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I'm all outta Marlboros here, Fargo, and wound so tight I'm 'bout ready to bleach my hair blonde, conk my generally funny looking partner with an axe, an' stuff 'em in the wood chipper out back by the Moose Lake.

"One day soon, it will not be difficult for anyone to decide which was the greater disaster: 9/11 or this administration."  --  JR Ford, Sep 2006.

"It is unacceptable to think..." -- George W. Bush, 9/15/06.

"We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office." -- Aesop.

"When we got into office, the thing that surprised me most was to find that things were just as bad as we'd been saying they were." -- John F. Kennedy.

"It is a well-known fact that those people who must want to rule people are, ipso facto, those least suited to do it... anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job." -- Douglas Adams

Bushisms and Other Ridiculous Ideas - JR Ford

"Those who are easily shocked should be shocked more often." -- Mae West.
Maf54(11:14:32 AM): I've got MALE!

"Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a Congressman. But then I repeat myself." -- Mark Twain.

"This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer." -- Will Rogers.

"At some point, if someone is bludgeoning himself to death, sometimes the best strategy is to stand back and let him do it." -- Unknown.

"Wonder what Dick Armey would say today if asked about the Barney Fag remark on talk radio, which led to Armey losing the House Majority Leader post to Tom Delay?" -- JR Ford, Oct 2006.

"Every time we come to the conclusion that the Republican administration and Congress could not be any more stupid and greedy, they stun us. If you think about it, this is a loose definition of torture." -- JR Ford, Jul 2006.

"Ninety percent of the world are fools, and the rest of us are in danger of being contaminated." -- Horace Vandergelder, Yonkers, NY.

"The man would have sex with a cigar store Indian if he could figure out how to avoid the splinters." -- JR Ford, Oct 2004.

"Z - V - B - X - R - P - L." -- Dr. Hugo Z. Hackenbush, DVM, a.k.a. Groucho Marx, A Day at the Races.
"When the tyrant has disposed of foreign enemies by conquest or treaty, and there is nothing to fear from them, then he is always stirring up some war or other, in order that the people may require a leader." -- Plato.

"It is also in the interests of a tyrant to keep his people poor, so that they may not be able to afford the cost of protecting themselves by arms and be so occupied with their daily tasks that they have no time for rebellion." -- Aristotle.

"There is no true glory in war." -- Dwight D. Eisenhower, on the eve of D-Day.

"It is part of the general pattern of misguided policy that our country is now geared to an arms economy which was bred in an artificially induced psychosis of war hysteria and nurtured upon an incessant propaganda of fear." -- Douglas MacArthur, May 15, 1951.

"Once a government is committed to the principle of silencing the voice of opposition, it has only one way to go, and that is down the path of increasingly repressive measures, until it becomes a source of terror to all its citizens and creates a country where everyone lives in fear." -- Harry S. Truman.

"Those who make peaceful revolutions impossible will make violent revolutions inevitable." -- John F. Kennedy.

"It is not too strong a statement to declare that this is the way civilizations begin to die. None of us has the right to suppose it cannot happen here." -- Richard M. Nixon.

"A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny." -- Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

"[T]hey say there isn't any royalty in this country, but do you want me to tell you how to be king of the United States of America? Just fall through the hole in a privy and come out smelling like a rose." -- Kurt Vonnegutt.

"The Bush Administration could never mutate into a dictatorship. Dictatorships are efficient." -- JR Ford, Mar 2006.

"You say you want a revolution?" -- John Lennon.
"The imperialists see extremists everywhere. It's not that we are extremists. It's that the world is waking up. It's waking up all over. And people are standing up." -- Hugo Chavez, 20 Sept 2006.

"Ego notwithstanding, Chavez is right about one thing. The U.S. is becoming increasingly unpopular around the world, primarily for one reason: George W. Bush. His policies taste of tyranny, at home and abroad." -- JR Ford, Sep 2006.

"We are a nation victimized by ignorance resultant from media sound bites predigested for the short attention span appetite; media included." -- JR Ford, Sep 2006.

"Never was so much false arithmetic employed on any subject as that which has been employed to persuade nations that it is in their interests to go to war." -- Thomas Jefferson.

