Cheers and Jeers: Tuesday
Tue Jun 06, 2006 at 05:07:50 AM PDT
From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE...
President Bush fancies himself a leader in the mold of Harry Truman?? Ha! Let the Bush-Truman debate begin...
Bush: I glance at the headlines, just to get kind of a flavor. I rarely read the stories.
Truman: A president either is constantly on top of events or, if he hesitates, events will soon be on top of him.
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Bush: Facing clear evidence of peril, we cannot wait for the final proof, the smoking gun that could come in the form of a mushroom cloud.
Truman: In the circumstances, alarm is justified. The man who isn't alarmed simply doesn't understand the situation---or he is crazy. But alarm is one thing, and hysteria is another. Hysteria impels people to destroy the very thing they are struggling to preserve.
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Bush: We found the weapons of mass destruction. We found biological laboratories...for those who say we haven't found the banned manufacturing devices or banned weapons, they're wrong, we found them. <<>> [T]here's theories as to where the weapons went. They could have been destroyed during the war. Saddam and his henchmen could have destroyed them as we entered into Iraq. They could be hidden. They could have been transported to another country, and we'll find out.
Truman: He's one of the few in the history of this country to run for high office talking out of both sides of his mouth at the same time and lying out of both sides.
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Bush: The FISA law was written in 1978. We're having this discussion in 2006. It's a different world. And FISA is still an important tool. It's an important tool. And we still use that tool. But also...and we...look, I said, look, is it possible to conduct this program under the old law? And people said, it doesn't work in order to be able to do the job we expect us to do.
Truman: It's plain hokum. If you can't convince 'em, confuse 'em. It's an old political trick. But this time it won't work.
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Bush: Because the...all which is on the table begins to address the big cost drivers. For example, how benefits are calculate, for example, is on the table; whether or not benefits rise based upon wage increases or price increases. There's a series of parts of the formula that are being considered. And when you couple that, those different cost drivers, affecting those...changing those with personal accounts, the idea is to get what has been promised more likely to be...or closer delivered to what has been promised. Does that make any sense to you? It's kind of muddled.
Truman: Why, this fellow don't know any more about politics than a pig knows about Sunday.
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Bush: There are some who feel like that if they attack us that we may decide to leave prematurely. They don't understand what they are talking about if that's the case. Let me finish. There are some who feel like that the conditions are such that they can attack us there. My answer is bring `em on.
Truman: Some day I hope to meet you. When that happens you'll need a new nose, a lot of beefsteak for black eyes and perhaps a supporter below.
Score: Bush 0 Truman 6
Cheers and Jeers starts in There's Moreville... [Go Busby!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Tuesday, June 6, 2006
Note: Today's date is 666. Today Ann Coulter's new book comes out. Discuss.
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By the Numbers:
Days `til the YearlyKos convention in Las Vegas June 8-11: 2!!!
Days `til Father's Day: 16
Americans who say Babe Ruth is the greatest home run hitter in baseball: 43%
Percent who say it's Barry Bonds: 3%
(Source: USA Today/Gallup poll via The Week magazine)
Number of global internet users 15 and older: 694 million
(Source: Fortune)
Longest recorded flight of a chicken: 13 seconds
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Your Puppy Pic of the Day: "Oh, waiter! There's a hair in my food..."
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CHEERS to the fight in the 50th. On the dance card today: Democrat Francine Busby vs. Republican Brian Bilbray. Big stakes:
A Busby victory on June 6 would further energize Democratic efforts to win back a majority of the House of Representatives in the Nov. 7 elections. Busby's continuing lead in what has been considered a Republican safe seat reflects national polls showing congressional Democrats heavily favored over Republicans based on issues.
Unfortunately, an offhand Busby comment about voting without "papers" could nip at her heels. Memo to Bilbray: don't forget to kick a kitten in front of the cameras this morning---we hear it's a, uh, sign of good luck.
CHEERS to blue J's. In Montana's Democratic Senate primary, Jon Tester and John Morrison are vying for the right to beat the shit out of Conrad Burns in November. May the best man win...(wink, wink).
JEERS to thuggery, American style. Donald Rumsfeld's Pentagon wants to kick to the curb a provision of the Geneva Convention that prohibits humiliating and degrading treatment of prisoners. It's a sad day for the integrity of the United States...but a great day for the employability of mimes, sock puppeteers and bagpipe players.
