Why don't you just get some help?

Clarity is a beautiful thing.  The difference in our two main political parties could not be more certain.  

Jump for more......

While the religious right pharmacist insists on violating his ethical oath to his patients by refusing birth control to women, the liberals fight for the rights of women to have choice over their own reproductive decisions.
While the Republican Party misleads the public about the benefit of Social Security privatization,(you will have more control over your money) the Democratic party reminds us that it's already our money we have paid in and that we should get in return if the government had not dipped in it when it never should have been touched it in the first place.
Repugs want privatization for one reason: to make the corporation network even stronger.  The Dems know this will only make it worse for the average Joe.
It's clear the Republicans are for big money & big corporations and the Dems are for the Citizen of the US of A.
There are many of our fellow Americans who are suffering everyday and the Democratic Party has always been the ones looking out for them, creating more human service networks, working to pass laws favoring the less fortunate.....etc.....
Even with all that hard work, there are still those not getting help.......

So, what are those barriers that are keeping people from getting help?

1.  Money- there is just not enough allocated for human services.  

According to the website: http://www.globalissues.org/

The United States, being the most formidable military power, it is worth looking at their spending.

The U.S. military budget request by the Bush Administration for Fiscal Year 2007 is $462.7 billion. (This includes the Defense Department budget, funding for the Department of Energy (which includes nuclear weapons) and "other" which the source does not define. It does not include other items such as money for the Afghan and Iraq wars--$50 billion for Fiscal Year 2007 and an extra $70 billion for FY 2006, on top of the $50 billion approved by Congress.)

For Fiscal Year 2006 it was $441.6 billion
For Fiscal Year 2005 it was $420.7 billion
For Fiscal Year 2004 it was $399.1 billion .
For Fiscal Year 2003 it was $396.1 billion.
For Fiscal Year 2002 it was $343.2 billion.
For Fiscal Year 2001 it was $305 billion. And Congress had increased that budget request to $310 billion.
This was up from approximately $288.8 billion, in 2000.
These figures typically do not include combat figures, so 2001 onwards, the Afghan war, and 2003 onwards, the Iraq war costs are not in this budget. As of early 2006, Congress had already approved an additional funding total of $300 billion for operations in Iraq and Afghanistan.

As Chris Hellman, researcher of many of these statistics, also notes, when adjusted for inflation the request for 2007 together with that needed for nuclear weapons the 2007 spending request exceeds the average amount spent by the Pentagon during the Cold War, for a military that is one-third smaller than it was just over a decade ago.

Compared to the rest of the world, these numbers are indeed staggering.

Spending on human services in the US: I had a difficult time finding the exact data on this as it's mixed in with health and homeland security.

Many times, human services are too costly for some individuals.  Even the agencies that offer free services have had their own budgets cut so there is a lack of adequate coverage for all who need it. http://www.cbpp.org/...

2. Fear of being Judged, Labeled or Punished
Face it--sometimes people get labeled!!  What a surprise!  Imagine needing to be tested for AIDS and fearing your employer will find out from your medical insurance.  What if it comes back positive?  Will I be fired?   What about needing food stamps?  If I ask for them, will I be called lazy?

3.  Shame  Many people believe that if they are unable to solve their own problems, there is something very wrong with them.  
Many families have always taken care of their own for many generations and to ask for help is humiliating.

4.  Deny the Gravity of the Problem  Denial is more than a river in Egypt and many time people are unable to see just how bad their situation has progressed.  This happens with battered spouses and drug & alcohol abuse.  Sometimes, it doesn't seem as bad as the person down the street, so the sense of urgency isn't there.

5.  Suspicion or Distrust in workers or agencies
Many people have had or have heard of bad experiences with agencies, so asking for their help seems like a bad idea.  Or, there is a fear of what might happen if they do ask for help as with a parent who is overwhelmed from working 2 or 3 jobs and is taking it out on her children.  If I ask for help, will they take my kids away?  Or what if I need a mental evaluation, will they lock me up and throw away the key?

