Capt. Ramsey: [Reads EAM] "To the U.S.S. Alabama: Rebel-controlled missiles being fuelled. Launch codes compromised, dissidents threaten to launch at continental United States, set defcon 2. Immediately launch ten Trident missile sorties." They're FUELLING THEIR MISSILES! We don't have time to fuck around!
Hunter: Sir, I think you need time to think this over.
Capt. Ramsey: I DON'T HAVE TO THINK THIS OVER!
When all else fails, Bushco goes back to man-on-turtle sex, flag burning and North Korean nukes. The former two don't seem to be working, Faux news ratings are dropping like a stone, so Bushco turns back to the crazy Asian guy with the bad rug. They have some half baked photos of a missile that John Gibson is now, in effect, threatening Berkeley with. They said it was fueling. And of course CNN is running images of mushroom clouds, and this Fox guy Hunt is extending the threat all the way to Kansas City, Chicago maybe.
Vice President
Bush Dick "1% is a certainty" Cheney is activating the US missile defense system. Boy. Any day now I expect the old
N. Korean warhead found in Alaska story to resurface. Karl Rove, having completed his bizarre comparsion between
George W. Bush and Teddy Roosevelt, is readying the JFK comparisons.
COME FREAKIN OFF IT.
Does anyone remember the last great North Korean intel fiasco? that they had built bleachers to view a nuclear test???????? hello? Not even the Kimster is that nuts; turned out to be a dumpster.
The distance from N. Korea to Berkeley is over 5500 miles, Mr. Gibson. The missile is a two stage taepodong-2 with an approximate range of 3700 miles. Of course, you can't just fuel a missile and let it sit. The fuel is very corrosive. It's been over a week since Bushco put out the "story." The news now is that the fuelling idea may have been oversold. Of course that is in small print on the back of section three. The US missile defense system is Barney Fife and Opey with tin can phones and paintball guns, that has cost us many billion dollars and has never done squat. In some of the tests, it hasn't even gotten off the launching pad. But in fairness, the chances of a North Korean missile hitting anything but water is just about the same as a US missile hitting anything but water. And a nuclear weapon? Well, now we are beyond ridiculous. The idea that N. Korea has a functioning nuclear payload that they would put in an untested weapon and fling it into space in the general direction of the US is a proposition that only the Clinton camp would respond to with Presidential-to-be forcefulness. Not even the mad-rug-man is that mad. Regime-vaporization would be the term.
No, people, this is Karl Rove trying to do a remake of Crimson Tide, only this time the goal is just to get the US electorate to DEFCON whatever, so they won't buck the neo-Monarchists success at tapping our phones, emails, bank accounts, and looting the treasury.
And what have we been doing to deal with North Korea?
The reports of a possible launch come after a prolonged hiatus in six-party nuclear disarmament talks designed to create a Korean peninsula free of nuclear weapons.
Okay, once again crack US diplomacy petulance has come up empty; that's because all we ever offer is not to whack people over the head. And when they don't respond the way we want, we raise the whack ante. Great. Faux ratings go up, Bush gets a baby bounce, and the crimes of the GOP go unnoticed for a few days. Where have I seen this before?
Conrad 'Connie' Brean: What's the thing people remember about the Gulf War? A bomb falling down a chimney. Let me tell you something: I was in the building where we filmed that with a 10-inch model made out of Legos.
Stanley Motss: Is that true?
Conrad 'Connie' Brean: Who the hell's to say?