The REALEST reason Ford lost. The DEFINITIVE diary.

By now, you've probably read this diary, which faults Ford for abandoning the left in his unsuccessful campaign. Then, you've probably read this diary, this diary, and this diary, all of which respond to the first diary and cite their own reasons why Ford lost.

To all those diaries, I say, "bullshit." None of you have any idea what you're talking about. I, on the other hand, do know what I'm talking about. In my time at Daily Kos, I've been widely acknowledged as perhaps the most astute political observer on this entire website (for example, see this comment). So trust ME when I say that I've studied the Tennessee Senate race extensively and can definitely state the reason why Ford lost. It was not because he ran too far to the right, or because of the RNC ad, or because of Republicans outnumber Democrats in Tennessee.

And for everyone who thinks there were "multiple" factors why he lost, I say grow a pair. It's easy to say "any number of factors caused the loss"--that's the coward's way out, as the great Danny Bubp might say.

The real reason Ford lost was because he had sex with a German Shepherd. No, seriously. He gave the bone to an 80-lb., two-year-old German Shepherd named Mitsy. It happened on the campaign trail, on a stop on the way to Murfreesbro. Now, Ford's staff claimed that the Shepherd totally wanted it, but that's just blaming the victim. I was frankly disgusted by the sight of seeing this political scion humping away at a slightly stunned canine, grunting and sweating as his panicked advisors begged him to get back on the campaign bus.

But sadly, it was too late. Word reached the media and, of course, Corker's campaign. Within hours, it was the biggest story in the state. Rumors even spread that Mitsy was pregnant. After that, Ford spent the rest of the campaign on the defensive, and Corker took a permanent lead in the polls.

Anyone who tells you otherwise is a liar and a fool who knows nothing about Tennessee politics. For some reason, this story got zero attention, even though I previously commented about it on this site, and even included pictures.

So there's the whole story, folks. Discuss.

•  (At least I hope it's snark)

  by peeder on Fri Nov 10, 2006 at 09:32:52 PM PDT

  •  film at 11:00 (which, uh, I'll skip). [ nt ]

    by BenGoshi on Fri Nov 10, 2006 at 09:34:17 PM PDT

  •  Sadly, no.

    Photo of the victim:
    

    by Johnny Gentle Famous Crooner on Fri Nov 10, 2006 at 09:41:25 PM PDT

  •  at least?

    What would you hope most for it?

    by subtropolis on Fri Nov 10, 2006 at 10:13:21 PM PDT

•  The real reason

  I don't give a fuck why Ford lost:

  We got the fucking Senate. Who fucking cares?!!

  by michael1104 on Fri Nov 10, 2006 at 09:40:03 PM PDT

  •  But think of the puppies!

    by subtropolis on Fri Nov 10, 2006 at 10:14:16 PM PDT

    •  Yeh!

      .

      

      .

      by BenGoshi on Fri Nov 10, 2006 at 10:21:31 PM PDT

      •  Hmph.

        Such discrimination on dKos. Post a picture of one of those damned "pooties," and all the swooning girls shower you with Recommends. Post a picture of a puppy, and you're abandoned completely. Truly, it makes me sick. I'll call the DOJ on Monday and see what they think about this.

        by Johnny Gentle Famous Crooner on Fri Nov 10, 2006 at 10:30:16 PM PDT

        •  heh, i was just thinking of critising BenGoshi

          for resorting to puppy mojo, actually. It's such a cheap trick.

          

          by subtropolis on Fri Nov 10, 2006 at 10:34:30 PM PDT

          •  God, what an ugly kitten.

            Looks like a cat and a koi fish hooked up.

            by Johnny Gentle Famous Crooner on Fri Nov 10, 2006 at 10:36:57 PM PDT

•  I believe the actual reason Ford lost

  is that more people voted for Corker.

  Just an opinion, of course.

  by CJB on Fri Nov 10, 2006 at 09:42:25 PM PDT

  •  Yeah, but did you count all the votes?

    He who counts the votes makes the rules.

    The Music Room.

    by madhaus on Fri Nov 10, 2006 at 09:45:02 PM PDT

    •  Of course not.

      We only counted the votes of the "values voters".  Aren't they the only ones that matter?

      by CJB on Fri Nov 10, 2006 at 09:49:34 PM PDT

    •  Nope

      They who make the rules count the votes.