The answers are not easy in solving these issues, but education is pertinent if we are to help more people.  More money is needed to do this and only the Democrats are doing anything of significance to keep these services up and running.
It's easy to judge others who don't seek help for what they need and I hope I have touched on a small portion here as to why. " Why don't you just get some help?" isn't always the simple question it may seem.

•  It's late, so I hope this gets read.....

  thanks for reading.

  by DeannaHawk on Wed Oct 18, 2006 at 08:24:19 PM PDT

•  Corollary to #1...

  Corollary to #1: Ain't There No More

  While there used to be a government source of help in many areas of need, in many cases that help is simply not there any more. And despite the claim that "the market will provide" or "faith-based groups will fill the gap", those platitudes have simply not been borne-out by reality.

  The Repub Congress began eroding the safety net in 94, as soon as it was seated. It has not let up, not for an instance. It is no longer a net. It hasn't been for several years now.

  by luckydog on Wed Oct 18, 2006 at 08:38:32 PM PDT

  •  Exactly.....

    and they have done a bang-up job marginalizing people in need of human services.  

    by DeannaHawk on Wed Oct 18, 2006 at 08:41:50 PM PDT

•  Hi honey

  I wondered why you were so quiet in the other room tonight.
  You little blogger you. ;)  Probably the absolute best thing I've seen that lays out the enormity of expense for military versus expenditures for everything else is the Ben and Jerry video where he uses oreo cookies to represent dollar amounts. The visuals are staggering. Talking about trillions of dollars has no real meaning to most people because the numbers are so huge we have no personal reference to go by, but anyone can see the difference between 1 cookie with a bite out of it, and a stack of cookies 40 feet tall. Good onya for writing dear.

  by FireCrow on Wed Oct 18, 2006 at 08:41:19 PM PDT

•  Very nice job, Deanna.............

  Well written and you make great points on the subtle reasons that people use for fear of labeling.  You are studying in an area that puts you in contact with those reasons which helps us all understand them better.

  It's easy to judge others who don't seek help for what they need

  Thank you, Deanna, for writing about this.  Fear seems to be such an entrenched attitude.  I hope with a change of government we can do something about re-establishing the premise that asking for help is not something to be feared.  

  by Cronesense on Wed Oct 18, 2006 at 08:42:13 PM PDT

  •  I have that hope also.....

    there has been so much damage caused in this area that it will take some time, but we need to get a DEM Congress to even think about anything changing.
    Thanks Cronesense--that means alot coming from you.
    peace.

    by DeannaHawk on Wed Oct 18, 2006 at 08:46:20 PM PDT

•   #3. Shame

  The religious right takes this even further.  People that are impoverished, down on their luck are basically immoral.  I can barely get my brain around that concept but that is what they believe.  It is not the government's responsibility to help them out....
  

  by cosette on Wed Oct 18, 2006 at 08:43:46 PM PDT

  •  They are obviously

    unfamiliar with what Jesus taught and preached, however much they would like to believe -- and preach -- otherwise.

    by noweasels on Wed Oct 18, 2006 at 10:17:52 PM PDT

•  Thanks for this DeannaHawk

  As this decade progresses, we will see more and more people falling through the widening crack in the economy. I appreciate your shining a light on this aspect of the problem.

  I had medi-cal and food stamps for a very short period of time when my daughter was a toddler. I was a single mom making a whopping $2 something an hour. What I had to go through to get those 'entitlements' was excruciating for me. As soon as I could see my way OFF I did. Even then (the 70's) it was not a 'friendly' experience. I'm sure that now it's really grim.

  by Mary Mike on Wed Oct 18, 2006 at 08:44:38 PM PDT

  •  Thanks MaryMike

    and that's another misconception of the welfare system---most people who need it stay on it for an average of 18 months.
    The Repugs would have everyone believing the average person is on it generation after generation, and it's simply not true.  Repug lie #759

    by DeannaHawk on Wed Oct 18, 2006 at 08:51:14 PM PDT

•  thanks, Deanna...

