To: Citizens of New Jersey
Re: Your Republican candidate for the United States Senate
Trenton, I think we have a problem. As a former resident of the great state of New Jersey, I feel obliged to inform you that you're being misled. As you are undoubtedly aware, Tom Kean was the Governor of New Jersey, served honorably as Chairman of the 9/11 Commission and even has a university named after him. Frankly, he is a decent human being. He is not, however, running for the United States Senate. You see, the fellow on the right (presumably addressing his colleagues on the student council) is the Republican candidate for the U.S. Senate.
Another issue concerns Article 1, Section 3 of our Constitution, which states, in pertinent part:
No Person shall be a Senator who shall not have attained to the Age of thirty Years, and been nine Years a Citizen of the United States, and who shall not, when elected, be an Inhabitant of that State for which he shall be chosen.Of course, I am uncertain as to whether this poses a problem for Junior. His biography does not disclose a date of birth. It does, however, provide a number of interesting factoids. For example, readers discover that:
At the core of Tom Kean [this is Junior, mind you] is the noble ambition that through public service and the determination to turn ideas into action, one person can make a lasting difference.Coincidently, I wrote the same thing on my college application and was ultimately admitted. I suppose that counts for something?