      Evidence: Elections 2000 and 2004.

      Go sit in the corner now, and study up.  This will be on the test again.

      by Cream City on Sat Nov 11, 2006 at 03:14:48 AM PDT

  •  Heh, just as I thought...

    another Logical Thinking Troll. Nothing to see here folks, just ignore him.

    by Olds88 on Fri Nov 10, 2006 at 09:51:21 PM PDT

    •  How can ya' trust an Olds88

      talkin' about a Ford?

      (P.S. and off topic... the best car I've ever had was a '69 Olds Delta 88...350 Rocket V8 motor with a carburator big enough to inhale small planets...13 mpg on the highway, but only when properly tuned up. DAMN I loved that car... like driving a battleship on asphalt.)

      by Paulie200 on Fri Nov 10, 2006 at 10:36:08 PM PDT

      •  Did it have ...?

        DAMN I loved that car... like driving a battleship on asphalt.

        Did it come with the same-day steering, and everything?

        by 4thepeople on Sat Nov 11, 2006 at 01:32:54 AM PDT

•  Ford lost...

  ...because he didn't listen to my brilliantly perfect strategy, which was without flaws because I am perfect and everyone else is a poopyhead.

  by DH from MD on Fri Nov 10, 2006 at 09:42:48 PM PDT

  •  I agree.

    And thanks again for helping me out with that string theory equation. I can't even tell you how long I was floundering around on it before you showed up.

    by Johnny Gentle Famous Crooner on Fri Nov 10, 2006 at 09:44:05 PM PDT

    •  String theory my butt

      You mean roll theory.  As in toilet roll.  And throw in something else about diaper constants.

      The Music Room.

      by madhaus on Fri Nov 10, 2006 at 09:46:09 PM PDT

  •  "because I am perfect

    everyone else is a poopyhead."  

    Say, isn't that the reasoning behind all of your other strategies, as well?

    Heh.

    by CJB on Fri Nov 10, 2006 at 09:44:51 PM PDT

  •  Yeah but

    can you link to yourself saying that in an earlier comment elsewhere on this blog? That takes style.

    by Warren Terrer on Fri Nov 10, 2006 at 10:03:54 PM PDT

    •  it would take more to link to a future comment

      but that's just me

      by subtropolis on Fri Nov 10, 2006 at 10:17:12 PM PDT

      •  Oh?

        It can be done, though not without great difficulty.

        by Johnny Gentle Famous Crooner on Fri Nov 10, 2006 at 10:21:34 PM PDT

        •  HA! back!

          by subtropolis on Fri Nov 10, 2006 at 10:28:48 PM PDT

      •  But there are two kinds of future

        comments: one that doesn't exist at the time the link is made (hence impossible), and one that didn't exist at the time of my comment, but will exist at the time some smart ass replies to my comment with a link. Like this one.

        by Warren Terrer on Sat Nov 11, 2006 at 06:42:21 AM PDT

•  being less than a year old dog it was petophilia

  .

  by kuvasz on Fri Nov 10, 2006 at 09:45:25 PM PDT

  •  groan.

    That pun was for the dogs. Ha ha! My lord, I'm clever.

    by Johnny Gentle Famous Crooner on Fri Nov 10, 2006 at 09:49:11 PM PDT

  •  I CALL TROLL!!1!

    to an 80-lb., two-year-old German Shepherd named Mitsy

    Nice try with the RedState disinfo, kuvasz (if that's your real uid).

    [goes off to pen angry, self-important rant about this not being about petophilia]

    by subtropolis on Fri Nov 10, 2006 at 10:20:48 PM PDT

    •  Ha! n/t

      by Johnny Gentle Famous Crooner on Fri Nov 10, 2006 at 10:24:02 PM PDT

    •  btw a Kuvasz is a breed of dog

      and who wouldn't want a mate who waited for you by the front door, naked, on all-fours, with a leather collar around their necks and could lick their own butt?

      by kuvasz on Sat Nov 11, 2006 at 08:56:43 AM PDT

      •  provocative!

        by subtropolis on Sat Nov 11, 2006 at 09:09:11 AM PDT

•  The tragedy was that

  a lot of us here in TN supported HF only on the basis of dog-love.  Once he turned the back on his past, the election was lost.

  by tipsymcstagger on Fri Nov 10, 2006 at 09:46:33 PM PDT

  •  a bit of the old man-on-dog love?? n/t

    by lunacat on Fri Nov 10, 2006 at 11:57:16 PM PDT

•  Nobody's going to blame Diebold?

