Change the F*cking Spelling of My Handle, Kos!

This is it, Kos.  I've had it.  Hear that?  HAD IT.  WITH YOU.  DAMN, HOW DO I MAKE THESE ALL CAPS GO AWAY.  MAKE THEM GO AWAY, KOs.  Hey, did you do that, or did I?  If you did it, then you can damned well change the spelling of my name.  

I've tried emailing you.  Daily.  For weeks.  I've been polite.  I've been explicit in my instructions.  But you won't change the freaking spelling of my only handle here at Kos.  

What is it with you, anyway?  Some kind of freaking fascist fascination with orthographic hegemony?  We choose our names and then we're stuck with them?   It's bullshit, and I won't stand for it.

And another thing.  The color scheme.  What the hell were you thinking?  It looks like hell in here!  I hate it.  CHANGE IT!!!!!!!!

AND WHY THE--OH SHIT.  TAKE OFF THE FREAKING ALL CAPS, KOS!  I said, oh thanks.  Where was I?  Oh, yeah.  Why the hell are diaries on the right, instead of on the left.  Are you telling me that you're to the Left of me?  Well, I'm telling you that you aren't.  It's bullshit!  

I know I'm going to get flamed for this diary, because the people here are sheep, and lemmings, and sloths, and nematodes.  Yeah, I'm talking to you, Dr. Darksyde, BfD!  Mr. Smarty Pants Nematode.  This freaking place is a freaking fascist ark of animals--and not just any animals, but the ones that usually come off looking poorly in fables.  

Change my damned spelling!!!!!  I want to be

dem  in  va UPDATE: So, Kos, it seems you're too scared to let diarists recommend their own diaries multiple times! Freaking control freak, with your gaggle of bad animal types.

•  Because DMFAK is crashing my browser now...

  

  by hyperbolic pants explosion on Thu Aug 03, 2006 at 04:10:33 PM PDT

  •  HA HA HA HA HA

    That pic has me laughing so hard that there's tears rolling down my face!

    by Reel Woman on Thu Aug 03, 2006 at 04:14:30 PM PDT

    •  Steal it.

      Y'all can steal that pic to your heart's content.

      by hyperbolic pants explosion on Thu Aug 03, 2006 at 04:36:29 PM PDT

  •  oh he WISHES.....

    not before August 8th, you asshole....

    by Buffalo Girl on Thu Aug 03, 2006 at 04:16:18 PM PDT

  •  OMG...

    hysterical!  

    by Caldonia on Thu Aug 03, 2006 at 04:19:46 PM PDT

  •  That is f*ing hilarious!

    Oh, my. I'm laughing so goddamn hard. Best thing that happened to me all day. Thanks.

    by DrReason on Thu Aug 03, 2006 at 05:06:07 PM PDT

  •  Now THAT account, I believe Kos WOULD delete. n/t

    by cowgirl on Thu Aug 03, 2006 at 08:19:22 PM PDT

•  I want kos to do my fucking dishes n/t

  by rhubarb on Thu Aug 03, 2006 at 04:11:02 PM PDT

  •  And

    walk my dog and do the laundry and when in f*** is he going to wash my damn car?

    by BrenP on Thu Aug 03, 2006 at 04:12:56 PM PDT

    •  How about mowing my lawn too? n/t

      by akeitz on Thu Aug 03, 2006 at 04:14:44 PM PDT

      •  I Think You Mean

        YOUR FUCKING LAWN!

        ;)

        by RNinNC on Thu Aug 03, 2006 at 05:30:33 PM PDT

        •  And,

          my FUCKING STALLS need cleaned!!!!!!!!!!!!

          by emmasnacker on Thu Aug 03, 2006 at 06:10:59 PM PDT

  •  And this litterbox could sure use some...

    ... fucking scooping!

    by hyperbolic pants explosion on Thu Aug 03, 2006 at 04:13:49 PM PDT

    •  I'm REALLY PISSSEd that Kos

      hasn't payed off my creidt cards yet, the little fucker.

      by Buffalo Girl on Thu Aug 03, 2006 at 04:15:11 PM PDT

      •  Hell

        Go big! Why hasn't he paid my f'ing mortgage. I am so f'ing tired of making these damn payments.

        by BrenP on Thu Aug 03, 2006 at 04:19:10 PM PDT

      •  Please Buffalo Girl

        Please send me that hilarious PC-death rant animation, or tell me where I can get it?