  I have a diary embedded in my comment I'm about to make, but I'm not in my head enough to write it tonight. So I'll abbreviate it for now, if you'll bear with me.

  I haven't had health coverage for around three years. I dropped my COBRA coverage when the premium was over $700/month and I was bringing home around $4000 net a month. That sounds like an okay monthly income, but in Seattle, I was paying out 40% of that in rent, plus utilities, plus car payment, plus kids school items, plus uncovered med costs, plus everything else like past bills from a divorce. So, no money for health insurance, even though my daughter and I both have a chronic autoimmune disease (hypothyroidism and anemia).

  I ended a year contract at the end of August and have yet to find a replacement job. I ran out of money completely three weeks ago and had to move. I haven't paid any bill of any size for around 6 weeks.  I've adopted out two of my wonderful eskie dogs (to a good, good home that we can still visit. Yet, I'm heartbroken). I've been off my fairly high synthroid dosage, as has my daughter, for around 4 weeks, and five days ago I went into a severe exhaustion, muscle fatigue and symptoms of bradycardia. Bad me.

  Since my physician can no longer see me until I clear up my $2000 bill, I went to the Public Health clinic to see if I could get an appointment so that both us (my daughter and I) can get back on meds quickly. It's amazing how much this has disabled me. and I've been stupid for letting it go so long. But, moving and looking for a job, and just in general, racing around to sell things to buy gas for the car and food, and trying to keep some normalcy in my daughter's life - well, you know.

  Public health is not taking any new patients now until November and they aren't booking any appointments until after October 23rd.  My only other recourse is Urgent Care or the ER at one of five hospitals. So tomorrow, I'll head out to the ER. I anticipate a wait of four hours or more, the usual questions of no pay, no job. I don't know how soon I can get meds prescribed, but I know it can't wait much longer before I'll be completely disabled. I was so fuzzy-headed and faint yesterday that I shouldn't have been driving.  When I got home late yesterday, I think I fell asleep unconscious on my bed for three hours and I didn't even realize it.

  The gentleman at Public Health gave me a DSHS form to fill out for Medicaid, as he said it would be shorter to get and easier than the Washington state basic health coverage.

  My brain is having a hard time dealing with this. I've never been unemployed, have fallen so far so fast. There are thousands, millions of us in this country who stand at these crossroads.  

  Yes. I've had every chance, taken every opportunity (as much as a single mother of three can, I think) to get ahead, to receive a good education (Master's degree, etc.). I should be helping out, not getting help.  I have helped out in the past to the tune of thousands of dollars and hours of volunteer work. Now I can no longer contribute in this manner and it breaks my heart and a bit of my soul.

  My brain is having a hard time with this. My heart knows I need to take care of myself and my children.

  Our world. Guess I didn't abbreviate. My apologies.

  by exmearden on Wed Oct 18, 2006 at 09:46:42 PM PDT

  •  exmearden

    You are in my prayers.  This is simply NOT right.  Your diaries and writing have inspired me so much.  Please let me know (my e-mail address is noweasels at gmail dot com) if there is anything I can do.  I have been in dire straights, but I had a familial safety net.  It would do my heart good to do something for you to thank you for the beautiful diaries you have written.  Please let me know.  No need to apologize, dear. I admire you so much.

    ~ with much love, noweasels

    by noweasels on Wed Oct 18, 2006 at 10:04:42 PM PDT

    •  thank you, noweasels...as you have inspired me.

      Like this diary that Deanna has constructed, I wanted to make a point, of course. Not really to curry help from others. And that is her point.

      It's so hard to ask for help. When I have, I walk away feeling ashamed, because I've always seen myself as one who can do. And yet, I've not done, really, for a long time now. I've let things slide that if I were healthy (I realize that at some level finally, my mental health has been severely impacted by my physical health. But I move too fast usually through the day, to pay close attention to that critical fact.).  