  Our victory really put those conspiracy theories to rest????? I'm shocked!

  by DemocraticLuntz on Fri Nov 10, 2006 at 09:46:46 PM PDT

  •  Speak for yourself.

    Don't even get me started on Gary Trauner having sex with a Diebold machine...

    by Johnny Gentle Famous Crooner on Fri Nov 10, 2006 at 09:50:13 PM PDT

    •  LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      In my district, our incumbent Congressman Sherwood lost. He is under investigation for choking his mistress, and  paying her 5 million dollars to keep quiet.

      I heard Sherwood tried to Choke a Diebold machine after he had an affair with it.

      by wishingwell on Sat Nov 11, 2006 at 05:29:20 AM PDT

      •  "Choking his mistress"?

        Is that what the kids are calling it these days?

        by Major Danby on Sun Nov 12, 2006 at 01:01:25 AM PDT

  •  DemocraticLuntz

    Good to see you back.

    by kindertotenlieder on Fri Nov 10, 2006 at 09:51:27 PM PDT

  •  doggie-porn on their terminals made him do it

    by subtropolis on Fri Nov 10, 2006 at 10:22:07 PM PDT

•  What do you mean it wasn't publicized?

  She made that commercial didn't she?

  by Olds88 on Fri Nov 10, 2006 at 09:55:49 PM PDT

  •  Before anyone complains

    let me just say I am shocked and appalled at my use of such base humor. I certainly hope we don't see more of this from me in the future...

    by Olds88 on Fri Nov 10, 2006 at 09:57:47 PM PDT

    •  Especially not in this era of bipartisanship.

      And let's hope we NEVER resort to crass, insulting images like this one again:
      

      by Johnny Gentle Famous Crooner on Fri Nov 10, 2006 at 10:02:35 PM PDT

      •  Well

        That should finally put to rest all rumors that she is really a man. I am so tired of that.

        by Warren Terrer on Fri Nov 10, 2006 at 10:07:04 PM PDT

      •  I recognize her-- she's the one that said "Call

        Me Harold" from the Playboy Mansion in that Corker ad.

        by doinaheckuvanutjob on Fri Nov 10, 2006 at 11:48:51 PM PDT

        •  But her dog looks strangely familiar.

          Didn't her puppy call for liberals to be rounded up into Gitmo? Bad dog.

          by doinaheckuvanutjob on Fri Nov 10, 2006 at 11:51:06 PM PDT

      •  this picture

        describes Man on Dog Santorum's theory of what being Gay is all about.

        So glad we got that idiot out of office. I was hoping during his concession speech, someone would get a dog on stage to bite him.

        by wishingwell on Sat Nov 11, 2006 at 05:30:35 AM PDT

•  In Hindsight, I'm the most astute political

  observer on the whole internet, so when I'm on this site that makes you the second most astute...., well you get the idea.  And this Ford reason is just another bogus attempt to take credit for the things we all see in The Hindsight Times.

  by The Hindsight Times on Fri Nov 10, 2006 at 10:02:59 PM PDT

•  Mitsy Must Be A Real Yellow Dog. . . n/t

  by Limelite on Fri Nov 10, 2006 at 10:10:05 PM PDT

•  This is a stupid diary...

  And should be speedy deleted.

  by punkliberal on Fri Nov 10, 2006 at 10:19:26 PM PDT

  •  You are so right...

    I don't know what I was thinking. I'll delete it immediately just because you said so. I'll get right on it, ASAP!!!!!!!!

    by Johnny Gentle Famous Crooner on Fri Nov 10, 2006 at 10:23:21 PM PDT

    •  more to the story

      it wasn't a dog named Mitsy. His name was Butch and you know how those southerners hate them homo types. I think if he'd just pounded the pup he might have been alright, but a homo pup? Yer outa here.

      by FireCrow on Fri Nov 10, 2006 at 10:45:12 PM PDT

      •  Oh lord...

        Having sex with a dog is one thing--heck, who hasn't done that? But having sex with a gay dog? That is sick, sick, sick. Santorum was right.

        by Johnny Gentle Famous Crooner on Fri Nov 10, 2006 at 10:47:12 PM PDT

        •  I think your bias here is obvious

          Johnny Gentle Famous Corker.

          by Major Danby on Sun Nov 12, 2006 at 01:04:42 AM PDT

  •  Stupid, yes. Pointless, yes.