        Please? I'll be your best friend. Signed, your new f-ing best friend,
        John

        by mmontanaman on Thu Aug 03, 2006 at 05:56:01 PM PDT

        •  you can click on it

          and download it to your desktop and pull it into photobucket. that's what I did.

          by Buffalo Girl on Thu Aug 03, 2006 at 06:24:54 PM PDT

    •  damn

      I just took care of that,
      should have waited. But Kos is definitely going to have to drag a string around the apartment for a while.

      by HiBob on Thu Aug 03, 2006 at 04:36:20 PM PDT

•  Kos....

  MAKE GEORGE BUSH GO AWAY....AND DICK CHENEY TOO!!! COME ON MOTHERFUCKER...MAKE HIM GO AWAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

  WAHHHHHHHHHHHHH

  by michael1104 on Thu Aug 03, 2006 at 04:12:18 PM PDT

•  My House

  And how come he hasn't come over to paint my house yet?

  by Audio Guy on Thu Aug 03, 2006 at 04:12:23 PM PDT

•  Why can't Kos change my fucking tire?

  This thread is much more fun than that troll's version!

  by shayera on Thu Aug 03, 2006 at 04:12:33 PM PDT

•  needs more cowbell

  

  and maybe a little salt, too.

  by Buffalo Girl on Thu Aug 03, 2006 at 04:13:16 PM PDT

  •  Okay, I'm behind

    I admit it. But when BiPM started the cowbell thing, he gave a link once and I was too busy to follow it, and now this is all over like budyharma's ponies (spelling?), and I feel so out of touch.

    So what's up with the cowbells?

    by bmaples on Thu Aug 03, 2006 at 05:34:36 PM PDT

  •  Et en francais....

    by eej on Thu Aug 03, 2006 at 05:36:00 PM PDT

•  Yeah!!!

  

  . . . and I really wish he'd feed that cats, too!  Oh, and don't forget . . . fresh water!

  by Dreaming of Better Days on Thu Aug 03, 2006 at 04:14:41 PM PDT

  •  What about the litter box? n/t

    by ek hornbeck on Thu Aug 03, 2006 at 04:15:46 PM PDT

    •  Thank you, ek, you always

      look out for me.  I appreciate that.

      Yeah . . . litter duty would be nice, too!  Waaaaa . . .!"  

      by Dreaming of Better Days on Thu Aug 03, 2006 at 04:19:52 PM PDT

  •  do what I say

    or else I'm sicking Sugar Ray Pootie on ya!

    
    

    

    by AlyoshaKaramazov on Thu Aug 03, 2006 at 05:16:58 PM PDT

•  You should be Dem in Nut House.

  by Intercaust on Thu Aug 03, 2006 at 04:15:32 PM PDT

  •  re:Also

    Kos needs to change the spelling of panache, dirndl, and phlegm.  They're all bullshit, and I'm sick of it.

    Also: bass clarinet.  Someone tell me what the fuck a fucking fish has to do with a woodwind instrument!!

    I don't want any freaking mojo from any sheep, lemmings, gulls, mice.  Nor from any of you that have exoskeletons instead of spines.  You know who the fuck you are.

    If you want to give me mojo, you need to submit an essay explaining how you aren't one of the bad animals.

    by deminva on Thu Aug 03, 2006 at 04:20:38 PM PDT

    •  Kos

      is writing my essay for me.

      by BrenP on Thu Aug 03, 2006 at 04:22:01 PM PDT

    •  heh

      I can fuck with your signature, too, deminva! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! -- Kos

      **cackle**

      by Reel Woman on Thu Aug 03, 2006 at 04:35:56 PM PDT

•  Please, PLEASE

  Stop the madness. This is the last countdown to the CT-Sen primary - and we're spending our time navel-gazing again?

  No.

  by PsiFighter37 on Thu Aug 03, 2006 at 04:16:07 PM PDT

  •  it's blowing off steam

    it's all good. It won't last. We've been on Lieberloser Patrol all day.

    by Buffalo Girl on Thu Aug 03, 2006 at 04:18:08 PM PDT

    •  So fuckin' what?

      I don't care if the new poll shows us ahead 13 points.

      We're on the cusp of an historic moment in politics. You don't fucking open the kitchen door until they are begging to get some fresh air.

      by PsiFighter37 on Thu Aug 03, 2006 at 04:19:52 PM PDT

      •  Hey man

        Have to tell you how much I admire you for debunking a phony accusation against Lieberman in that thread this morning (which I just got to read).