"Never has so much military and economic and diplomatic power been used so ineffectively, and if after all of this time, and all of this sacrifice, and all of this support, there is still no end in sight, then I say the time has come for the American people to turn to new leadership not tied to the mistakes and policies of the past." -- Richard M. Nixon.

"Why, after four years since 9/11/2001, when he was originally declared the target of the war on terror, is a six foot, four inch, 50-year-old, gray-haired A-rab on dialysis, who walks with a limp and tucks his beard into his gun belt, still at large and operating a video recording studio from the Flintstones' old neighborhood?" -- JR Ford, Jul 2005.

"Osama Bin Laden's intent when he attacked the WTC on 9/11/2001 was to disrupt-if not destroy-the American economy. The $3 trillion budget surplus Bush inherited back in 2001 is now an $8 trillion deficit. The rate of the deficit is still growing; so much so that we rely upon our heretofore evil enemies Communist China, and Saudi Arabia, two of the most repressive regimes on Earth--among others--to purchase billions in U.S. Treasury bonds to just keep our spend-and-don't-tax credit-card government afloat. If that isn't irony, there is none." -- JR Ford, Feb 2005.

"Ronald Reagan won the Cold war by outspending the Soviets into economic oblivion. Bin Laden is causing us to do the same thing to ourselves."  --  JR Ford, Oct 2006.

"So let me see if I've got this. Israel, India, Pakistan, North Korea and most likely Iran, have nuclear (not NUCULAR) weapons capability. 9/11 was engineered by Saudis, hiding out in Afghanistan; and we invaded Iraq? Did I get that right?" -- JR Ford, April 2003.

"There are now more Americans dead as a result of fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan than died in the attacks on September 11, 2001." -- JR Ford, Oct 2006.

"God bless our troops. Gawdamn Bush." -- JR Ford, May 2006.

"About 50% of the people in Viet Nam over the age of eleven smoke cigarettes; mostly American and French brands. Guess we won after all?" -- JR Ford, Jan 2006.

"It's the WAR, Stupid!"  --  JR Ford, Oct 2006.
"It is fortunate for the government that the people do not think." -- Adolf Hitler, Mein Kamph.

"Terrorism is the best political weapon for nothing drives people harder than a fear of sudden death." -- Adolf Hitler.

"Why of course the people don't want war ... But after all it is the leaders of the country who determine the policy, and it is always a simple matter to drag the people along, whether it is a democracy, or a fascist dictatorship, or a parliamentarian, a communist dictatorship ...
"Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is to tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger." -- Hermann Goering.

"Fascism will come to this country, and it will come disguised as Americanism." -- Huey Long.

"Fascism should rather be called corporatism, as it is the merging of government and corporate power." -- Benito Mussolini.

"A war for profit can accomplish in weeks what may take a war of ideas centuries. It just leaves a bigger mess." -- JR Ford, Sept 2005.

"Conformity is the jailer of freedom and the enemy of growth." -- John F. Kennedy.
"I'm frankly sick and tired of the political preachers across this country telling me as a citizen that if I want to be a moral person, I must believe in A, B, C, and D. Just who do they think they are? And from where do they presume to claim the right to dictate their moral beliefs to me?" -- Barry Goldwater, 1964.

"When you grow up on a farm in Georgia, your first girlfriend is a mule." -- Neal Horsley, anti-abortion activist.

"Being REBORN is equivalent to pressing CONTROL-ALT-DELETE. Unfortunately, the virus is still there." -- JR Ford, Jan 2005.

"It is interesting to note so many who wrap themselves in an altar cloth and the flag have so little respect for the concepts those items symbolize." -- JR Ford, Nov 2004.

"All too many Bush supporters think the multiplication table is where Jesus sat to hand out the loaves and fishes." -- JR Ford, Nov 2004.

"If religion were true, its followers would not try to bludgeon their young into an artificial conformity; but would merely insist on their unbending quest for truth, irrespective of artificial backgrounds or practical consequences." -- H. P. Lovecraft.

"Evolution? Science? Nah! It's all a myth. Explain to your liberal friends that Darwin and Newton were guessing." -- JR Ford, Sep 2006.

"Wouldn't the world be more interesting if theories like evolution and gravity were inapplicable to those who disbelieve them? Certainly more fun!" -- JR Ford, Aug 2006.

