Inspired by a need for a more efficient alphabet and by Delaware Dem's excellent diary, I present to you my proposal for a new alphabet.
First, why do we need a new alphabet? The answer is simple. Efficiency. Think about how Great Canada, UK and Australia would be, if only they didn't have to waste so much time writing or typing unneeded U's in words like colour and flavour. Not having to do this is why the United States has had a leg up on other English speaking countries and why we're the most powerful.
Now is not the time to rest on our laurels, however. It's time to step in to the New Alphabet Century.
more...
A - A is fine. It's a great way to begin the alphabet or just alphabet. A is necessary and should stay on.
B - Let it be.
C - Another great letter. It's a multitasker. It can make the S sound, the K sound and it teams up nicely with H to give us the Ch sound. I believe C can do more, however.
D - Don't mess with D.
E - This letter can go. What can it do that the sometimes Y can't?
F - F can phuck off.
G - G is another multitasker. It can handle J's load.
H - H is a great sidekick to the C, T and the P, as well as it's own sound. I have the greatest respect for H, as it is unselfish.
I - There is no I in team. I can go. It will be replaced by aye and eye.
J - J is for Jerk-off. G will take up its slack.
K - K never could. C will take up its slack.
L - Leave it alone.
M - Unfortunately, M has to stay, even though it's limited in what it can do.
N - See M.
O - O is Okay with me.
P - P will have to Cic it up a notch, if it wants to replace F.
Q - Q is too codependent on U. It needs to watch it. But, it stays for now.
R - R is all right.
S - S can go. C can handle the S counds.
T - T is terrific!
U - Needs to stop enabling Q, but can ctay for now.
W - We have no choice but to ceep it. (Crap, I have to let I bac in).
X - X is ex. A totally ucelecc letter.
Y - It haz to decide to be all the time and not just cometime Y, but it ctayz for now.
Z - Will have to help out on pluralz and pozeccivez in S'z abcence.
Co, the new improved alphabet iz -
A, B, C, D, E, G, H, I (barely in), L, M, N, O, P, Q (on watch), R, T, U, V, W, Y (probation), Z.
hink