The Tuesday Diversion: The Death of Mr. Claus

Let me say this up front: I love Christmas. I do. It's my favorite secular holiday.

In 4th grade Sunday School in the mid-60s I didn't get satisfactory answers to certain questions (like "Just how did that Red Sea part again?") and so became a non-believer at an early age. But I still loved Christmas. Sure, the presents were great and all, but I liked the twinkle of lights through frosty windows, and sleigh rides in the park, and the ceremony: buying a tree, my dad tying it to the top of the station wagon, decorating it in the living room while listening to Johnny Mathis. All that stuff.

That's also the year I found out there was no Santa Claus. Maybe, for me, discovering the truth about the falsity of Santa Claus liberated Christmas from the falsity of Christianity, and enabled me to enjoy the holiday for what it was itself, lights and sounds and magic, unencumbered by forced belief.

But there's another reason I love Christmas. Each Christmas I get younger. I didn't always used to get younger. As time went on and Christmas became more and more commercialized and commoditized, I slowly became more cynical and bitter, and with each year's hardening became that much older. And then I had kids. And they discovered Christmas. And each year we went out and bought a tree and tied it to the top of the car and decorated it in the living room while listening to Johnny Mathis. And I saw Christmas reflected in their eyes, saw their unalloyed joy at the lights and the sounds and the twinkle of lights in cold air.

And each year I saw that I became less cynical and less bitter and less hard, and each year I became younger. My youngest is five years old now and I'm so looking forward to becoming younger in the next 5 to 10 years.

So, anyway, for those of you who grew up with Christmas, how old were you when you found out about Santa Claus, and how did it affect you?

•  tip jar

  Happy Holidays

  by The Centerfielder on Tue Dec 12, 2006 at 04:14:32 PM PDT

•  I had a Turkish boyfriend in high school

  and unbelievably my parents let me go there by myself for a summer when I was 17. One of the places we visited was Santa Claus' tomb (Myra, Turkey). Well, it was St Nicholas' tomb, but the tiny village had plenty of strange Santa Claus junk around for the tourists.

  by ablington on Tue Dec 12, 2006 at 04:18:39 PM PDT

•  what? WHAT??

  No Santa Claus??  What are you talking about?  I mean, what the hell are you talking about?

  Hmph.  No Santa Claus.  Right.  Sure thing.  Might as well try to tell me that "Imagine" is just a song.  Or that the Constitution is just a goddamned piece of paper.  

  Sell it to someone else, buddy.  I have Christmas movies to watch.

  by kay dub on Tue Dec 12, 2006 at 04:40:32 PM PDT

•  Somewhere around age 5 or 6

  Being a hard-ass cynic, I concluded that the idea of Santa Claus visiting billions of homes in a 24-hour period just didn't add up.

  by Dump Terry McAuliffe on Tue Dec 12, 2006 at 05:28:11 PM PDT

•  Take your lies about Santa elsewhere!

  Actually, you reminded me of my favorite comic strip.

  by Olds88 on Tue Dec 12, 2006 at 06:04:08 PM PDT

•  What? You mean. . .?

  WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

  by Crashing Vor on Tue Dec 12, 2006 at 06:35:57 PM PDT

  •  And more

    WAAAHHH!

    by Crashing Vor on Tue Dec 12, 2006 at 06:42:08 PM PDT