    Should be deleted?  Naw.  JGFC's done enough very good and serious and noteworthy commenting and diarying to earn the right to just throw out a silly one now and again.   He earrrrrrned it.

    BG
    ____________________________________________________

    by BenGoshi on Fri Nov 10, 2006 at 10:24:25 PM PDT

    •  No, he's right...

      I'm an embarrassment to Daily Kos, to my family, and to my God. I thought maybe I could post a pointless diary after midnight on a Friday without ruining the universe, but what did I know? I screwed it up. I screwed it all up. Only now, in this dark hour, do I see the folly of my ways.

      by Johnny Gentle Famous Crooner on Fri Nov 10, 2006 at 10:27:44 PM PDT

      •  You've ruined my life.

        Please delete this diary or I will lose my job, my wife, my family and my home.

        Thank you in advance for your attention to this matter.

        by Bob Johnson on Fri Nov 10, 2006 at 10:31:17 PM PDT

        •  Interesting , in light of this diary, that

          you didn't mention that you still will have your dog.

          by Cream City on Sat Nov 11, 2006 at 03:22:43 AM PDT

      •  You f#cking a$$hole, Crooner

        As if messing up Bob Johnson's life forever is not egregious enough... with this diary you have singlehandedly cost us the '08 election.

        Anyway you are wrong about why Ford lost.  Ford lost because his great grandfather, Henry, was a Hitler apologist whose progeny ruined our economy by making lousy cars.  Also, his uncle, Billy Clay Ford, owns the shittiest team in all of pro football.  The dog thing was just a stunt to deflect media attention from his own pedigree.

        by Eddie Haskell on Fri Nov 10, 2006 at 11:01:04 PM PDT

        •  On the bright side,

          his great uncle made some terrific Westerns.

          by Johnny Gentle Famous Crooner on Fri Nov 10, 2006 at 11:05:43 PM PDT

          •  Yeah, but...

            ... don't even get me started on his old Uncle Gerald, the fuckin' klutz.

            No wonder Bob fumbled the ball in TN, with genes like that.

            by Eddie Haskell on Fri Nov 10, 2006 at 11:38:57 PM PDT

      •  You must be on the east coast!

        It is still early where I live!

        by dangangry on Fri Nov 10, 2006 at 11:47:45 PM PDT

  •  you're no fun AT ALL!

    

    by subtropolis on Fri Nov 10, 2006 at 10:27:14 PM PDT

  •  This is a stupid diary...

    And should be Recommended.

    Because I am all about the stupid diaries.

    by Mister Big on Fri Nov 10, 2006 at 10:34:40 PM PDT

    •  Idiots, he was humping Barack

      

      by punkliberal on Fri Nov 10, 2006 at 10:44:04 PM PDT

      •  And from the looks of things

        Barack is not enjoying the experience.

        by Mister Big on Fri Nov 10, 2006 at 10:52:33 PM PDT

        •  "The Audacity of Non-Consensual Sex" n/t

          by Johnny Gentle Famous Crooner on Fri Nov 10, 2006 at 10:56:46 PM PDT

    •  It Was Really Markos Doing the Humping...

      He was humping Howard Dean.

      What! You didn't like that snark?

      Shows you have no sense of humor.

      by SignalSuzie on Sat Nov 11, 2006 at 03:19:37 AM PDT

  •  punkliberal's right, this diary is the real

    reason Ford lost. That's because we now know Johnny...Crooner can travel in time, he's shown us.

    So please, go back in time, delete this diary and then Ford will be rightfully elected.

    Or will that mess up the space time continuum and we'll elect Ford but the Rethugs take Congress?

    Oh, this is hard. What to do?

    by doinaheckuvanutjob on Fri Nov 10, 2006 at 11:56:05 PM PDT

•  If that dog is under 14 years old then

  I wouldn't vote for Ford either.

  by frankzappatista on Fri Nov 10, 2006 at 11:39:53 PM PDT

•  LOL

  Man on Dog Santorum will get right on that as after all, he is going to have lots of free time now.

  LOL>

  by wishingwell on Sat Nov 11, 2006 at 05:26:27 AM PDT