"Don't be fooled. The true meaning of life and for the existence of mankind is to become fossil fuel." -- JR Ford, Nov 1995.

"I believe in God. In fact, I was talking to Him just the other day. Asked Him how Bush got elected president, twice. Know what He said? -- 'Fuck if I know!'" -- JR Ford, Dec 2004.

"Rest assured that the BA's fate in the infernal regions is to be boiled for all eternity in Iraqi crude." -- JR Ford, Aug 2006.

"God and religion are two completely different concepts. God exists by virtue of the fact that man believes in Him. Religion exists by virtue of the fact that man believes he knows better than God what is best for man." -- JR Ford, Oct 2005.

"If anyone, anywhere, ever once considered the arrival of an anti-Christ, now would be the time to take another look in the back of the Bible." -- JR Ford, Oct 2005.

"If, as the Bible says, "Money is the root of all evil," why do the Republicans have most of it? And why do churches keep begging for it?" -- JR Ford, Jan 2005.

"THI$ I$ YOUR GOD!" -- John Carpenter.

"Verily I say unto you, to criticize George W. Bush is proverbially:
`Whipping a dead horse's ass.'" -- JR Ford, Dec 2005.

"On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does." -- Will Rogers.
"The 1928 Republican Convention opened with a prayer. If the Lord can see His way clear to bless the Republican Party the way it's been carrying on, then the rest of us ought to get it without even asking." -- Will Rogers.

"Cheney and Rove know that this battle is for all the marbles. If Democrats can't effectively repudiate the GOP's fear-mongering strategy of linking Iraq to national security, they can kiss 2006 -- and 2008 -- good-bye." -- Arianna Huffington.

"It won't be the war that defeats neo-conservatism in 2008. It will be $4.00 a gallon gasoline." -- JR Ford, Aug 2006.

"Once cheered as the Maraschino cherry atop a Christian conservative chocolate sundae, with his recent plummet in credibility and popularity, George W. Bush has become a tepid turd on a toothpick in middle America`s martini." -- JR Ford, Oct 2005.

"As his poll numbers continue to dwindle, George W. Bush has become the urban housewife who, upon a whim, decides to have a one time affair with the mailman. Upon his departure, the housewife is unable to locate her wedding band. After turning her apartment upside down in vain in hopes of locating the ring, she is faced with the dilemma of disassembling the plumbing drains, dumpster diving, or calling the Post Office." -- JR Ford, Feb 2006.

"It is amazing how one individual can single handedly destroy one's pride in being an American." -- JR Ford, Oct 2005.

"Nixon '08. One stiff Dick is as good as the next." -- JR Ford, Jun 2006.
"Shades of Nixon and his indelible, five o'clock shadow, only worse. At least Nixon drove in his own demolition derby. Who knows who is behind the wheel of this impending pileup?" -- JR Ford, Jan 2006.

"With a President named BUSH and a VP named DICK, who do you think wears the pants?" -- JR Ford, Dec 2001.

"If you hold George Bush up to your ear, you can hear the oil slick slapping on the contaminated beach." -- JR Ford, Jun 2006.

"Not long ago, Dick Cheney insisted that fossil fuel is still the primary source of energy in our future for decades to come. Anybody who really believes this is a fossil, and should have the drilling rights auctioned to open their aorta." -- JR Ford, Jul 2006.

"To the Vice President, Dick, is not just a nickname, it's an attitude." -- JR Ford, Jul 2006.

"Don't you just love it when George Bush starts waxing nostalgic? Kind of leaves you pining for Nixon, don't he?" -- JR Ford, Jun 2006

"Laura, honey. Whyn'tch'all set yo' cute lil red hedd'd seff right down' here'n dis here big ol' crock pot 'n' make yo'seff nahce'n comfy, whiles't Ah whip us up a big ol' batch'a dumpl'n's, Hon?" -- JR Ford, Jun 2006.

"I love Republicans. They taste like chicken!" -- JR Ford, Feb 2006.

"George W. Bush is a great and powerful leader, like a Greek hero. Even his mother admits he is the product of a Trojan casualty." -- JR Ford, Nov 2004.

"To say one hates George W. Bush is equivalent to saying one hates Rainman or Forrest Gump. I don't like him, and I don't think he knows who's on first; but he is an excellent driver and he loves his Momma.

