What is the one reason I don't like going to clubs?
Two words letters. DJ's.
I hate DJ's with every ounce of my being. I don't care who you are, I hate ALL DJ's and I hate you all equally. Even the ones on the radio, in fact the 2nd crappiest part of listening to the radio is the DJ.
The first is of course the commercials. Particularly the ones where they say their phone number 27 times. I mean seriously it doesn't matter how many times you say it I'm not going to call you! But at least radio DJ's come from a long tradition of manually controlling the selection and order of music.
Club DJ's on the other hand have solved a horrible problem I never knew existed. That being the simplicity of the jukebox! I mean c'mon, you play pre-recorded music! Talk about a non-job. Clubs have taken the totally unbiased jukebox and replaced it with a college dropout who thinks his LSD habit makes his musical taste superior to all others.
Seriously I'd rather listen to the crappiest boy band sing their sappiest song out of key than let one of these so-called "Artists" control what I'm forced to listen too all night. Drunk or not it's still shit.
But aside from the fact that they play the widest array of horse shit from the 80s, 90s and now! They also have the added bonus of having absolutely zero talent or skill whatsoever! The music industry as a whole is in the saddest shape in its entire history and these people are part of the problem. Being in a band I have nothing but contempt for all of them.
And here is a perfect example why. When I play someone elses song, I study and learn the music inside and out. I practice it with my band over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over until I absolutely hate the song almost as much as I hate DJ's! The upside of course is I can play it so well you'd think it was my all time favorite.
When a DJ plays someone elses song (since they lack the skill and knowledge to write one of their own) they simply press a button. Oh wow, how wonderfully talented these people are. Totally deserving of their status. You can imagine my glee when I hear about a venue featuring not one but TWO of these no talent clowns every weekend. Why its almost enough to make me shoot myself in the eye.
Now maybe its their fault for being absolutely talentless, or maybe its my own fault for being unable to tolerate absolutely talentless people. Either way its greatly disturbing to know clubs actually PAY them to sit there and control the stereo. I can't imagine how hard it must be for a club rat to sit in a CLUB all night and listen to music! My god that must take a lot of preparation, discipline and skill. I'm sure they've devoted a lot of time and sacrificed so very very much for their dream.
I mean its not like they would be there anyway... oh wait yes, yes they would.
Now there is of course some skill involved. For instance not EVERY system has a cross fade button. So some DJs have to actually use their hands to turn one tracks volume down while at the same time turning another tracks volume up. I know I know its just too much to ask of one person but somehow they manage to pull it off.
Though maybe I'm not giving them enough credit I mean I'm sure it takes a little skill to operate that equipment. Heck it took me a good 10 minutes to familiarize myself with my home stereo system. And what would I know about musical equipment? It's not like I deal with tons of amps, mixers, equalizers, lighting, tuners, pre amps, PA's, effects pedals, microphones and everything else that goes into setting up and performing live on stage. On top of actually LEARNING TO PLAY AN INSTRUMENT, writing music and singing!
Its gotta be really tough using that cross fader.
I mean gimme a break. Honestly the only difference between the DJ and the people dancing is that the people on the dance floor paid to get in while the DJ gets paid to be there. Meanwhile bands everywhere get shut out because venues would rather pay one of these hacks than hire a group of serious musicians.
True DJ's aren't the ONLY ones to blame but it's hard enough making it in the music business as it is. Competing with other bands, working your ass off and spending thousands of dollars a year to split a couple hundred here and there! The last thing we need is no talent disc jockeys taking over all the venues. I mean you have a huge pool of REAL talent going to waste out there because there are a million bands and a very limited number of band friendly venues for them to play.
In fact most new venues don't even bother having a stage built anymore. Whats the point if you're just going to hire some dumbass with an overpriced iPod? So every year there are fewer and fewer places for touring bands to play. Fewer and fewer opportunities for struggling artists to make a name for themselves. Fewer and fewer chances for an undiscovered band to build a fan base and finally make it.
And ultimately it means fewer and fewer new artists/songs for these DJ's to exploit in the future. And thats basically what it all boils down too. DJ's make a name for themselves by standing on the backs of real musicians. They take the blood sweat and tears of your favorite bands and mix in a thumping drum machine loop so they can call it their own.
The worst part is the bands are the ones who get shit on.
But heres the real kicker. If you think music sucks NOW, wait until all those undiscovered bands who normally keep the industry refreshed and replenished with new and interesting material never have their chance to be discovered. Theres a reason it all starts to sound the same. So yeah in many ways the DJ represents the decline of music.
And not only that, they play the shittiest stuff ever recorded.
But hey have fun dancing to the extra long house remix of your favorite pop stars. Including but not limited too Vanilla Ice, Ricky Martin and my personal favorite Milli Vanilli.
Maybe if we're real lucky the DJ will lead us all in doing the Macarena!
I'm out.