Everything was so simple when I took the MSM at their word, when I really didn't think about politics or how everything affects everything else. I was warm and secure in my little cozy world of ignorance. I walked around with a bounce in my step, a smile on my face (OK, a determined grimace), and usually a beer in my hand. Things were lovely.
And then I was coaxed into joining the perilous world of politics.
Things were never the same again.
Every fucking day I wake up angry. Every fucking day I find another reason to swear more and yell more and lecture my idiot friends who cling to their little ignorant havens. I envy them their lack of knowledge.
Not a day goes by where I don't hear something from one of my friends that makes me want to grab them by the throat and givng them a slapping. I know these people, they're smarter than this.
Yet they repeat the same stupid bullshit that I used to say before I got involved and learned a thing or two. They insist that there's no difference between Republicans and Democrats. They're convinced that the economy is doing just fine. "DEMOCRATS ARE JUST AS CORRUPT AS REPUBLICANS LOL!"
Fucking people.
People I thought were decent individuals, who were genuinely nice people, tell me that "faggots and dykes are destroying America." With a straight face, they say this! And nod like I'm going to fucking agree with them, like I'm not going to tell them why they're fucking stupid.
I can't talk politics with my friends, really. I know too much and not enough. I know too much because I want to talk about Haditha and the Downing Street memo and Diebold and all sorts of shit like that, but they don't know anything about it so it's basically just me saying things and them looking at me like I've got a dick growing out of my forehead.
I don't know enough because when they want extra clarification or they want me to give them a specific history, I can't fucking do it. I don't have links handy at the bar, I don't have transcripts of Gonzo's confirmation hearing. So they think I'm just exaggerating or making a big deal out of nothing.
Same thing with my family. Republican brother-in-law, sister who doesn't know enough, father who reads 9-11 conspiracy books, mother who "doesn't give a shit, all politicians suck anyway." The frustration when I run into such apathy just boils inside until one day I simply can't hold it in and snap on some mundane political point, furthering everyone's opinion that "TheBlaz is a fucking lunatic."
So I come to dailykos. Here I find my political fix, here I read all the diaries and all the posts. Here I find more reasons to be pissed, more reasons to want to tell my friends and family that Republicans are destroying America. They've destroyed our economy, they're allowing our soldiers to fight a war based on lies and have refused to own up to that. It's gotten to the point where all I want to do is quit my job and spend every waking minute dedicated to politics, doing what I can to make things a little better for my friends and family, even if they don't understand.
So yeah. Politics is my passion. It keeps me going, gets me motivated.
And it's also ruining my life.
Anger's bad for the blood pressure.