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I don’t think I'll ever understand the modern conservative mind. To peer inside must be akin to looking through a dime store kaleidoscope filled with rocks and oatmeal. The latest example of nuttiness is conservative columnist Kathleen Parker's half-cocked defense of recent comments by conservative columnist Dennis Prager.
First let's revisit what Prager---whom Parker calls "a thoroughly decent fellow"---originally said. To Parker, these are the words of a "decent" man...
Keith Ellison, D-Minn., the first Muslim elected to the United States Congress, has announced that he will not take his oath of office on the Bible, but on the bible of Islam, the Koran. He should not be allowed to do so---not because of any American hostility to the Koran, but because the act undermines American civilization.
When all elected officials take their oaths of office with their hands on the very same book, they all affirm that some unifying value system underlies American civilization. If Keith Ellison is allowed to change that, he will be doing more damage to the unity of America and to the value system that has formed this country than the terrorists of 9-11.
The real silliness begins below...
Let's start here: there is no requirement that any member of Congress has to swear on any book, pamphlet, or book-on-tape in order to activate his or her Congressional washroom passkey. Parker grudgingly acknowledges this (facts can be pesky annoyances in the modern conservative mind):
It appears that Prager is, at least technically, wrong. But his concerns are not those of a hate-monger. Prager is merely the quarterback in the latest scrimmage over ideas in post-9-11 America.
Yes, post-9-11 America, where habeas corpus is quaint, dissent is treason, and privacy is for sissies. At least technically. Go team.
There is a growing sense, both here and in Europe, that Western civilization is under siege by the radical Muslim world, the expressed goal of which is to convert the rest of us. There's not much wiggle room in Sharia law for optional religious practices. Or, we note, accessorizing wardrobes.
[Ba-dum-bump! "Thank you! Please tip your servers!"]
First, a "sense" is not a reality. Second, I'll assume that Parker's failure to note that radical Christian factions are in full recruitment mode 24/7/365 is purely accidental. But what's really important is that we all just calm down and practice some good old fashioned Kum By Yah...
On a certain level, one can understand Prager's view that introducing the Quran into American government is a taunt to traditional values.
No Kathleen, no rational person can ever "understand" that on any level because it's utter bullcrap. First, freedom of religion is in the American Traditional Values Hall of Fame, whether you're a Christian, Muslim, Jew or devotee of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (blessings be upon him). Second, Rep.-elect Ellison isn’t looking to hijack the Constitution and open a Discount Burkha Outlet in the capital rotunda. If Christians can take an oath on a Bible and Jews can take an oath on a Hebrew text without incident, then Ellison can take his frigging oath on the Quran, period. That we liberals have to constantly point out these basic 3rd-grade tenets of our system of government to the Very Deep Thinkers of the conservative movement is mind-boggling.
And, of course, what would a meal of truthiness be without a side dish of condescension...
Obviously, Ellison could forgo the Quran and affirm as others have. That he insists on the Quran is probable cause to infer that he's trying to make a statement and assert himself as a Muslim in the U.S. Congress. Before 9-11, that singular act might not have drawn attention. But that was then.
Obviously, conservatives are scared out of their polyestor dress slacks by the brown people. Someone should double-check all their birth certificates, starting with Rep.-elect Ellison, the ringleader of the modern American jihadist movement.
Hoisting the red flag, as Prager has done, isn't an act of bigotry---or even schmuckery. It is the understandable reflex of a man, who, as Prager himself puts it, knows that a Bible-swearing nation has been, and will be, a better place for Jews to live than one that swears on the Quran.
Genius is not required to grasp that concept, but civility is critical to debating these issues. Name-calling and showboating righteousness---or demanding punitive action against those who voice an unpopular opinion---is the wrong way up a dead-end street.
Translation: Stop picking on my "decent" conservative friend simply because he lies and smears and paints a phony-baloney picture of a utopian America that will crumble to dust if we tolerate any religion not on his pre-approved happy list. Wow, I get it now. And in Prager and Parker's world, that makes me a genius.
Pardon me while I go take a shower.
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