        Our integrity is the most precious thing we own. I am energized for the future of our party when we have people like you.

        Oh yeah, thanks for your hard and good work for Ned too.

        by Clem Yeobright on Thu Aug 03, 2006 at 04:26:26 PM PDT

        •  Thanks

          But don't thank me. Thank my good friend on the Lieberman campaign for bothering to call me from their office to tell me what's going on. I kind of feel bad for her, considering how the campaign's going down in flames.

          by PsiFighter37 on Thu Aug 03, 2006 at 04:28:30 PM PDT

          •  'Win at any cost'

            is so prevalent an attitude, you could have just stayed silent, of course.  You didn't. Hat tip!

            by Clem Yeobright on Thu Aug 03, 2006 at 04:31:13 PM PDT

      •  what exactly would you like us to be doing

        at this precise moment? are you doing this in all the rest of the non-CT diaries, too?  I ain't got any money, I ain't got any friends or family in Connecticut, I can't go volunteer there. I got no news on the race.  What do you want?

        by Buffalo Girl on Thu Aug 03, 2006 at 04:26:30 PM PDT

        •  To each their own

          I'd rather focus on what's coming up instead of blowing off steam. I'm a fairly intense person by nature.

          by PsiFighter37 on Thu Aug 03, 2006 at 04:27:42 PM PDT

          •  well then go do that

            I understand, and I for one am glad you are focusing on it and have the ability to go volunteer on the race, and that you have been writing great diaries about it.  Thank god for you, honestly.

            by Buffalo Girl on Thu Aug 03, 2006 at 04:29:43 PM PDT

          •  re:I Appreciate That

            I happen to be typing while my two- and three-year-olds bounce around the living room.  I actually had to interrupt my typing just now to help "with the baby arm" of a doll we're dressing.

            I'll be calling CT Dems for MoveOn most nights between now and Tuesday.  

            So can I please, please just be a complete freaking imbecile for a few minutes here?

            By the way, thanks for setting us straight about the NJ college Republicans and Joe, woe is me!

            by deminva on Thu Aug 03, 2006 at 04:34:38 PM PDT

            •  Haven't done a good job

              Too many people are paranoid as fuck. As someone who's been here for 2+ years, I thought people might trust me a little.

              by PsiFighter37 on Thu Aug 03, 2006 at 04:37:53 PM PDT

              •  can you link to that?

                I missed the de-bunking. What's the story?

                by Buffalo Girl on Thu Aug 03, 2006 at 04:40:11 PM PDT

                •  My diary...

                  here.

                  by PsiFighter37 on Thu Aug 03, 2006 at 04:43:57 PM PDT

                  •  thanks

                    by Buffalo Girl on Thu Aug 03, 2006 at 04:51:08 PM PDT

              •  re:I Hear You

                but I guess that's why the first 36 PsiFighters got sick of Kos's bullshit and took off.  In cyber-vee formation.

                by deminva on Thu Aug 03, 2006 at 04:41:45 PM PDT

        •  Look at my navel!

          It's an innie! May I ask again for the animation?

          J

          by mmontanaman on Thu Aug 03, 2006 at 05:59:24 PM PDT

          •  this one?

            

            by Buffalo Girl on Thu Aug 03, 2006 at 06:17:10 PM PDT

      •  Dude, chill

        We can't all work 24/7. I've been doing enough of that this summer. If we want to take a few minutes to enjoy ourselves, we will. If you don't want to do the same, keep working.

        by wiscmass on Thu Aug 03, 2006 at 04:29:06 PM PDT

  •  re:Dude

    That's not how you spell pissy.

    What is this, a freaking epidemic of bad spelling!!!!!!!!

