Anyone who's gay knows the type. As loyal a friend as Flicka, as intimidating as Joan Crawford and worse than any of the bitches Bette Davis portrayed, the gay queen comes in all sizes, shapes and as we've learned, political ideology. He reigns supreme. No matter how smart or butch you are or no matter how big a stick you think you have, you never cross him but tread lightly because he will always--you should excuse the expression--get you in the end.
I remember one night long ago, having had a little too much to drink, I walked up to one of Pat Buchanan's "flamers" right before entering a gay bar and trying to be cute said, "No bitches allowed". You'd think this pint size queen had turned into the Incredible Hulk. He looked at me with the fiercest glare and punched my ass right into the air. I learned a good lesson that night and to paraphrase Joan Crawford it was, 'Never fuck with a queen'. Later on I sincerely apologized and being the good queen good queens generally are, he gave me a big hug and demanded I buy all his friends a round of drinks.
For all his reprehensible behavior, it's easy to assume that Mark Foley is one of the bad queens and that His Heinous is one who doesn't give a shit about anyone but himself, who goes about risking life, limb and happiness just as long as he gets what he wants and is just plain nasty through and through. For queens like these, let'm eat you-know-what is a royal decree to be lived upon. Deep down inside however there must have been a hell-of-a-battle of the royals going on. Did Foley feel so guilty about his sham life that his inner good queen decided it was time for all-out war with his inner bad queen and that the best way to solve his dilemma was to get caught hitting on the pages within his court? Sophmoric psychiatry you say. Maybe, but there's something else. Knowing full-well the character of his republican cohorts and true to all that is noble to the good queen inside him, Foley wasn't going into exile without revenge, so he disregarded all warnings from anyone who told him to lay off teenagers and continued cyber-hitting on the boys. He was right too. He could depend on Hastert to fall for the game because Foley knew that power for the GOP was more important than anything like family values. Aware that the GOP was rife with some really good queens and that the one thing a good queen is really bad at is to keep his mouth shut, eventually one of them would issue a royal decree making public to all within the land all that was hypocritical and tawdry about Foley. More Byzantine than the Nixon admisnistration, Hastert and friends would try to insure no one outside the palace knew about it. Ah, revenge is sweet for the good queen. Foley is now the most infamous homosexual in the world and enthroned where his inner good queen wanted him--out of the closet with a vengeance having put the gay bashing GOP on the edge of the worst disaster since Bette Davis in "Beyond the Forest". Having usurped all of them, the stars are truly looking down on Foley and giving him a round of applause. Joan Crawford? Who is she?