I've been sort of sitting around and trying to think some things through and I kind of had this new idea I wanted to tell you about. It's sort of that all these right wing guys are all into thinking about evolution - you know, evolution like that guy Darwin used to go around talking about all the time. He really knew how to think things through, that Darwin, you've really got to give it to the guy. So anyway, the idea is that all these right wing guys, they think about rich guys the same way that old Darwin used to think about new kinds of birds flying around and all. Only they didn't think it through like old Darwin would have.
I like guys who tend to sit around thinking things through all the time; maybe that's because I tend to sit around thinking things through for what always seems like maybe about fifty years or something. And by the way, I already realize the whole thing about right wing guys believing in evolution, so don't send me like a million emails about it because I've already thought about it like about a million times. And by `right wing guys' I'm not talking about some good old guy over in south Alabama who votes for republicans out of habit like my grandpa.
You take a guy like my grandpa, and he's always saying he's gonna vote for Bush or whoever the republican is; `because he's just as good as the next guy,' is what he keeps saying all the time. I'm not talking about good old guys in south Alabama who like to go fishing all the time and like to fix stuff and build stuff like dollhouses for their granddaughters like that old dollhouse that my grandpa built for my sister. That was really a piece of work, that old dollhouse.
No, I'm talking more about that Dick Cheney character. You take a guy like old Dick Cheney, and when he goes on all those TV shows all the time, and you can tell that he can't really tell you what he's truly thinking about because if he did, it would scare the obscenity out of you, and its no good for politicians to sort of go on TV and sort of scare the holy obscenity right out of all the people who were sort of just sitting around watching the TV. I mean he does end up scaring the obscenity out of you, but just in a way that's gonna get you to go along with whatever scheme it was that he went on that TV show to talk about in the first place.
It's like all this fighting over in Iraq. Old Dick Cheney went and got on all those TV shows and sort of scared the obscenity out of all those people who were sort of just sitting around, watching TV, and minding their own business. And then all those people started saying `yeah lets go over there and kick some butt' or whatever it was they said. But then the thing that really killed me was when it turned out that all that obscenity that old Dick Cheney had used to scare all those people who were just sitting around and minding their own business, all that obscenity turned out to be a big load of obscenity. Boy, that really killed me when it turned out that old Dick Cheney had been lying about all those weapons and all. It still kills me so much that I start talking all foul-mouthed about it and I really want to go and apologize to you for talking like that, and I'm really gonna go and try and cut that out.
So anyway, what I got to thinking about old Dick Cheney, was that he had some other big idea when he went on all those TV shows, and that he just used all that stuff about weapons to get all those people to go along with him even though they didn't really know what he was actually thinking about at the time. So then I got to thinking more and more, and boy it really started to get to me when I started thinking about how all the other stuff that old Dick Cheney had been doing seemed to fit right in with this new idea that I'd been having.
All this other stuff, it was basically how old Dick Cheney really seemed like he liked rich guys a lot, like too much if you know what I mean. I know what you're gonna say, you're gonna say, `well I'd like all those rich guys too if they were all about to give me like about a million dollars just to help me out and all.' But that's not what I meant. What I meant was that old Dick Cheney seemed like he liked all those rich guys like they were some sort of second coming of old Jesus from Nazareth or something.
Its like how old Dick Cheney wants all these rich kids to get all their Dad's money without paying a dime back to the system that sort of let their Dad make all that money in the first place. I mean, you take a rich kid like that, and what's he gonna do? He's gonna live it up, that's what he's gonna do. Only it was his Dad that made all that money by working so hard all the time, and what's this kid ever done? I know, I know, maybe this guy worked his butt off all the time just so his kid could live it up like he always wanted to, and that's fine - let the rich kid live it up, but you don't think he should at least have to pay a dime back into the whole system that he's so busy living it up in all the time? I mean, what if this kid is some sort of maniac or something?
Anyway, the other thing I kept thinking about was all this global warming stuff, and how all the lowlands are gonna get flooded and how all the poor people are gonna get washed out to sea and all. And wouldn't you know, but all that stuff about global warming turns out to fit right in with this idea I'd been having, and that old Dick Cheney actually sort of wanted global warming to happen, because it'd be sort of like hitting two birds with one stone for old Dick Cheney, even though I never really understood this business about going around throwing rocks at poor old birds, I mean what sort of maniac's gonna go around doing that all the time anyway?
So then I got to thinking about it more and more, and I kept thinking about it for it must've been like about fifty years or something. And so I couldn't stop thinking about how old Jesus from Nazareth used to always keep walking around all the time, and how he kept walking around and talking about helping all those poor guys like it was some sort of mission for the man. And so I kept on thinking about old Jesus from Nazareth and about how he got to be all famous after he got killed be the Romans and all. But then I started to think about why it really was that old Jesus from Nazareth got all famous and that it couldn't have just been the whole thing about getting killed by the Romans, because those old Romans used to go around killing whole boatloads of guys like it was their mission to go around killing people all the time, and none of those poor old guys ever got to be famous like old Jesus from Nazareth did.
And so then what I thought was about how the reason old Jesus from Nazareth got to be all famous must've been all those miracles that he kept going around doing all the time, and how all those other guys that got killed by the Romans never went around doing miracles like old Jesus from Nazareth used to do. But then I sort of asked myself, why did old Jesus from Nazareth keep going around doing miracles all the time? And then I sort of figured out that it must've been that he wanted to sort of convince people about all the stuff that he kept walking around and talking about all the time. I guess you can't really expect any old guy like Dick Cheney to go around doing miracles just to sort of convince people about what he thinks, but what do you suppose it means that instead of walking around doing miracles all the time, that old Dick Cheney just keeps going around shooting poor old birds all the time?
So anyway I had started thinking, about old Jesus from Nazareth, that he must've kept going around doing all kinds of miracles and all because he really was serious about convincing people to go around and help each other out all the time, and especially to help out all those guys who sort of didn't get like a million dollars when their Dad passed on and all. And I sort of started to think about why he wanted to help out all those guys, and what I realized was that old Jesus from Nazareth, he sort of had this feeling about people, this feeling it was that you shouldn't judge them. And I guess he thought you shouldn't judge them, I figured it out this way, you shouldn't judge them because you never know who's gonna be the next sort of new bird flying around.