      I am in so deep financially that I truly don't think I'll dig out of this one. Not sure where that leaves me. A couple of years ago, I had great confidence in my skills, experience, ability, demeanor. Now, due to how I feel on a physical basis daily, I have lost total confidence. They weren't kidding when they said, "your health is everything."

      The scariest thing is that lack of a safety net.  That familial safety net. I was born at such a stage in my parents life and they are both gone, of course,as you know from my previous diaries. My other siblings are either on the skids on limited income or they have commitments to their own lives that are more important than any commitment to me and I completely understand that. I've asked for too much from them over the years anyway.

      I also have no safety net I can provide to my own kids and that is truly depressing. Of all the things I regret, this is what I regret the most - that I can't be the parent I want to be and should be at a time when I am needed.

      Deanna's question, "'Why don't you just get some help?' isn't always the simple question it may seem," - this is indeed the core of my dilemma.

      Thank you so much for reading and for your support.

      I do have a goal. I hope to be able to get to a point where I can afford to travel to Yearlykos next summer. It's something to work for that takes me a bit outside of everything else. I think it's a good goal, eh?  We'll see.

      by exmearden on Wed Oct 18, 2006 at 11:08:46 PM PDT

      •  I look forward to this....

        I hope to be able to get to a point where I can afford to travel to Yearlykos next summer.

        I hope this works out for you, as Firecrow & I would enjoy spending some time with you.  We have that goal also.

        by DeannaHawk on Thu Oct 19, 2006 at 06:00:24 AM PDT

  •  exmearden......

    I am very grateful you chose to share this during a time that is very difficult for you.  Thank you so much.
    Please know I will be thinking about you and your daughter tomorrow and when you are feeling up to it---it would wonderful to read that extended diary; your story is an important one & needs to be told.

    Peace.

    by DeannaHawk on Wed Oct 18, 2006 at 10:08:57 PM PDT

    •  tonight's a good night...

      I've actually been upright and coherent for most of the afternoon and day and my brain seems to be working for now.

      Thank you so much.  I'll write that diary after my excursion to the ER tomorrow, I suspect. The last time I was in an ER was with my mom and it was not good, so it will be an illuminating experience to say the least...;>) Sorry to have written so much in yours tonight!

      by exmearden on Wed Oct 18, 2006 at 11:11:39 PM PDT

      •  yooohooo

        Hey ex, if you could stop apologizing that would be a good start.
        You are amongst good buddies here. I'll look for your diary later.
        Peace and good luck there at the ER.

        by FireCrow on Thu Oct 19, 2006 at 03:59:40 AM PDT

  •  jesus ex

    I didn't know things had gotten that fucked up for you. It's scary how fast it can happen. I'm not sure about the condition you and your daughter have but it seems imperative that you two get meds no?
    Fuck feeling bad about not being able to help others right now, you already racked up plenty of good karma. You take care of yourself dear.
    We live along the Wisc. IL border near OrangeCloud so we are a long way away but if theres anything we can do to help please ask. If you were nearby I'd tell you to come stay with us for awhile.
    There is no shame in asking for help ex.

    by FireCrow on Wed Oct 18, 2006 at 10:21:10 PM PDT

    •  Firecrow...

      thanks so much and I'm proud and fond of both of you.
      Both my daughter and I are hypothyroid - meaning that our thyroids do not put out hormone or enough of it. In my case, profound. No metabolism. Affects an amazing amount of mental and physical aspects of life, especially if one is careless and doesn't keep on the medication, synthroid, which has to be taken for life once it's started (except in rare gestational cases when a woman is pregnant).