"Momma always said: `Life is like a barrel of apples. A body can be sour or be a sweet one. Dubyah, you have to choose whether you are gonna be de vinegar or decider.'" -- JR Ford, Forrest Bush.

"Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth." -- Marcus Aurelius.

"The great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie - deliberate, contrived and dishonest - but the myth - persistent, persuasive and unrealistic." -- John F. Kennedy.

"There is no such ideal as the moral philosophy as Neo-Conservatism. It is but a perverse euphemism for the immoral discipline of Neo-Fascism." -- JR Ford, Jul 2006.

"Let our patriotism be reflected in the creation of confidence in one another, rather than in crusades of suspicion. Let us prove we think our country great, by striving to make it greater." -- John F. Kennedy, 11-18-1961

"The prideful virtue of patriotism for it's own sake is, oftentimes, an alibi for the dastardly vice of fear of the unknown." -- JR Ford, Jul 2006.

"The ignorance of one voter in a democracy impairs the security of all." -- John F. Kennedy.

"Principle is OK up to a certain point, but principle doesn't do any good if you lose." -- Dick Cheney, White House Chief of Staff, 1976.

"If not for six inches of 64-gauge platinum wire, a watch battery, and a nominal amount of integrated micro-circuitry, Dick Cheney would be worm food." -- JR Ford, Dec 2005.

"Dick Cheney's penance in the Infernal Regions will most certainly entail burning breeches." -- JR Ford, Feb 2006.

"If the media would root around in Cheney's boxers a bit, they'd find all the dirt they are looking for." -- JR Ford, Aug 2000.

"Ever notice that Dick Cheney, Ken Mehlman, and Mary Matalin all talk out of the right side of their grimace?" -- JR Ford, Feb 2006.

"Cheney, Rove, Rumsfeld, and Rice: The Four Horse Apples of the Apocalypse." -- JR Ford, Oct 2005.

"If you are going to catch a 400 pound Black Mamba, someone is going to have to crawl into the Aardvark Burrow after him." -- JR Ford, Mar 2005.

"Harry Truman said, 'The buck stops here.' George Bush palmed it." -- JR Ford, Jun 2005.

"A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad." -- Theodore Roosevelt.

"I'm the only person of distinction who has ever had a depression named for him." -- Herbert Hoover.

"When a man has failed at every endeavor he has undertaken in his life, except reproduction, and speaks English as if it were his second language, why should we expect any different when he is elected to high public office?" -- JR Ford, Feb 2006.

"I'm kind of stalling for time here... They told me what to say." -- George W Bush, Press Conference, 03-21-2006 10:00 EST.

"If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog." -- Harry Truman.

"A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way." -- Mark Twain.

"Politics, like life, is a cycle. Make hay while you can; you'll just have to shovel out the barn later." -- JR Ford, Nov 2004.

"I still have a hard time keeping Chertoff and Lugosi straight. Chertoff was the tall one with the bolts in his neck, right?" -- JR Ford, Jun 2006.

"It's a good thing tuna comes in those little cans. I can stack them inside the rolls and rolls of duct tape I've been hoarding!" -- JR Ford, Mar 2006.

"The only thing definitively Brown in the whole Katrina disaster was the seat of his briefs." -- JR Ford, Mar 2006.

"It is ridiculous to attempt to restrict the socioeconomic and climactic migration of man with an arbitrary line drawn in the sand." -- JR Ford, Sep 1994.

"Solution to illegal immigration: Deport Bush." -- JR Ford, May 2006.

"The less Bush does about healthcare, the faster socialized medicine will get here." -- JR Ford, Oct 2004.

"George H. W. Bush said in 1980 that Reaganomics was Voodoo economics. As we all know, history bears him out. Maybe that's why W plans to outsource healthcare for the poor to Haiti." -- JR Ford, Jul 2001.

"I worry little about Global Warming. The Earth has been here 4.5 billion years, doing well without our help. It can take care of itself. It's solution just may not include homo-sapiens." -- JR Ford, Aug 2005.

"Our constitution protects aliens, drunks and U.S. Senators." -- Will Rogers.
"Arlen Specter demanding a hearing is like Lil' Debbie inviting you over for tea and pound cake. Keep your napkin in your lap. He always crumbles." -- JR Ford, Jun 2006.

