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Science can produce some absolutely mind-tripping results.

Like the Many-Worlds interpretation of quantum physics, originally developed by Hugh Everett. In Mr. Everett's world (well, in at least some of them anyway), every decision you make creates as many new universes as there are different possible outcomes of the decision. It is by no means a universally accepted view among physicists, but it does solve several vexing problems in quantum physics.

I find this thrilling. If true, it would mean that there is a universe in which Nancy Pelosi's gloves are, indeed, off. Maybe even several of them. I wonder... What might such a world look like?

Take today, for instance.

Today, we learned that our President may have ordered the leak of classified information for purely political reasons. Sounds evil and Nixonian, doesn't it? Unfortunately, since we are trapped in one of the lesser-Nancy worlds, we heard mostly static in response to this revelation. As I write, CNN and MSNBC websites are headlining a lot of scary 9/11 stories. The Bush leak story is merely a secondary headline.

We also learned today that President Bush might even fancy the idea of spying on purely domestic calls. Now if THAT ain't Nixonian, I don't know what is. I haven't found any references to that yet on the CNN or MSNBC websites. Maybe it is buried deep and I just haven't noticed it yet.

But goddammit, why should I have to look AT ALL?!?

It should be impossible NOT to notice the story. Ther should big, screaming headlines with block letters. Stories like this used to be told that way. I grew up in the Watergate era. I know that at one time, the press used to freak out on stuff like this.

I HATE this world!

Why did I have to be born here? What friggin' decision do I have to make to land in one of them glove-free worlds?

If Mr. Everett is correct, there is a world where Nancy is breathing fire right now, and CNN and MSNBC are taking notice.

"Screw Moussaoui," the CNN editor cries in the Mega-Nancy world. "Have you seen what Nancy Pelosi just said? Get me a live feed NOW, before she has a stroke on the Capitol steps!" MrHelper giggled with glee on reading the headlines, and cracked open a beer to celebrate.

Sigh... MrHelper lives in a lesser-Nancy world, and mutters and grumbles under his breath while typing the last few words of a cynical, negative diary.

His only positive thought? At least there might be a universe out there where all of our troubles would seem like science fiction. Where Nancy has never owned a pair of gloves.

Originally posted to mrhelper on Thu Apr 06, 2006 at 07:06 PM PDT.

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