Cross-posted on ConyersBlog
Packing devastating 150 MPH satire, Hurricane Colbert slammed into Washington D.C. last weekend, laying waste to thousands of expensive egos and careers and leaving behind torrential whining.
One of the hardest hit areas was the White House Stenographer's Dinner, where according to anthropologists, Beltway inhabitants gather together on an annual basis to worship themselves and display their presence so the progressive peons out in the vast wasteland beyond the Beltway levees will know who is important and who isn't.
Despite the efforts of The Immaculate Decider and the High Priests of the Holy Corporate Temple to conceal the destruction wrought by Hurricane Colbert,
video evidence of the carnage is spreading all over the Internets.
This video footage confirms initial reports from the scene by Helen Thomas that Hurricane Colbert struck with little advance warning, leaving no time for President Bush to put down his guitar in the middle of his rendition of "The Yellow Elephant of Texas" and order an emergency evacuation.
Video evidence also indicates that Ken Mehlman and Jeff Gannon/Guckert left the White House Stenographer's Dinner early and spent most of the evening in the back seat of Mehlman's Ford Explorer, which began rocking even before the full force of Hurricane Colbert struck the area.
For those of us reluctant to dwell on the gory details of Mehlman's and Guckert's impassioned struggle over who got to drill in whose wildlife refuge first and for how long, immediate relief is available from C-Span sentinels Alma and Sylv, who reported today that if you play the video backwards, you can clearly hear Bush, Cheney, Frist, and Santorum rapping alternate lyrics of the National Anthem in Spanish.
As one might have expected, FEMA was unable to coordinate relief efforts in the aftermath of Hurricane Colbert for several days. Recently excommunicated White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan explained this morning that this was due to the massive logistical problems involved in transporting relief supplies from the United Arab Emirates through Halliburton suppliers to the undocumented immigrant drivers of repossessed EnRon limousines who boycotted the relief effort because they hate America.
This left dazed survivors of the White House Stenographer's Dinner no choice but to try walking across the 14th Street Bridge to safety, where they were shot at by Arlington County deputies, who hadn't seen so many criminals in one place at one time since the State of the Union Address.
In response to the crisis unleashed by Hurricane Colbert, President Bush has scheduled a photo op later this week at the Richard M. Nixon Elementary School in Rockville, Maryland, where he will read the entire Book of Revelation to a class of first graders.
According to White House Communications Director Dan Bartlett, this will be the first phase in a comprehensive new administration strategy to prepare American schoolchildren for the imminent arrival of the AntiChrist, who can only be defeated by Jesus and His born again younger brother, President Bush.
If you have children, this might be a good time to consider home schooling them. In Canada.
OR . . . we can learn a thing or two about democracy and activism from our courageous newest Americans and fill the streets of Washington D.C. until the traitors infesting this criminal government resign.