CHEERS to warrantless eavesdropping. No, really, this is the good kind of surveillance! Air America will be video streaming all the YearlyKos panels and speakers for less than the price of a latté and stale croissant at Starbucks. Meanwhile, those of you going to Vegas should be on the lookout for "non-attendees" conducting surveillance of their own. (I see you hiding in the sink, Kerry!)
CHEERS to strange bedfellows. How important is net neutrality to preserving the American way of life? So important that MoveOn.org and---are you sitting down?---the Christian Coalition have teamed up to ensure that the speed of internet access isn't compromised by the phone and cable companies (a House vote could happen this week). Meanwhile, Jerry Falwell and Michael Moore are teaming up to protest the rising cost of Twinkies. Well Kum-Bay-frickin'-Yah.
JEERS to textbooks of mass destruction. A quick reminder that 15 of the 19 terrorists involved in the 9/11 hijackings were schooled in Saudi Arabia, and guess what? Why, that lovable Land-O-Oil is still churning out little bastard thugs who hate us:
An eighth-grade text, for example, teaches that "the Jews are apes...while the swine are the Christians." A 12th-grader learns the value of jihad (holy war) in language that shows jihad as a violent struggle against Jews, Christians and Muslims who don't follow the conservative Wahhabi version of Islam that Saudi Arabia officially adheres to.
Instead of apples, students leave hand grenades on the teacher's desk. Sweet.
CHEERS to moving day. Busy doings in the office of Tom DeLay this week---packin' up boxes and hiding dead bodies in preparation for his Friday departure from the House. What's that old saying about doors and asses??
CHEERS to D-Day. Today is the 62nd anniversary of the largest amphibious landing in history is today. Now that was an invasion based on good intel. But which DVD to watch tonight: all-star `Longest Day' or harrowing `Saving Private Ryan'?
JEERS to chicken shit. Up in Fort Kent, Maine, six high school seniors---apparently bored with masturbating---snuck into their school and released over 50 baby chicks and geese, which then spent hours crapping all over the place. The prank closed down the school for two days of sanitizing (baby-bird poop can carry salmonella bacteria so it's considered hazardous waste). The students were suspended. Not sure what happened to the chicks...but we hear the cafeteria McNuggets tasted mighty fresh yesterday.
JEERS to chores we hate no matter how easy they are. 95 years ago, the first washer/dryer combo went on sale for the first time. Followed by the first husbands to totally ignore it.
CHEERS to My Preeecious. 29 years ago, the first personal computer---Apple II---went on sale. In today's dollars, it cost about $3,000. Their original ads seem quaint today. Our favorite stars Ben Franklin (he's obviously blogging). Go on...give your machine a smooch.
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Two Years Ago in C&J: June 6, 2004:
CHEERS to Tenet's exit. CIA chief gets---as Bob Woodward would say---"Slayaam Dunked." He says he's leaving for "personal reasons." Yeah...recovery time after he gets all those daggers surgically removed from his back.
JEERS to delusions of grandeur. Condi Rice says that one day her husb...I mean, President Bush, will be compared to Franklin Roosevelt and Winston Churchill. Only insofar as he'll also be rotting in a coffin.
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And just one more...
CHEERS to seeing the forest for the trees. The lefty blogosphere is apoplectic about Bush's endorsement yesterday of a constitutional amendment outlawing same-sex marriage. C&J agrees with Steve Young at HuffPost. It's time to let that brittle parchment stretch its legs a bit:
[W]ith all the men marrying men and women marrying women, the sanctity of marriage would suffer so immeasurably that there would leave little time or opportunity for Rush Limbaugh to keep getting married. Is that something future wives waiting to be future divorcees of el Rushbo would want?
We must focus on the country's vital objectives. The sooner we stop gays from marrying the sooner we can bring the troops home; the sooner we stop desecrating the flag, the sooner that the Homeland Security Department can become competent and keep bureaucracy from desecrating the safety of Americans at home.
Let us no longer let gays nor flag burners divide our country. Let's give that job to the Constitution.
Can we go after the gypsies next?
Floor's open...what are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless Testimonial:
"Apparently all across the land, teenagers with a few hundred grand to burn are asking themselves: 'Do I buy a new sports car or read Cheers and Jeers?'"
---Ottawa Sun columnist Greg Weston
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