So, the Democrats have won. Very soon they will be swearing themselves in, leading the new congress. Of course, all of the prodictions of our glorious and fearless leaders will come true. I, for one, have been having gay sex with my dog while smoking joints I roll from pages torn out of a bible since last night's returns came in.
Of course, not all day. I mean, I need some rest time because I have so much else to do. First of all, I let the terrorists win. That took a while and it was hard, but I think that it will help when I let the seventeen million Mexicans cross the border and give them every factory job in the country at $30/hour.
Now what I am really looking forward to is more taxes! Being a Democratic congress of course, taxes will go up by 10 million percent, especially for Christians.
That's another thing. I'm cancelling Christmas this year since we won the war against it. No trees. Take the lights down. If I see one kid get a present, it better be for Channukah or Kwanzaa which you will now all be forced to celebrate since we Democrats make diversity the law as long as it isn't white diversity, right?
Oh don't think you're going to stop me with your guns. I'm coming over tonight to take them all away and there will be nothing you can do to stop me! You keep this up and we'll bring all those troops home from Iraq. You wouldn't like that, would you, because that would mean they wouldn't have Democracy over there anymore like they do now.
That's right. We've won. It's all over. EVIL HAS TRIUMPHED! MUAHAHAHAHAHA! Now excuse me, I have to go abort the fetus of a 12-year-old girl who lost her virginity for the first time after I gave her a condom.