      For me, it contributes to some pretty severe anemia, extreme muscle fatigue, too-slow heartrate, which in return means my body doesn't get enough oxygen and my muscles and even my brain, I think, get really weak.  My vision gets fuzzy, my speech slurred, and I get extremely cold. Plus I gain weight rapidly without increasing caloric intake much. Nasty side effect. The fatigue is like chronic fatigue syndrome and I just shut down. Especially irritating to one like me, as I am usually constantly on the go. I exhibit signs of Attention Deficit Disorder and forget and lose focus. Inevitably it's pretty destructive to someone who's trying to find a job - ack.  I know all this and still I didn't take steps to remedy weeks ago to stay on top of it. Sigh.

      See my comment to noweasels. Thank you again and perhaps I'll see you someday at Yearlykos...;>)

      ga li `e li `ga (I'm thankful).

      by exmearden on Wed Oct 18, 2006 at 11:30:58 PM PDT

•  This is SO true

  Many families have always taken care of their own for many generations and to ask for help is humiliating.

  I've seen diaries and comments from Kossacks who are facing trouble (through no fault of their own) who say they are ashamed to ask for help, or feel bad, because, as a result of the brainwashing committed by the ruling class of this increasingly selfish country, they have become convinced that to need or ask for help is somehow to be guilty of "gaming" the system.  WRONG.  

  Like the families you talk about, DeannaHawk, most of these people have paid into the system for years, gratefully, and with the hope that they will never need to call upon it.  But that's what it is (or was) supposed to be there for.  We contribute (I do so gratefully) to make sure that it exists; some of us (many of us here) believe strongly in the concept of a country that takes pride in helping its own. God knows we should -- as the richest country in the history of the universe. We should take care of our own. We should shoulder the burden of hunger and disease throughout the world. But we do not.

  And here, among us, we hope we will never have to rely on the system.  We hope we will be able to take care of our families ourselves.  But life sometimes deals unexpected blows.  (I, for one, as a result of a series of bad decisions, have been in a situation of such financial straits that, were it not for the generosity and wherewithal of my kind parents, could temporarily have landed me in the streets. And I cannot imagine what it would have been like trying to put the pieces back together without a roof over my head, without that great love and support I knew I could count on as much as my back pocket.  And, I should add, I found myself in this situation despite having had EVERY ADVANTAGE anyone could ask for, including a fantastic education and a professional degree from a prestigious national university and a great resume.  It can happen to anyone.) And so we pray for those for whom our so-called safety net was set up -- that better days will come.  And we pray (and I do) that the net will protect them from the hardest falls until then.

  And, unlike the Republicans, we do not BLAME people for needing help, we do not CASTIGATE them for having to ask for a little bit back of what they have given to others. It seems to me that the richer the richest become, the stingier and more meanspirited they become.  I truly wonder how they sleep at night, how they face themselves in their $16,000 bathroom mirrors in the morning.  How they think it is appropriate to fight over $400 million severance packages and sponsor $350,000 Sweet Sixteen birthday parties for their children.  What causes them to think this is the best use of our national wealth, our luck, our great fortune, of theirs? Where did this idea get started that having too much money was a good thing and that falling on bad times because of the rotten behavior by those who have too much, or a simple string of bad luck, was a sign of character deficiency?  I pray that this is not the future, reflected in small and soon to be reflected in large.  I like to think that we are better than that.

  I thank you so much for this excellent diary.

  by noweasels on Wed Oct 18, 2006 at 09:57:12 PM PDT

  •  thank you noweasels....

    long before I met Firecrow, I was starting college(pre-med) and just gotten married.  I got pregnant and my ex-husband was not amused and left when I was 8 months along.  So, no medical degree and if it were not for my parents, I would have been homeless.  It was humiliating and devastating and asking for help was very difficult for me.
    I don't have that medical degree today, but I have a good life despite living paycheck to paycheck and I think I am happier than what I would have been had my live progressed how I thought it was going to.

    by DeannaHawk on Wed Oct 18, 2006 at 10:22:05 PM PDT

    •  Never one to pass up an opportunity

      your ex was an idiot. Walking clusterfuck. Dumb as a stick.
      It's all good though cuz I get to be your spouse now. :)

      by FireCrow on Wed Oct 18, 2006 at 10:24:31 PM PDT

      •  And lucky you, heh?

