My mom is facing life with diminishing sight. Glaucoma has made her legally blind in one eye and a cataract is growing on the other. Her eye doctor is waiting to operate since even the slight risk that surgery places on her "good" eye is not worth the chance yet. One thing that really bothers her is that she can't seem to see color in the one eye. Since she retired, mom's gardens have been one of the delights of her solitary existence. She hauls colorful fresh blossoms into her tiny house all the time, even though many of them cause her allergic reactions. She has been assured that she will have sight until "the end of life's journey," but I know that she is worried. My mom is afraid that the last of her travel down the road of life will be seen dimly and only in black and white
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Starting when she was about eight years old, my mom attended a boarding school. One of her classmates was Ruth White. Ruth would call mom, "Red" because of her red hair. Mom would then call Ruth by her last name. After some time, the two friends, "Red and White" started calling another friend, "Blue," which made the trio, "Red, White, and Blue." This was innocent, schoolgirl fun, but often labeling people as a color leads to discrimination and hate. Fortunately, these young girls' "colors" were not being used to describe skin color. Mom has never mentioned being discriminated against because of her Native American blood. Her flaming red hair didn't fit most people's stereotype image of a "redskin." Also, her mom (my grandmother) didn't "look Indian" either. Both of them had enough blood to join the tribe, but never wanted to do it. The family didn't usually talk about the fact that some of us were of mixed race. It was something to be kept secret.
Color is an important part of our lives. Our language shows it. Even blind people commonly use colors to describe things, even things that are not visual. When sad, we are said to be blue. Someone might be described as being green with envy. There are songs that refer to colors, and even a genre of music called "the blues." I love the Disney song from "Pocahontas" about painting with all the "colors of the wind."
The subtitle of this piece refers to the expression "show your true colors," which indicates that you should show your real character even if you're afraid. Now that we are both adults, my mom has been revealing more of her inner feelings to me. Many are painful to hear, because she suffered some abuse, but all make her more real and more precious to me. As I've been writing, the lyrics, "I see your true colors shining through," have kept running through my mind. That song, "True Colors," was written by Billy Steinberg. It appeared on the Billboard's "Hot 100" chart when sung by Cyndi Lauper. It has also been performed by Phil Collins:
...I see your true colors
Shining through
I see your true colors
And that's why I love you
So don't be afraid to let them show
Your true colors,
True colors are beautiful,
Like a rainbow
Rainbows are such a treat for the eyes. I worry about my mom not being able to see them well, so I don't usually point them out to her. Flowers and pictures that she can bring up close to her face are fine. I share my writings and drawings with her often and make sure she sees the artwork of her grandchildren.
Another well-known song which mentions a rainbow is from a very old movie. (I love old movies!) The song, entitled, "Over the Rainbow" was written for the 1939 classic, "The Wizard of Oz" The song was listed at the top of the 100 Greatest Songs in American Films recently. "The Wizard of Oz" has many other wonderful songs and it is very colorful too. The beginning of the show was filmed in black and white. Later sepia ink was used to give that part of the film the characteristic brownish tint. The image seen to the left is from a poster of Judy Garland as the main character, Dorothy. It is a lovely black and white print that shows off the fresh-faced youth of that talented artist. We can tell she is supposed to be in Kansas in that shot since only the scenes done in the Kansas set are in black and white.
The middle part of the show is in color. Dorothy, and her friends travel the yellow brick road in search of the wonderful Wizard. The Technicolor images seen in the unusual land of Oz are incredibly colorful, like the one below of Emerald City, which was painted by an unknown artist.
Click here for the original of this picture and several other "Oz" photos.
The merry old land of Oz is full of surprises and full of colors. One of my favorite scenes in "The Wizard of Oz" is when Dorothy is surprised at seeing the Horse of a Different Color:
When Dorothy and her friends finally arrive at the Emerald City to see the Wizard of Oz, the doorman is none too willing to let them in. When Dorothy tells him that she was sent by the Good Witch of the North, the doorman asks her to prove it. The Scarecrow chimes in and tells him that Dorothy is wearing the Ruby Slippers that Glinda gave her. The doorman responds by saying,
"Oh, so she is! Well, bust my buttons! Why didn't you say that in the first place? That's a horse of a different color! Come on in!"
Then Dorothy and her friends are picked up by a cabby in a horse drawn carriage. Dorothy notices that the horse is now a different color than when she first saw it and asks,
"What kind of a horse is that? I've never seen a horse like that before!"
To which the cabby responds,
"No, and never will again, I fancy! There's only one of him, and he's it. He's the Horse of a Different Color you've heard tell about!"
MGM used gelatin to dye the Horse of a Different Color its various shades. And, rumor has it that they had a hard time keeping it on because the horse kept trying to lick it off.
There are several analyses of Frank L. Baum's books and their
political themes. Probably enough for another diary. There is also a rich symbolism in the fact that the beginning of the film and the end of the film are monochromatic. Dorothy dreams of a better life which can be found somewhere "over the rainbow." She finds her dream world to be beautiful and exciting; however there are nightmarish elements too. After following the yellow brick road through Oz, she chooses to journey back to her familiar homeland. There she is happy to be in a reality-based community with family and friends who love her. Sepia is again used for the scenes showing Dorothy back in her home in Kansas. She doesn't seem to mind that her world is now lacking the garish colors of Oz. Her adventures have made Dorothy realize that, truly, "There's no place like home!"
Click here for the source of the picture above.
Mom's home is a trailer set on a large lot in the foothills of the Cascade mountain range. Her only companion is a spoiled cat she's named "Sis" (in my honor). Many people would turn their nose up at her use of well water and a septic tank. After seeing her rumpled and dirty from working in her gardens, they might even lump her in with others labeled as "trailer trash." Yet to her, that small edifice is home, and there's no place like home!
When I was young, my mom and the other grownups were "Them." While occasionally adults could be fun, most of the time they were doing all sorts of things that didn't make any sense. As I matured, more and more of the things my parents did started to become understandable. Now, in the dimming twilight of her life, I feel that my mom is now part of "Us." Perhaps at the end of the road we all travel together, we will find that the differences between "Us" and "Them" will likewise disappear due to a more mature attitude and an understanding of our true colors.
Note: This diary is part of a series about prejudice, including "Us Vs. Them: Abraham, Martin, and Bush"; and "Us Vs. Them: We are the Majority".