    by deminva on Thu Aug 03, 2006 at 04:22:53 PM PDT

    •  That makes no sense n/t

      by PsiFighter37 on Thu Aug 03, 2006 at 04:25:23 PM PDT

  •  I'm just in from work

    my regular job, not the 2 pick ups I'll be working for the next 2 weeks, keeping me gone from home for 12 hour days. I was given a written "counseling" that was a railroad job to cover my boss' ass, said piece of paper fucking any chance that I might have to get a job in the same field. I can no longer actually teach, or act normal at the job, as I do not know if they just needed one piece of paper, slap somebody around a little for the big bosses, or if there is a demand for a head to actually roll. If that is the case, it will be mine, on trumped up bullshit.
    I have to go out in the dark in a couple of minutes, with my pistol in hand, do chores one handed, due to a nut case that has been around and entering houses and robbing folks in the neighborhood. SWAT teams out today, yesterday and the day before looking for the motherfucker, he got away from them again today. He has not hurt anybody yet, but is stealing drugs and alcohol, and the feeling is that it is just a matter of time before he does.
    So I'm looking at a couple of hilarious diaries. I laughed tonight for the first time in days.
    I like and respect what you write here, but ferchrist, go away, back to the diaries that you want to read. Leave those who need a break, on break.
    I'll be back to laugh some more, once I get out and get my chores done, hopefully without running into the creeping psycho. Geesh.

    by emmasnacker on Thu Aug 03, 2006 at 06:30:12 PM PDT

•  Is this a record?

  Is this the first time a GBCW diary has actually spawned an overflow thread?

  by hyperbolic pants explosion on Thu Aug 03, 2006 at 04:16:09 PM PDT

  •  Two

    Check out Tamifah's diary, just a couple up from this one on the recent list.

    by wiscmass on Thu Aug 03, 2006 at 04:29:38 PM PDT

•  I loved it! I read that other diary

  earlier... still laughing at it!  She didn't stay here long did she? 3 diaries and this last one had more comments than most of the whole day!  Wait till the last of the month when it hits the most active list!

  LOL>>>> DAM CAPS!!!!!

  by pinkpanther on Thu Aug 03, 2006 at 04:17:12 PM PDT

•  Change this post right now

  and change the title while you're at it!

  and change the dday is a putz.

  D'oh!  The Sith Lord Kos did it!

  by dday on Thu Aug 03, 2006 at 04:20:00 PM PDT

•  Right on!

  I've always hated orange myself.

  by lesliet on Thu Aug 03, 2006 at 04:20:04 PM PDT

•  'Delete Yourself Campaign'..LOL

  love the tag!  HAHAHAHAHAHA!

  by peaceandprogress on Thu Aug 03, 2006 at 04:21:02 PM PDT

•  I am a RABID NEMATODE!

  Damn that Kos controlling my CaPsLoCk key (stop toying with me, dammit!)

  I'm pretty sure Kos spends most of his time editing our posts and misspelling words we spelled correctly (we know we did!) just to make us look foolish. I mean, like what else does he have to do?  Frankly, I suspect that Kos is addicted to this site . . .

  by Clem Yeobright on Thu Aug 03, 2006 at 04:22:43 PM PDT

•  I Interrupt The Revelry W/A Serious Question...

  CAN you change your screen-name??

  When I registered, I could not think of a clever handle, so I just used my name.

  Now, with some of my students (and God forbid, some of their parents--if they are Repubs!!) on this site looking around, I was thinking my full name was not the most clever thing.

  So, is there a way out for me :)?

  by Steve Singiser on Thu Aug 03, 2006 at 04:23:33 PM PDT

  •  Tell the truth.

    You're just embarrassed about your little Project Runway problem.
    :-D

    by hyperbolic pants explosion on Thu Aug 03, 2006 at 04:26:29 PM PDT

    •  Absolutely, Freaking, Hilarious!!!!

      After last night, my wife and I both said the same thing--we have absolutely no clue about who will be in the Top 3 when all is said and done.

      Anyway, I thought that was just between us, H.P.E. :)

      by Steve Singiser on Thu Aug 03, 2006 at 04:36:34 PM PDT

      •  what happens on DKOS....

        ....stays on google....buwahahaha~|!!!

        by Buffalo Girl on Thu Aug 03, 2006 at 04:37:43 PM PDT

        •  Well, Then, That Settles It...

          I am COMPLETELY fucked.

          "Maybe I oughta look into truck driving school. Hey, Mav, what was the number for that school....Truck Masters??? Think I might need that...."

          A very young Anthony Edwards in Top Gun

          by Steve Singiser on Thu Aug 03, 2006 at 04:39:19 PM PDT

          •  Hey, Mr Teacher!

            You said "fuck!"

