We've won the Senate, but with a margin that puts us at the mercy of a bitter, vengeful, pissed-off Joe Lieberman. Given his history as a drama queen, he'll make sure that we know: It's All About Him.
How should we approach this unstable, self-pitying, narcissistic dweeb? The answer is coded into our DNA, whether we're nerds or football heroes:
NOOGIES!! And wedgies, swirlies, and swooshies!! All Democratic Senators must promise to tackle the Lieberdweeb in the Capitol corridors, surround him and noogie off what hair he has left. Then, grab inside his pants for the elastic of his briefs (he's not a boxer guy) and hang him from the nearest door closer. If he's got a briefcase, steal it and hide it behind the radiator! Endless fun will ensue!! If it doesn't work, drag him to the boys' room!!!
Respect? Never! He craves abuse, and we should give him all we can.