I know how you can get an interview with John Roberts, maybe even in time for your next taping.
You may be thinking that, with all the hooplah surrounding the nomination and all, it would be impossible to book him right now.
But it's really a lot easier than you might be imagining.
Click
here and you'll see what I mean.
That's him!!! That's the guy!!! His expression never changes!!!
Although, I doubt you'll actually have to go as far as she did to keep him happy (no matter what you may hear about Roberts' uh, proclivities). Besides, you'd have to cut that part out anyways, so what do you actually lose?
I can see it now: you announce that SCOTUS nominee Bob ... uh, I mean John Roberts is going to be on your show, everyone looks at you like you're crazy. You stare back at them like "I know something you don't know."
And then ... there's this hissing sound ...
And up bobs the nominee right next to you! Is this a great country or what?
You can ask him any question you want and he'll give you the same answer (unless you have Schumer on, in which case there'll be no answer at all; next question, please).
Whaddaya think? Oh, c'mon! You already stole one of my ideas, so what's to stop you now?
.