"If Dr. Frist were my primary provider, I'd demand a second opinion." -- JR Ford, Aug 2006.

"There ought to be one day - just one - when there is open season on senators." -- Will Rogers.

"It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly native criminal class except Congress."  --  Mark Twain.

"Somewhere between the fifth and seventh century BCE, Lao Tzu wrote: 'Trying to control the future is like trying to take the master carpenter's place. When you handle the master carpenter's tools, chances are that you'll cut your hand.' If the recent grumbling about investigations and finger pointing metastasizes into an out-and-out ulcer, we may see some arteries opened yet." -- JR Ford, Dec 2004.

"Clean sweep, Hell?! This country needs a Hoover!" -- JR Ford, Jan 2006.

"If Bush is doing such a good job on homeland security, why are only Republicans terrified?" -- JR Ford, Nov 2004.

"It's not just a vacation, it's an adventure." -- US-Iraqi Board of Tourism.

"TSR Hobbies of Wisconsin, the creators of `Dungeons & Dragons,' has announced the release of a new strategy board game called, `Operation Iraqi Freedom,' just in time for the Christmas shopping season. The game is being shipped with an insufficient number of pieces; strategy is determined randomly by a dice roll upon each player turn; the Rule Book is vague, self contradictory between subsequent chapters, and need not be followed; and no conditions for victory are defined--making `OIF' the first parlor game since Milton Bradley's 1926 release of `Monopoly' that can potentially be played ad-infinitum until one player possesses all of the assets, or until all participants are dead." -- JR Ford, Nov 2004.

"Take the diplomacy out of war and the thing would fall flat in a week." -- Will Rogers.

"The real problem in the Middle East is vice of choice. They don't drink alcohol and they don't eat pork. They eschew most pollutants to the body--all of the things we here in the West rely upon to chill out with. They do, however, drink coffee by the tanker load and smoke incessantly, when they can get them. If the US was worth it's salt, we'd clandestinely supplant all the imports of coffee and tobacco with decaf and nicotine-free, clove cigarettes." -- JR Ford, March 2003.

"Les permettre de manger du gâteau jaune." -- Déficit de Madame du Hapsburg-Lorraine, Marie Antoinette.

"Iraq: Blood for Votes."  --  JR Ford, Oct 2006.

"There is no more independence in politics than there is in jail." -- Will Rogers.

"I am not part of the problem. I am a Republican." -- Dan Quayle.

"One can only wonder how long moderate Republicans will tolerate Larry Fine and the Howard brothers riding their elephant at the head of the circus parade." -- JR Ford, Jul 2005.

"They say the president's dead, no one can find his head, it's been missin' now for weeks. But no one noticed it, he had seemed so fit. I'm sick of it. Bye, bye, bye." -- Lou Reed.

"The difference between Democrats and Republicans: When a Democratic president leaves office, his staff and cabinet members become lobbyists. When a Republican president leaves office, they become inmates." -- JR Ford. Nov 2000.

"If a Bush-alike president is elected in 2008, no doubt the inaugural parade will be marched in goose step with missiles and howitzers in tow." -- JR Ford, Dec 2004.

"The problem with Republican voters is that they prefer a candidate who feeds them platitudes and inane generalized slogans and demonization of the Democrats. They don't care what the guy does, as long as he says what they want to hear." -- JR Ford, Nov 2000.

"Although it inherently retains all the flexibility, malleability, and stretch-ability of Silly Putty, a Texas Cowpie is still a turd." -- JR Ford, Nov 2005.

"George W. Bush will go down in history as the 2nd best president in history, right after Millard Fillmore, the 13th President, whose GREATEST achievement was to install a CRAPPER in the White House." -- JR Ford, Oct 2004.
"Don't you just love it when George Bush starts waxing nostalgic? Kind of leaves you pining for Nixon, don't he?" -- JR Ford, Jun 2006.

"If you hold George Bush up to your ear, you can hear the oil slick slapping on the contaminated beach." -- JR Ford, Jun 2006.

