I've been away for almost a week looking for a place to live in Charlottesville. In that time, I've been unable to make any calls or update CallingAllWingnuts.com.
That's OK though. Jack from Oceanside filled in quite nicely for me. He didn't follow my tipsheet - you could tell he was reading from a cribsheet - but the results were incredible - and hilarious - anyway.
Jack had no idea what he was getting himself into.
You see, Rush didn't believe Jack was Jack. Rush thought that Jack was pulling a scam. Rush wanted to know when "Jack" was going to Vegas. Rush wanted to know "Jack's" real name. Rush thought Jack was me.
But Jack was really Jack.
It made for some great comedy - Larry David woulda had a hard time writing this.
Flip for the script - or just go listen here. (you really need to hear it for the full effect).
Rush: To Oceanside, California. Jack, glad you called sir. Glad to have you on the EIB network.
Jack: Rush, John Kerry said about Vietnam, "No one wants to be the last one to die for a mistake". Incidents like Haditha will make it impossible to achieve the goal of creating a democracy in Iraq that is friendly to the United States. Rush, are you now willing to admit that Iraq is a disaster, a mistake and it is time to bring the troops home? Unless you in your arrogance are willing to send more of young men and women to their death...
Rush: (talking over Jack) Hey Jack, Jack Hey Jack! Jack! (deadens Jack's mic) Tell us all your real name, will ya? And tell us where you really live... Tell us who you really are Jack... give us your real name. And, also... you might want to tell us when you're gonna be in Las Vegas - that's coming up soon isn't it?
Jack: (bewildered) What? What's that? I don't even know what you're talking about.
Rush: Yes you do. Tell us you're real name. You are an imposter. You make a habit of calling programs and reading prepared speeches like this gibberish that you've just shared with us making demands of me. So tell us who you really are Jack, I want to know you're real name.
Jack: Well you know, you're just displaying to your audience that you can't answer my question.
Rush: No. What I'm displaying to my audience is that I don't put up with liars and frauds on this program. You don't have to lie to get on this program, and when you do, your time is cut short. Why should I give credence, why should I respond and descend to your level to answer your silly, non-sensical, biased, agenda-oriented questions? I'm not going to waste my time. Just tell us who you are Jack and tell us where you really live.
Jack: Well, uh, you know... I think you've lost your marbles.
Rush: uh, no Jack... I'm in full possession of all three of my marbles...
Jack: I have no idea what you are talking about. You need to address what I just said.
Rush: No, I don't need to address a damned thing that you just said, Jack
[crosstalk]
Rush: You are a fraud and I don't have to address anything. I will address things on my own time in my own way, but I am not going to allow some low-life to put me on the defensive and make me assume the position of defending a position tha I don't even know is true based on just your simple assertion. I've given you three chances now to come clean, to be honest and tell us who you really are... uh... I happen to know who you are Jack and if you try this one more time I'm going to blow you're cover so that everybody else knows who you are and ruin your little scam that you've got going out there.
Now just to clear some things up here...
When Rush's previous screener left, I emailed the show. I think his name was Brian and as I've said elsewhere, he was an expert at sniffing me out. So I emailed saying that Brian did a great job and I was glad to see him go, but he had my best wishes.
So I was never hiding my identity from Rush. I came out and told him I'd be calling more often now that Brian was gone. Further, the new guy has flat out asked me before, "This isn't Mike from Albany, is it?" So I know they know who I am.
Even more to the point: there is an industry trade magazine called "Talkers". When I started the site, I emailed them a heads-up and they wrote TWO articles about me (one article had to do with O'Reilly, the other had to do with the marraige of blogs and talk radio) in the last issue. They even printed my picture.
So I'm not hidin' and I'm not quittin'.
Seriously though, this is fourth wingnut (including Hannity) that has caught on to what I'm doing. What is funny is that each one of them has attempted to bully me. Instead of being happy to engage in debate and show me (and their audience) the error of my ways, they threaten to sue me, send Fox News Security after me, come to my house or just "come after" me.
What are they afraid of? Why are they so insecure? Are their ideas not capable of withstanding scrutiny by some nobody with a website? Hell, my traffic is maybe 10,000 visitors in a good week. Each of these folks is speaking to, at a minimum, tens of thousands of people every day... Again, what are they afraid of?