Dan Froomkin in his
White House Briefing has some fun poking the Bush administration in the collective eye by comparing ShrubCo.'s reaction to the criminal charges against Claude Allen ("disappointment, deep disappointment") with the reaction to the criminal charges against Scooter Libby ("deep regret").
But there is so much more fun to be had, as you'll see after the jump.
Froomkin writes:
Now that the White House has demonstrated the ability to respond in the conventional way to criminal charges filed against a member of its senior staff, it becomes even more abundantly clear that in the Libby matter, it assertively chose not to do so.
The inescapable conclusion is that either Bush and Cheney think Libby's innocent -- or they don't think what he's accused of doing was in any way wrong.
Actually, scratch that. If they thought he was innocent, they could just say so. Nothing wrong with saying: We don't think he did it, but let's allow the legal system to do its job. So that leaves only option B: They don't think that what Libby is accused of doing was wrong.
Well, that's not too shabby, Dan. But what I really like is what the anonymous Bushite staffer told Holly Bailey and Pat Wingert of Newsweek:
Allen's former White House colleagues were surprised by the pettiness of the alleged crimes, especially since Allen was regarded in the ranks as being a bit stuffy and holier-than-thou. As one White House aide, who asked for anonymity to avoid embarrassing the administration, put it, 'When you hear about a White House official getting busted, you'd hope it would be for something so much better than this, like securities fraud or embezzlement. But robbing a Target? Are you kidding me?' "
Ohhh, your imagination can just run riot with that, can't it? "When you hear about a White House official getting busted, you'd hope it would be for something so much better than this, like securities fraud or embezzlement." In fact, I'm surprised the Republicans and conservatives haven't codified this into some sort of guidelines for criminal sentencing:
- Rip off a local Best Buy or Circuit City with a coupon scam. Very low level crime: five years minimum sentence.
- Pull up with your New Jersey uncle's construction outfit at 2 am and pick up the whole damn store and truck it off. Low level crime that requires too much physical labor, but certainly a bit more entrepreneurial sine you have to employ a few people, hopefully, low-wage illegal immigrants (except for your lieutenants and enforcers, of course). Four years minimum sentence.
- Get your New Jersey aunt hired as a book keeper at the local Best Buy or Circuit City and embezzle a few hundred thousand dollars. Still rather low level, but at least there's no physical labor involved. Three years minimum sentence. And, hey, would you like to contribute to help fund our local church's weekend retreat to Las Vegas?
- Convince your New Jersey uncle and aunt to go totally legit, and attempt to run the stock of Best Buy or Circuit City up and down with rumors, news leaks, and insider trading. Now you're definitely an entrepreneur. Two years minimum sentence. And we would love to see you at the $5,000 a plate dinner for Congressman Bulgepocket.
- Send your younger brother to get an advanced degree in finance, and then run the stock of Best Buy or Circuit City up and down using the options market. Ummmm, nice, nice. Too bad you got caught. One year maximum sentence. What, you're not a member of our country club? Why, I happen to have an application right here in the back seat of my Lexus. And did you know that Dick Cheney will be the guest speaker at the $10,000 a plate dinner for Senator Cashgrab?
- Run the stock of Best Buy or Circuit City up and down with rumors, news leaks, and insider trading and the options market. Buy the local newspaper, two of the local TV stations, and a handful of the local radio stations, and cut off all reporting of the insider trading and the options market manipulation, while playing up the rumors and news leaks. Create and fund a think tank devoted to the study of the impending world shortage of Asian sweat-shop electronic components that are crucial to national security and the lack of which would threaten the emerging consumer boom in big screen TVs and destabilize the entire U.S. economy. Justify an invasion of Malaysia and the bombing of Singapore. Sir, would you like to be a Bush Pioneer?
On the serious side, what really ought be noted here, is that this is NOT the criminal mindset at work. This is the ARISTOCRATIC mindset at work. As a friend who once worked in the bowels of Wall Street told me a few years ago, the one thing he learned was that "When you have enough money, nothing is against the law."