"Not long ago, Dick Cheney that insisted fossil fuel is still the primary source of energy in our future for decades to come. Anybody who really believes this is a fossil, and should have the drilling rights auctioned to open their aorta." -- JR Ford, Jul 2006.

"To the Vice President, Dick, is not just a nickname, it's an attitude." -- JR Ford, Jul 2006.

"Laura, honey. Whyn'tch'all set yo' cute lil red hedd'd seff right down' here'n dis here big ol' crock pot 'n' make yo'seff nahce'n comfy, whiles't Ah whip us up a big ol' batch'a dumpl'n's, Hon?" -- JR Ford, Jun 2006.

"I love Republicans. They taste like chicken!" -- JR Ford, Feb 2006.

"There is nothing so stupid as the educated man if you get him off the thing he was educated in." -- Will Rogers.

"Those presidents who left office with a negative legacy--U.S. Grant for his drinking, Herbert Hoover for the Crash of 1929, Richard Nixon for Watergate--have all had at least one redeeming factor left on their behalf which most people have to try to remember--Grant for his drinking, Hoover for the Dam, and 'Only Nixon could go to China.'

"George W. Bush, too, will leave office as one of those historical punch lines. His one redeeming factor will be the initiation of the word 'NUCULAR' into the Oxford-English dictionary. Quite an achievement considering the last un-word that became one due to chronic, over-misuse by an American was, 'DOH!'" -- JR Ford, Jun 2005.

"Things in our country run in spite of government, not by aid of it." -- Will Rogers.
"That lost CD? You know the one with the 26 million veterans and 2 million active duty personnel's names and personal records? It wasn't lost. It was misfiled between Debbie does Dallas and Dubyah does DC." -- JR Ford, Jun 2006.

"We don't seem to be able to check crime, so why not legalize it and then tax it out of business?" -- Will Rogers.

"As much as the Republican party hates trial lawyers, they sure are giving them plenty of practice." -- JR Ford, Oct 2005.

"The FBI says our Nation's Capitol has the highest crime rate in the country; and that doesn't even count the White House." -- JR Ford, Oct 2005.

"Psychiatric statistics indicate that one person in seven is either unconscionable, sociopathic, and/or born into crime and/or moral poverty. This percentage seems to hold true for Congress, more or less." -- JR Ford, May 2006.

"Voters quickly forget what a man says." -- Richard M. Nixon.

"The only time the Bush administration makes an assertive statement or responds to a question with a concrete answer is when they are lying." -- JR Ford, Apr 2006.

"Does this administration ever tell the truth? Jeez-hus Keee-riest! They probably even lie in their prayers." -- JR Ford, Jan 2006.

"Ever notice that `Dick Cheney' is a complete sentence?" -- JR Ford, Mar 2006.

"May the Vice President slam his Christian nickname in the tailgate of his Hummer." -- JR Ford, Mar 2006.

"I`d like to propose renaming the White House to the Krusty Krab, at least until SpongeBob and Squidward surrender occupancy." -- JR Ford, Mar 2006.

"You can build a suicide car bomb by locking Dick Cheney in a Hummer with a Reuben sandwich and a Zippo." -- JR Ford, Nov 2005.

"Abort Bush, deport Bush, wrap him in a burning flag, let your sister marry his daughter, scrape the little yellow ribbon decal off his rear window with an X-Acto... What-fucking-ever!" -- JR Ford, Aug 2006.

"Cooperation must be agreed upon, or it will forced upon us." -- JR Ford, Nov 2005.
"One cannot intelligently contradict an adversary unless you know how they think--or how they don`t." -- JR Ford, Nov 2005.

"The Founding Fathers knew a government can't control the economy without controlling people. And they knew when a government sets out to do that, it must use force and coercion to achieve its purpose. So we have come to a time for choosing." -- Ronald Reagan, October 27, 1964.

"Oftentimes, thinking people who ascend to affluence descend to Republican." -- JR Ford, Oct 2000.

"The internet is the opiate of the 21st Century. What you hear and read is best viewed through rose colored glasses." -- JR Ford, Nov 2005.

"The American people should be made aware of the trend toward monopolization of the great public information vehicles and the concentration of more and more power over public opinion in fewer and fewer hands." -- Spiro T. Agnew.

"Well, if you can't believe what you read in a comic book, what can you believe?!" -- Bullwinkle J. Moose.

