Today you said, in reference to Rummy taking a hike, that you will be the "decider" on the issue. I have every faith you will rise to the task with grace and aplomb.
What's that? Oh, no I wasn't referring to a plum. Excuse me? No, Mr. President, I don't have any plums.
What I meant was, uh...well, never mind.
Anyhow, I just know you'll make the right choice. Just like all these other times you were a successful decider:
The nuclear option for attacking Iran
Revoking protections for the environment
Participating in leaking classified information to destroy political enemies
The success that is "No Child Left Behind"
The unauthorized invasion of Iraq
The undermining of personal freedoms in the name of fighting `terra'
The torture of civilians with nothing to show for it but...tortured civilians
Your absolute destruction of our standing in the world community
Your brilliant energy policies
Rummy, Rove, Cheney, McClellan, Roberts, Alito...
...and so many more!
See what a good decider you are?
But I have some news that may startle you. You see, the American people will soon be deciders too.
They already have decided you are an abysmal leader. They have decided that you have not one shred of the morals you so righteously claimed to have in abundance, and rode on the coattails of into office. They decided that your "plainspeak" was really code for plain dumb. They decided that bankrupting our treasury for war and profiteering of your buddies is a no-no. They decided that your eyes are beady, and frankly that your trademark smirk should be slapped off your face. Oh, they decided a lot of stuff. Your poll numbers show a lot of decidering going on out there about your leadership and abilities. And your buddies. Apparently, you decidered not to hear it.
And if there is any justice left in this crazy country, we will boot you and your band of scum brotherhood out on your asses come election day.
We are the deciders. Get ready for our decision shortly.