Sometimes ya just gotta blow off steam...the continuing adventures of the "Axis of Poo" - Bush-Cheney-Rice
Dick Cheney, this week became the first Vice President in history to possess two assholes. A highly placed government official, speaking on the condition of anonymity was quoted as saying, "The Saudis sure ripped him a new one." A spokesman for the VP would not confirm or deny that a long scheduled hunting trip with members of the Saudi Royal family was cancelled due to what one Saudi official called, "A lack of desire on the part of the Saudis to ‘lose face.’"
After being obviously snubbed by Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki, who was upset by a White House leak of a memo penned by national security adviser Stephen Hadley that claimed, among other things that al-Maliki "Couldn’t wipe his ass with a Persian rug", the President trotted out Sec. of State Condi "Exxon" Rice to sooth the troubled Media. On the evening news with Brian Williams, Dr. Rice was asked how the canceled meeting could not be seen as "an obvious snub." Rice replied, "Oh come now!" Williams said after the show that he had never felt so violated.
Due to having nothing to do, President Bush, who complained of not feeling well aboard Air Force One, and fearing a repeat of his father’s famous ‘puking on the Chinese’ episode, submitted to a battery of tests at the hands of Jordanian Doctors. The findings were surprising, to say the least. It has been confirmed that the President is suffering from the following physical and mental disorders:
Stupidity
Class bias
Shallowness
Ignorance
Ineptness
Pathological narcissism
Distorted misconstruction of religion
Arrogance
Delusions of grandeur
Bed wetting
Monomania
Compulsive anal retention
Epistemophobia
Vitamin deficiency
Dissimulation
Hypocrisy
Erectile dysfunction
Pharisaism
Mad cow disease
Achromatopsia
Onomatopoeia
Club foot
Mispronunciation
Dizziness
Backdoor trots
Asperger syndrome
RLS
Trichotillomania
Allodoxaphobia
The President, who is in poor physical condition due to years of drug and alcohol abuse was quoted as saying, "I fneel fline." When asked what type of regimen he would be following to deal with his health problems, Mr. Bush replied, "Stay the course. Steady as she goes. We are winning. It will take patience. I just wish I could take a crap without it hurting."