"All animals are equal. Some animals are more equal." -- George Orwell, Animal Farm.

"All I remember of my wedding day in 1967 is that the Cubs lost a double header." -- George F. Will.

"So remember: When you vote Democratic, you're saying NO to mindless patriotism." --, Aug 2006.

"The only way to reduce the number of nuclear weapons is to use them." -- Rush Limbaugh.

"Jeez-hus Kee-riest! The line for Limbaughtomies is longer than the one for funnel-cakes!" -- JR Ford, Jan 2005.

"FOX, the most powerful name in news--in decibels anyway." -- JR Ford, Mar 2006.

"Dissent is the highest form of patriotism." -- Thomas Jefferson.

"One person can make a difference and every person should try." -- John F. Kennedy.

"The radical of one century is the conservative of the next. The radical invents the views. When he has worn them out, the conservative adopts them. " -- Mark Twain.

"What will we do after we tear down the establishment? Groove on the rubble for while." -- Jerry Rubin.

"To announce that there must be no criticism of the president, or that we are to stand by the president right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public." -- Theodore Roosevelt
"Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell someone you are, you aren't." -- Margaret Thatcher.

"When you are going to a gunfight, take all of your guns." -- Colin Powell, 1991.

"Buy Guns and Vote. They may be our only freedoms left." -- JR Ford, Nov 2004.

"I may have many faults, but being wrong ain't one of them." -- Jimmy Hoffa.

JR Ford
UP (Unsubstantiated Press)
St. Petersburg, Fl.
Bushisms and Other Ridiculous Ideas

"I was born during the Cold War. To me, crossing the line means above the 38th parallel." -- JR Ford, Jul 2006.

"I often quote myself. It adds spice to my conversation." -- George Bernard Shaw.

Originally posted to JR Ford on Thu Oct 12, 2006 at 06:04 AM PDT.

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Comment Preferences

  •  Whoa (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Cato come back

    This should be required reading.


    The religious fanatics didn't buy the republican party because it was virtuous, they bought it because it was for sale

    by nupstateny on Thu Oct 12, 2006 at 06:20:05 AM PDT

  •  Great job! (0+ / 0-)

    All of those quotes in one place!  I'm putting this on my 'hotlist' so I can come back and grab some later!

  •  There is no bottom to this administration (0+ / 0-)

    and you'll get nothing and like it!

  •  Great compilation (0+ / 0-)

    And no, there doesn't seem to be a low point anywhere in sight, which is pretty damn scary considering where we find ourselves.

    The cause of America is in a great measure the cause of all mankind. - Thomas Paine

    by javelina on Thu Oct 12, 2006 at 07:12:46 AM PDT

  •  Are Americans as Stupid as repubs Think? (0+ / 0-)

    For over six years, the American people have been duped, conned, deceived, flimflammed, manipulated and Snowed. If they continue to believe the republican spin machine’s deceptions, falsehoods, evasions, misstatements, myths, fish stories, fictions and vilifications of opponents—they have only themselves to blame.  

    I guess we'll find out how stupid the majority of Americans are on November 7. I'm really hoping that enough people have finally wised up to stop the destruction of our democracy.  

  •  The bushboozled (0+ / 0-)

    Thanx for your excellent articulation of this misadministration's FOLEY's...

    The bush dyslexicon comprises approximately 15 words, four of which are "duh," and "It's hard work."

    "I am mindful of the differences beteween the executive branch & the legislative branch.  I assured all four of these leaders that I know the difference, and that difference is they pass the laws and I execute them."  GW bush 12/18/2002

    "Over the long term, the most effective way to conserve energy is by using energy more efficiently."  GW bush 5/12/2001

    "They expect government to control Social Security as if its a federal program." GW bush 11/18/2003.

    "Well, I think if you're going to do something and don't do it, that's trustworthiness."  GW bush 8/30/2000

    "It is not Reaganesque to support a tax plan that is Clinton in nature." GW bush 2/23/2000

    "I'm also not very analytical.  You know I don't spend a lot of time thinking about myself, about why I do things."  GW bush 6/4/2003

    "This foreign policy stuff is a little frustrating." GW bush 4/23/2002

    "I'm the master of low expectations." GW bush 6/4/2003

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