As we slip into holiday mode, it's useful to remember the history of this celebration, for it holds important lessons for us today.
Once upon a time, America was filled with 100% authentic, real Americans, who lived more or less happily through the days and years.
And then something truly awful happened: The First Wetbacks arrived.
Consequences discussed below: not for the faint of heart.
They came her across a pond. They didn't have passports or visas. They didn't have green cards. They weren't invited at all. They just came over.
They landed near a rock, looked around, and decided this was a good land, full of opportunity. It was a land they could make their own. So they just plopped down and stayed.
They didn't pay for the land, or obtain clear title to it. They just squatted down and took it.
Now these illegal aliens didn't know the local language. They didn't know the local customs. They didn't dress or act like real Americans. They didn't even know how to feed themselves or get good jobs. So, naturally, they began to starve.
But the local Americans were a friendly and compassionate people, and decided to take in these funny-colored strangers instead of fencing them out. The Americans taught the aliens how to get food, how to get work, how to survive the difficult winter. They even learned some of the new people's language.
And then the New Americans began to prosper. They hunted and fished. They picked crops on their farms. They built buildings like those from back home, which actually held up pretty well!
And then to show their gratitude, these New Americans put on a big feast for the authentic Americans who had done so much for them. The feast was grand and wonderful, and everyone agreed that this would be the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
And the New Americans were so successful, they began to breed. They breeded and breeded. A lot. But they did it quietly, out of sight of anyone, so no one could see how much they breeded. And pretty soon there were more and more of the New Americans.
And as their numbers increased, they needed more land. And so they spread out to the north, west, and south and just took more and more land. And when the authentic Americans asked for rent or purchase agreements and escrows on the land, the New Americans just laughed and laughed at them.
And killed them.
The moral of the story is clear, my friends. Don't let illegal alien wetbacks into your country. And especially don't help them out. If you do, they will take over your land, replace your language, and breed like rabbits. And pretty soon it won't be your land any more.
Just ask an Indian.
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Copyright 2006. All rights reserved.