Today we gave the Worst President Ever the sole authority to determine what is and is not "torture," so as to provide guidance and clarity to Our Nation's Interrogators. He hasn't made his final decisions yet, but we are assured that the White House will have something for us by
tomorrow. According to Tony Snow:
"The White House Office of Legal Counsel is actually putting together a paper so that -- I knew that this would come up. What they will do is help me describe to you, as accurately as possible. It's a very complex series of issues, but there are definitions that outline what constitutes torture, and I will be happy to share those. And I'll get them for you tomorrow."
Boy, can't wait to read that one:
Henceforth, no more than two electrodes may be attached to a probable evildoer's genitals during any one interrogation because the President has decided that any more would shock the conscience as well as the balls.
I don't anticipate any problems here. After all, this is the Compassionate Conservative we're talking about here. Of course, it's also a guy who
mocked the final pleas of prisoners on death row when he was Governor of Texas...