No I'm not talking about global warming or the poisonous contents of toxic waste-dumping ships roaming our oceans; something far more sinister is afoot..
Recent escalations in violence towards the primate species have raised concern that animals are on the verge of seeking worldwide domination over this planet's other peaceful inhabitants.
First we have the story of the vicious assault perpetrated on one of our mandrill cousins last week in a zoo in the great nation of Holland Dutch bears in monkey murder shocker, followed by a carefully coordinated attack on the peaceful citizens of Norway Norway besieged by bear army.
In a clear effort to support the conquest of primates by their erstwhile ursine cousins, Australians have come under determined assault from Cane Toads Cartels operating in the southern hemisphere Oz cane toads stretch their legs.
Think Bird Flu is just a coincidence? Not likely, surely the outbreaks of avian flu are nothing more than further evidence of a united front against monkey-kind.
Finally evidence is slowly being uncovered that points to a hideous insurgency in England by it's squirrel population Squirrels going nuts - terror ensues. Cute and fluffy? I don't think so, the sooner this vermin is put down the better!
So a call to arms my fellow mandrill warriors, as we repel animal-kind's systematic takedown of our defenses in what is clearly fast becoming the greatest war on freedom in our time.
Note:- This diary entry was inspired (read: thieved) by an article written by Chris Williams of The Register .