Now how in the world could Iran be attacking the entire world you ask? Let's use
John Gibson's logic. Hezbollah attacked Israel with rockets. And of course, according to Gibson
when Hezbollah attacks Israel -- or attacks anybody -- it is Iran that is really doing the attacking." And when Iran is attacking Israel, they are really attacking the United States of America. After all, the US is strategically allied with Israel. But if Iran is attacking the United States, it is also considered an attack, by virtue of NATO membership, on Canada, England, Belgium, Netherlands, Italy, Iceland, Denmark, Luxembourg, Norway, Portugal, Greece, Turkey, Germany, the Czech Republic, Hungary, Poland, Bulgaria, Estonia, Latvia, Lithuania, Romania, Slovakia and Slovenia.
But wait - it get's far, far more serious...
According to the Five Power Defense Arrangements (FPDA), attacking England is also attacking Australia, New Zealand, Malaysia and Singapore. And attacking Australia and New Zealand is like attacking the United States again according to the Australia, New Zealand, United States Security Treaty (ANZUS).
But NATO has partner countries. So an attack on say Latvia is an attack, through the Mediterranean Dialogue, on Algeria, Egypt, Israel, Jordan, Mauritania, Morocco and Tunisia, and by way of the Euro-Atlantic Partnership, an attack on Austria, Finland, Ireland, Sweden, Switzerland, Armenia, Azerbaijan, Belarus, Georgia , Kazakhstan , Kyrgyzstan , Moldova, Russia, Tajikistan, Turkmenistan, Ukraine, and Uzbekistan, which is also an attack on Russia, Belarus, Kazakhstan, Kyrgyzstan, Tajikistan, Armenia and Uzbekistan once again according to the Collective Security Treaty Organization (CSTO). Of course being in the Shanghai Cooperation Organization (SCO), an attack on Kazakhstan is an attack on, the People's Republic of China, Kyrgyzstan, Russia and Tajikistan, Uzbekistan, and oh my goodness... Iran! So an attack by Hezbollah on Israel is actually an attack by Iran on itself!!! Those idiots!
And clearly any attack on Iran is an attack on the United States so now we have to attack Iran in time for the 2006 election's October suprise!!! But then we'll be attacking ourselves!!!
How will Rove spin this to electoral victory?