I wish I could just cut and paste
the whole short piece, because Gene Weingarten? He's the funniest thing since his pal Dave Barry.
Gene has a great money-making plan for himself a la Jared Paul Stern (the guy who, for a bit o' ready cash, would make sure bad stories wouldn't show up in the gossip column).
Unlike JP Stern, Gene wouldn't make the mistake of approaching people who were smart.
Yeah, you need to sign in to WaPo, but it's worth it for lines like these:
Dear Mr. President,
It may have come to your attention that, in the past, I have written about you in a somewhat uncharitable fashion. For example, I once accused you of having destabilized the world, but only to the extent that "a baseball bat destabilizes a flamingo." Also, I said that if you and your phony-baloney, arch-conservative, sanctimonious, privacy-meddling cronies had your way, "it will be illegal to have sex unless you are wearing pajamas." To name just a couple.
I think we can agree that these characterizations are unpleasant. Wouldn't it be a pity if this sort of thing continued? Well, I come to you today with a simple, multitiered offer to make the whole problem go away.
Read the rest for some good stuff. Particularly the Good News he'd write for million dollar package.