(this is a cross-post from
Our Republic)
To: Citizens of New Jersey
From: Republicus
Re: Your Republican candidate for the United States Senate
Trenton, I think we have a problem. As a former resident of the great state of New Jersey, I feel obliged to inform you that you're being misled. As you are undoubtedly aware, Tom Kean was the Governor of New Jersey, served honorably as Chairman of the 9/11 Commission and even has a university named after him. Frankly, he is a decent human being. He is not, however, running for the United States Senate. You see, the fellow on the right (presumably addressing his colleagues on the student council) is the Republican candidate for the U.S. Senate.
I know this may come as a shock, but you shouldn't blame yourselves. Junior's website is, after all, is titled "Tom Kean for U.S. Senate" (just one example) and usually sons who bear their father's name take care to append the "Jr." Or perhaps...junior's cunning extends well beyond his years. Please understand, I do not mean to say Junior's resume is limited to his activities in High School. He has heretofore participated in New Jersey politics without embarrassing himself and served honorably as a volunteer firefighter and emergency technician (though I'm not sure if these were separate occupations). Be that as it may, Senator Menendez has been running against the Kean name.
Another issue concerns Article 1, Section 3 of our Constitution, which states, in pertinent part:
No Person shall be a Senator who shall not have attained to the Age of thirty Years, and been nine Years a Citizen of the United States, and who shall not, when elected, be an Inhabitant of that State for which he shall be chosen.
Of course, I am uncertain as to whether this poses a problem for Junior. His
biography does not disclose a date of birth. It does, however, provide a number of interesting factoids. For example, readers discover that:
At the core of Tom Kean [this is Junior, mind you] is the noble ambition that through public service and the determination to turn ideas into action, one person can make a lasting difference.
Coincidently, I wrote the same thing on my college application and was ultimately admitted. I suppose that counts for something?
Sincerely,
Republicus