Cross-posted at We Are Not Damaged Goods.
In the days leading up to the Democratic Primary election in Connecticut, incumbent Joe Lieberman accused Ned Lamont's campaign of hacking into the Friends of Lieberman website and disrupting their e-mail system.
Most, of course, wrote off the Lieberman camp as a bunch of whiny, sore losers with an appetite for blame biscuits. Most would mention that a fair amount of hard evidence has been presented since the accusation was made to show that no one is responsible for hacking Lieberman's website.
Which means that "most" have spoken too soon.
The truth is this: It was me. I crashed Joe's cyber-mojo. And I have the pictures to prove it. It was an ADVENTURE, let me assure you.
Click below the fold for the complete story with pictures.
It began in the tranquil yellow courtyard of Ned Lamont's campaign headquarters. Much of the kingdom of Connecticut was aflutter with excitement about the possibilities presented by the new challenger. But I knew he would need help. I got my things squared away and collected my thoughts before taking the road ahead. I decided it would be a good idea to bring a weapon. I passed through the gate of Lamont HQ to see what I could find.
A sword! What luck! A worthy, majestic blade, indeed.... or, pointy enough to stab something at least.
I set out with my newfound Excalibur. The first order of business would be finding a way inside the Lieberman HQ. It wasn't long before I stumbled into trouble.
There it was! The key to Lieberman HQ! But guarded by a grotesque, steely-eyed dragon! The beast reared its ugly fangs and drew nearer. He hissed as I raised Excalibur from my side. The dragon lunged, but I was the quicker, and it let out a mightly squeal whilst I thrust the sword into its belly.
With the key to Lieberman HQ in hand, I set back onto the path.
Another dragon! (Perhaps this is why Lieberman couldn't afford bandwidth?) But I deftly maneuvered and slayed him justly.
As I approched Lieberman's headquarters, the terrain grew treacherous. Lieberman had developed a vast and complicated labrynth to deter intruders.
But the labrynth was no match for my keen sense of direction.
I soon came upon Lieberman HQ. The dark, brooding castle stood tall before me. The stench was rotten and the architecture was... erm, simple. I pressed my key into the gate and it opened with a depressing yawn. It sounded eerily as if it was speaking, "Joooooooo-ooooooooe."
I stepped carefully into the lair. Once my eyes adjusted to the dark, my fortunes turned again for the better. In the corner lay a large, powerful magnet. I used it to disable the banks of ancient computers nearby (they're so old, they ARE the walls of the lair).
My objective complete, I considered turning back for safer ground immediately. But something drew me further in, to the next antechamber, carefully moving so as not to make a sound.
I didst not believe mine eyes! There before me, in all its shimmering glory, the DEMOCRATIC NOMINATION. With it, Sir Lamont would be able to end the times of sorrow that had engulfed the kingdom, squeezing it in its clutches. Without hesitation, I took the glowing trophy in my hands and raced through the gate.
I sprinted through the maze at a gallant pace, too excited to notice my racing heart and quickened breath.
I stopped a moment and spat upon the corpse of the evil dragon, for good measure.
FINALLY! I had arrived back at Lamont HQ with the Democratic Nomination. The horrid cries of Lieberman could be heard throughout the land that evening. He cursed and accused and threatened running as an independent. Despite the endless dirge song, the citizens celebrated. There was much rejoicing.
Oh, and no need to thank me.