Today in Meeting for Worship our Clerk rose to remind us that today we have the one-year anniversary of the abduction of the 4 members of the Christian Peacemakers Team in Badghdad, including our own Tom Fox. It was, in fact, in Meeting for Worship on the equivalent Sunday after Thanksgiving that most of our members found out about Tom's abduction. Reflecting back on that time, on the period that extended through to Tom's death and the memorial service, and because of several other things on my mind today, I decided to take the time to draft a diary to offer a very few thoughts. I will explain a bit of the background to my thinking, then offer a bit of a medidation. This will be far shorter than many of my diaries. I invite you to read along.
Perhaps even before Meeting for Worship I was already inclined to be meditative today. Upon arising (late for me) this morning I encountered Possum's diary I am Not A Traitor to which I found myself appending an extended comment that was in part a remiscence, in part a reflection, and in part an offering of a way to react.
Thus I was already inclined to be thinking about how we witness in a time of conflict, how we respond when offered violence and insults, when Doug, our Clerk, rose to make his remarks. At first I was embarrassed to realize that I had forgotten the anniversary, despite my own involvement first in trying to keep Tom's identity out of the news (his background in the Marine Band being likely to be misunderstood after the events in Fallujah) and then in the ongoing vigils at the Meeting, and in explaining Tom's work online. My participation in blogging about Tom was but a small part of what was posted here: a search of stories and diaries this morning found 759 with a tag on Tom's name.
As I now move into the meditation part of this diary, I have Beethoven's Quartet Opus 132 on XM Radio. Tom, as a musician, would appreciate fine music of any time. Often music is a way of making common connections even when we lack words in common. Some music combines the sounds and rhythms of instruments with words. The music may reinforce and may contradict the apparent meaning of the words, perhaps with deliberate irony.
Possum wrote about the experience of doing a vigil against war and some of the less than pleasant responses it engendered. In my comment I discussed some of my own similar experiences some 4 decades past. And that leads to what little I think I have to offer the community now.
We have a responsibility to witness in whatever way is appropriate for us. It will not be something universal. What may make sense at one stage in our life will not be that which we can or should do at another - I now rarely stand in silent vigils, preferring to use whatever power of words I may command and whatever attention I may be able to garner to express more directly, even if perhaps less powerfully.
Quakers prefer the term Testimony about our position against war and violence. Witness seems almost too passive, even though members of my own Monthly Meeting weekly have stood in Vigil outside the Capitol for several years. Testimony seems more active, and that is the key, regardless of which label we append to what we do.
We are taking action, even if it is to stand in silence, with or without extensive signage. And to each action upon which we embark there are multiple counter actions, actions in response on the part of others. We cannot control what those will be, but we do have a responsibility for our subsequent responses back. Merely standing in silence can be a powerful challenge, a real confrontation to those who wish to avert their eyes, or who do not wish others to have their attention drawn to the concerns we raise. This raises the real difficulty.
When we embark upon a witness, a testimony, while we have every right to attempt to ensure our safety, we must remember that each action we subsequently do, each additional word we utter, will be taken by many as part of the message we wish to deliver. And if that additional action or word contradicts or undercuts our original intent, then we have a lost an opportunity to make a difference.
As a Quaker, I am called upon to do two things. The first is to walk Gladly across the earth. That's the hard part, because there is so much that I encounter that saddens, angers, or depresses me. I encounter failure, including my own in not acting previously.
The second thing to which I am called is to answer that of God in each person. Even though I am not sure who or what God may be, I consider this calling a sacred obligation. I cannot answer that of God in another if I refuse to see or acknowledge it. And I cannot see or acknowledge it if my concern is to tear down the other, to respond with anger - even if most might consider the anger justifiable.
I am not passive. Neither Gandhi nor King would view their direct actions as indications of passivity. To be present, and open to what others may through back as we challenge them, is to be totally active, even if to the casual viewer it might seem otherwise.
This is my meditation. It is shared because there are others here to whom it may speak. Like me, Possum attends Quaker Meeting, and much of what I offer will be familiar. To others the approach may seem somewhat alien. I have found as I have aged that is, like the practice of Quaker business meeting of not moving forward against the strong objections of even one, tending to nudge one in the direction of seeking out what is common, to which we can agree, and averting the tendency to reject the person when our real objection is to one attitude or action.
As a political blog, dailykos will engender forceful and heated discussion. We will not always agree, and it is our disagreements which, if approached with openness, may empower us all to grow, and to achieve far greater success for our common goals.
Tom Fox laid his life on the line to make a difference, to try to stop violence and war. He did not consider himself perfect, and he did not consider what he had done heroic. He considered it necessary. It is that simple necessity to which I am drawn in looking back one year to the time of his disappearance. I will not offer testimony as did Tom - my witness is different. For each of us we will have to find our own unique way. For each, we will have to find within ourselves our own still, small voice which can guide us.
May the rest of this day - yea, the rest of your life - be blessed with peace, with the opportunity seek peace, and help it grow. May you learn to recognize your own still, small voice.
UPDATE I want to add a brief correction - when I did the search I picked up every tag that had either Tom or Fox, so there will be many items in the search that are not about "Tom Fox". Those near the top,a total of something over 20, are about the man whose abduction took place one year ago today. I apologize for any confusion.