            Signed,

            A Concerned Parent

            by InquisitiveRaven on Thu Aug 03, 2006 at 04:53:46 PM PDT

            •  Did I?? Aw, shit!!! N/T

              by Steve Singiser on Thu Aug 03, 2006 at 05:18:33 PM PDT

        •  No kidding,

          I just googled ErrrrrrrrrrrrrrrinF. Not very interesting, really.
          Did you mean Erin?

          by emmasnacker on Thu Aug 03, 2006 at 06:40:24 PM PDT

  •  nope

    My understanding is once an account performs an action of some sort (e.g. rates or posts a comment) it becomes technically impossible (or rather, incredibly difficult) to change the username. Your best bet is to register a new account.

    by Jett on Thu Aug 03, 2006 at 04:30:14 PM PDT

    •  just make sure you retire the old one

      or you'll be in sockpuppet territory, which is against the rules.

      by Buffalo Girl on Thu Aug 03, 2006 at 04:36:08 PM PDT

      •  Nah, It's All Good...

        I'll just stick to my guns and run the risk of being dragged in front of the school board :).....

        by Steve Singiser on Thu Aug 03, 2006 at 04:37:24 PM PDT

        •  re:I Hear You

          In all honesty, I've been trying unsuccessfully to delete a couple of old diaries for months.  They date from late October 2004 and gloat about how happy we're all going to be when Kerry kicks Bush's ass.

          Kos, give me back my memory hole, you bastard!

          by deminva on Thu Aug 03, 2006 at 04:44:39 PM PDT

•  Feed the Pooties, Kos; FEED THE POOTIES!!!!

  arrrrgggggggghhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  

  by PhillyGal on Thu Aug 03, 2006 at 04:25:46 PM PDT

  •  I wonder when

    Kos will learn how to frickin' herd the pooties.

    Goddammit.

    by smugbug on Thu Aug 03, 2006 at 04:32:48 PM PDT

•  SNARK CENTRAL!

  This is the greatest site on the Internet. Proof positive that progressives are so much funnier and creative than conservatives. They don't know what they're missing.

  by pinkhighway on Thu Aug 03, 2006 at 04:26:57 PM PDT

•  Do It Yourself Diaries

  Just fill in the blanks...

  {Blank} My Fucking {Blank}, Kos!

  Carry on...

  by Rippe on Thu Aug 03, 2006 at 04:32:16 PM PDT

  •  Yikes!

    That just begs to go downhill, fast.

    by Webster on Thu Aug 03, 2006 at 04:52:39 PM PDT

•  Hmmmm...who is

  this Kos?  And why doesn't he do a fuckin' thing?  

  He's starting to piss me off....whoever he is......

  Hehehehe

  by smugbug on Thu Aug 03, 2006 at 04:33:46 PM PDT

•  Open the door, Kos; LET THE CAT OUT!!!

  

  by PhillyGal on Thu Aug 03, 2006 at 04:34:29 PM PDT

  •  Thanks for the cat pix

    Damn, I love cats. Who liberates their accounts?

    by DrReason on Thu Aug 03, 2006 at 05:05:09 PM PDT

•  DailyKosaqstan might be moving toward civil war

  TalkingHead - Mr. Kos, is DailyKosaqstan heading toward civil war? Some say there is already a civil war going on.

  Markos - Oh, I don't know.

  TalkingHead - Mr. Lieberman?

  JoeMental - Please call me Senator...

  Markos - Um, you lost.

  JoeMental - (To Markos) Well that was your far-left-wing conspiracy. (To TV.) All I know is that when we invaded DailyKosaqstan, all accounts were liberated and we were greeted with flowers and candy. The liberals lied about Words of Mass Delusion and they were not able to handle the liberation of the accounts. So I talked to my new boss Katherine Harris and we will introduce a bill to amend the Constitution so that all accounts have equal representation.

  by DrReason on Thu Aug 03, 2006 at 05:04:40 PM PDT

  •  Are imploding yet?

    I'm still waiting for that rapture that FoxNews said was acomin'.

    by Sunqueen212 on Thu Aug 03, 2006 at 06:47:52 PM PDT

    •  I's the rap-ture, yo.

      Uh-huh uh-huh, yo check this out, yo, I'm the rapture. I strike you down with great vengeance, yo.

      by DrReason on Thu Aug 03, 2006 at 08:55:26 PM PDT

•  get a life

  by pimpmydiary on Thu Aug 03, 2006 at 05:18:48 PM PDT

•  Change the LENGTH of mine

  Spelling, shmelling.  I want Kos to change the length of my handle.  About ten inches should be good...

  by david78209 on Thu Aug 03, 2006 at 05:22:13 PM PDT

  •  BLUSH! It would be better than good . . . (n/t)

    by Rita in DC on Thu Aug 03, 2006 at 05:43:36 PM PDT