        Very nice, FireCrow.  How wonderful to see such a happy married couple.  Love to you both.

        by noweasels on Wed Oct 18, 2006 at 10:33:46 PM PDT

    •  I am so glad

      that you and FireCrow are so happy (as is so evident) and the you both lead such inspiring lives.  You both inspire me!  My bad days were as a result of a difficult marital situation, which I am so glad to be out of -- but I had SO MANY advantages that most people don't have and I was still in a mess.  I am grateful for the good fortune I've had, so grateful, and I just do not understand the mindset of those much more fortunate that I (hey, I'd love to have $400 million -- but if I did, it would be gone tomorrow, with my blessings, to so many worthy groups and causes . . . I would NOT be building a private runway or something).  I do NOT understand those people.  I DO understand people like you and FireCrow and I am plotting a way to meet you both and Chuck, because you both are so special to me. Thank you again for this amazing diary.  I hope everyone reads it.

      by noweasels on Wed Oct 18, 2006 at 10:29:47 PM PDT

      •  I am going to turn in now......

        but I wanted to say I understand about choosing the wrong guy.
        In that pain came some good things and I am hoping you will be able to extract some positive from your painful time.

        You are a pretty special person yourself noweasels and to meet you would awesome----Madison too.   :)  nite.

        by DeannaHawk on Wed Oct 18, 2006 at 10:46:19 PM PDT

        •  Sweet dreams, DeannaHawk

          and a song for you, that has always meant so much to me

          Thank you so much.  From me, and the rickety Madison the German shepherd asleep at my feet.

          by noweasels on Wed Oct 18, 2006 at 10:55:34 PM PDT

•  This is a beautiful and important diary

  DeannaHawk. Thank you so much for writing it.

  by noweasels on Wed Oct 18, 2006 at 10:20:29 PM PDT

  •  As the Repugs continue to dominate.....

    more & more families are just 2, 3 maybe 4 paychecks from homelessness.
    This is just WRONG!  Did they really think we would buy Reagan's "trickle-down" theory?  What a horrible joke.  How can any of them look  in the mirror in the morning?
    Sharing your abundance has always been a part of many Indian tribes.  To have more than those around you and not share is very frowned upon.  What a wonderful way to live.

    by DeannaHawk on Wed Oct 18, 2006 at 10:36:31 PM PDT

    •  Agreed, DeannaHawk

      My grandmother (from Wisconsin) was always very secretive about her family history on her mother's side (she was a devout -- there's no other word to describe it -- Republican) ... more and more evidence that I've been gathering suggests that I am lucky enough to count Native Americans in my past (which would explain my strange eye color) -- I'm still looking.  But I agree with the idea that to have more than those around you should be cause for shame.  And I thank you for this wonderful diary and wish you sweet dreams, so deserved.

      by noweasels on Wed Oct 18, 2006 at 11:00:37 PM PDT

      •  My relatives are from...

        northern Wisconsin--and I had a great gradmother who refused to talk about our Ojibwe heritage---she dealt with alot of racism and when she married my French-Canadian great-grandfather, she stepped away from that culture.  There is so much I don't know.
        Hey, maybe we are related!   :)

        by DeannaHawk on Thu Oct 19, 2006 at 06:09:13 AM PDT

•  Great diary

  Hope you do portion of it, or variation on it, again.

  Sophisticated stuff here.

  Thank you.

  by AllisonInSeattle on Thu Oct 19, 2006 at 11:32:22 AM PDT

  •  Thanks Allison!

    I plan on adding more sometime.  :)

    by DeannaHawk on Thu Oct 19, 2006 at 12:06:05 PM PDT

    •  Great! n/t

      by AllisonInSeattle on Fri Oct 20, 2006 at 10:06:21 PM PDT