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It's starting to feel like Grenada time. America is getting that bogged down, nothing working, no-good, rotten, military miasma, quagmire feeling. It's time for a crisp, clean, thrilling VICTORY! You remember Grenada, don't you? After the stunning loss of over 200 Marines in a single terrorist bombing in Lebanon, Ronzo (Cut and Run) Reagan desperately needed a victory. Fortunately, an uppity Marxist government on the tiny island of Grenada was available as a target. The rest is part of American military theater history.

Here are some suggestions for our next glorious conquest:

1. Liechtenstein. The King of Liechtenstein has not been sufficiently supportive of the WAR ON TERROR, and he has a great art collection that we could trash to show the world we are tough.

2. Aruba. We could dress up some CIA people as Cuban secret agents working at clandestine WMD sites and mount a lightning strike to protect American tourists from terrorism.

3. Puerto Rico. We could get Jose Padilla to confess to the existence of terrorist cells in Puerto Rico. What could be more convenient than conquering a country we have already conquered? Let's get out that old waterboard!

4. Cambridge, Massachusetts. This nest of traitors contains the lair of the dreaded Noam Chomsky, the evil academician who dares to describe accurately the actions of the Bush Administration. Let's show those effete liberal snobs who is  boss!

Feel free to suggest other targets for a quick win. Why wait for an October surprise? Cheney/Bush need a lift now. We need a cheap victory (and we can't afford anything else).

Originally posted to ANKOSS on Fri Jul 21, 2006 at 09:04 AM PDT.

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Comment Preferences

  •  war on (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    dotsright, Cronesense

    war on Christmas II, This time it's personal.  Maybe show some liberals kicking baby jesus lawn ornaments?

    "Those who say religion has nothing to do with politics do not know what religion is."- Gandhi

    by voter for sale on Fri Jul 21, 2006 at 09:05:15 AM PDT

  •  Crawford Texas! (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    dotsright, Cronesense

    With the ruthlessness of General Sherman!

    'Events are in the saddle and ride mankind.' Emerson

    by deepsouthdoug on Fri Jul 21, 2006 at 09:06:49 AM PDT

  •  HeeHee-larious. I needed the sobering jest. (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:

    Exactly the paradox the doxtor ordered. And now let's monitor as the NeoCons crank up the World War III propaganda and futher marginalize themselves while overexercising their "faithful dog" followers.

    "How did we steal 2000, 2002, 2004 and 2006? We controlled the voting machines, and they didn't pay attention until too late." --Rove

    by Enough Talk Lets Get Busy on Fri Jul 21, 2006 at 09:08:18 AM PDT

  •  CT (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:

    If us here in CT don't vote for Sen. Joementum in a few weeks, that is probably grounds for air strikes against Hartford and New Haven.

  •  Lesson from Grenada (0+ / 0-)

    Troops should carry a calling card so they can get orders from the Pentagon when their multi-million pound communication system fails.

    That's all I remember.  Except the very surprised medical students sunning by the pool with their pina coladas when "rescued" by our brave troops.

    "Americans can always be counted on to do the right thing - after they have exhausted all other possibilities." Winston Churchill

    by LondonYank on Fri Jul 21, 2006 at 09:49:37 AM PDT

  •  CANADA! BLAME CANADA!!!!.... (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:

    after ALL, they DID allow a terrist to breach our border with explosives a coupla years ago - so by the rational of israel, we SHOULD be able to bomb alberta, massacre montreal and trounce toronto!

    besides, that new prime minister spoke gasp FRENCH in front of our preznut!

    [altogether now..... one, two, three]

    BOMB CANADA!!!  

    Blame Canada Lyrics
    Artist: South Park Parents

    Buy South Park Parents's CD

    Blame Canada

    South Park Parents

    Times have changed,
    Our kids are getting worse
    They won't obey their parents,
    They just want to fart and curse. Should we blame the government, or blame society, or should we blame the images on tv No!
    Blame Canada! Blame Canada

    With all their beady little eyes,
    their flapping heads so full of lies
    Blame Canada!
    Blame Canada!
    We need to form a full assault, it's Canada's fault! Don't blame me, for my son Stan, He saw the darn cartoon, and now he's off to
    join the klan!> And my boy eric once, had my picture on his shelf, but now when I see him, he tells me to fuck myself>

    Well, Blame Canada!

    It seems that everything's gone wrong since
    Canada came along
    Blame Canada!
    Blame Canada! They're not even a real country anyway. My son could of been a doctor or a lawyer, it's a true, Instead he burned up like a piggie on a barbecue> Should we blame the matches? Should we blame the fire, or the doctor who allowed him to expire. Heck no!
    Blame Canada!
    Blame Canada!
    With all their hockey hubaloo and that bitch Anne Murray too. Blame Canada!
    Shame on Canada!

    The smut we must stop
    The trash we must smash
    Laughter and fun
    must all be undone
    We must blame them and cause a fuss
    Before somebody thinks of blaming us!

    bigger, longer and uncut - bush WISHES!!!

    •  Er,uh (0+ / 0-)

      I guess I can at least be grateful that you left Vancouver off your list of Canadian targets. But really, do you want to be giving these guys ideas? They're just likely to take them. Look at the crazy shit they've done already.

      •  i can see why you'd be worried that they would (0+ / 0-)

        try to "vanquish" vancouver... heh heh heh!

        •  Palavering Plotters (0+ / 0-)

          Ahhh, I see the game now. With Israel getting all that wonderful publicity for its little border war with Lebanon, you want in on that action?

          A border war, eh?


          Got it! What about that other border? You know! That one that's been causing all those pesky problems with immigrants?

          Solve two problems with one war! Get your border war and also, what illegal immigrant is going to try sneaking across the border with the US army and marines storming in from the other side?

          Eureka! As a publicity bonus, the troops get to shout "Remember the Alamo!" while storming across.

          I feel so conniving and craven. Some days it's not easy being a neighbor to the elephant in the room.

  •  Whatever Happened to Grenada? (0+ / 0-)

    Whatever happened to Grenada?  Does it have truly democratic government these days?  Didn't they build that jetport that was the excuse for the war?  Are the remaining Diamond Revolutionaries out of jail?

    BTW, Chomsky has his office in Cambridge at MIT.  He lives in Lincoln, MA I think.  He's a skinny old dude.  Would be easier just to snuff him in an "accident."

    Solar is civil defense. Video of my small scale solar experiments at

    by gmoke on Fri Jul 21, 2006 at 03:46:22 PM PDT

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