Rewriting History: Bush style

Article 3 Geneva conventions--its ambiguous so I guess I'll put my mind to the problem and say...
1a.  Secret prisons...check
2a.  Use of <->torture</-> um..abusive interrogation okie dokie....check
   1.  Waterboarding....check
   2.  induced hypothermia....check
   3.  clearing brush at my Midland, TX ranch in July and August...check
   4.  forced to listen to my voice....check

Miranda-- its old, its outdated, hmmmm
"You have no rights, you must remain silent whilst we build the case against you, try you without jury or evidence, and convict and sentence you to death."  

Ah thats better.

Bill Of Rights-- too many loose ends
1.  You must believe as I believe and then, after signing an oath of fealty to the office of the president you may possess a firearm.

2.  There will be no freedom of press, no freedom of religion; however, media outlets who ABC (tie) themselves to state sponsored misinformation will be allowed to retain their media credentials.  Christianity is the religion of the New United States of America.  Muslims, Hindus, Bhuddists, and Jew may continue to practice their religion so long as it is practiced within the confines of their homes, they disavow ownership of Mosques, Temples, etc and refrain from the recruitment or conversion of new members.  Atheists shall find no aid and comfort and any state or entity who would harbor an atheist will be bombed forthwith.

3.  Husbands and wives are encouraged to indict one another if for the betterment of our Homeland.

4.  The Ten Commandments shall hold precedence over activist legislation.

5.  Individuals are not only encouraged to, but can be coerced, into incriminating themselves.

Fives enough, whew, thats some hard work right there but thank god I'm protecting the lives of all Americans by simplifying the people's right to choice.  How do you like these apples Mr. ACLU liberal guy, if it was up to you Iran would be the 50th state, er, 49th.

Its my job to protect.  Its hard, but I think I've made all the right decisions, and I stand by those decisions, decisions that make sense in that they protect Americans by limiting the non-lethal mistakes they can make.  

"But Mr. President, don't you think rewriting things like Miranda and the Bill of Rights oversteps Executive power?"

I know you think so but you can go on making hypotheticals but I say we need these changes for our country to have a chance at survival.  The terrorists man, those Islamofascists, they want to suicide bomb you then have a shot at your virgin daughter in the afterlife.  Don't you see that?  Can't you see?  Its unimaginable that Americans should think for themselves when it comes to whats best for them, whats best for keeping their family safe.  This government has spared no effort in trying to protect Americans from their own kindness.  Where some of you see potential friends this government sees potential enemies.  If only you knew what I knew, could see what I see, then you would all understand and its important for the American people to realize this.  By the by you just violated the New Second Amendment.  Boys take him away.  Next question please."

"Mr President, Tiny Blows, Fox News and  chief WH Propagandist...Um, may I just say, its about time we had a man of clarity in a position to enact meaningful legislation, legislation that will allow America to secure its borders from within and from those who want to harm us from abroad.  Bravo."

Why thank you Tiny, at least someone isn't confused and immoral.  God Bless you Blows.

•  so simple a thing

  can be cathartic.  

  Add your favorite Bush revisions, made up or real.

  by Bill O Rights on Fri Sep 15, 2006 at 09:57:32 PM PDT

•  Inalienable

  "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men."

  And this is a case worth revisitation:

  John Lilburne was arrested upon information by an informer acting for The Stationers' Company and brought before the Court of Star Chamber. Instead of being charged with an offense he was asked how he pleaded. John Lilburne demanded to be presented in English with the charges brought against him (much of the written legal work of the time was in Latin). The Court refused Lilburne's request. The court then threw him in prison and again brought him back to court and demanded a plea. Again John Lilburne demanded to know the charges brought against him.

  The authorities then resorted to flogging him with a three-thonged whip on his bare back, as he was dragged by his hands tied to the rear of an ox cart from Fleet Prison to the pillory at Westminster. He was then forced to stoop in the pillory where he still managed to campaign against his censors, while distributing more unlicensed literature to the crowds. He was then gagged. Finally he was thrown in prison. He was taken back to the court and again imprisoned.

  This began the first in a long series of trials that lasted throughout his life for what John Lilburne called his "freeborn rights". As a result of these trials a growing number of supporters began to call him "Freeborn John" and they even struck a medal in his honor to that effect. It is this trial that has been cited by constitutional jurists and scholars in the United States of America as being one of the historical foundations of the Fifth Amendment to the United States Constitution. It is also cited within the 1966 majority opinion of Miranda v. Arizona by the U.S. Supreme Court.

  by NewDirection on Fri Sep 15, 2006 at 10:12:39 PM PDT

•  If Bush got caught robbing a bank...

  The President gave a short statement.

  Look. We all have to withdraw money from the bank, right? Am I right? I mean, if you and your family cannot withdraw money from a bank, what would you do? I mean how would you put clothes on your table?

  But Mr. President, you and Jenna got drunk and ROBBED the bank.

  I don't think anyone can disagree that it we left money  in the banks and didn't withdraw it...that's exactly what the terrorists would want. Let me ask you, what would have happened after 9/11 if we couldn't even take money out of the bank? Right? Right? Look. People take money out of bank in every country of the world.

  But Mr. President...

  Look, I'm not gonna let you destroy the economy of this country and the entire world by not letting anyone take any money out of any banks. Is that what you want? Is it? Is it? Let me ask you. Do you have kids? Do you?

  Yeah.

  You want 'em dead?

  No

  Then shut the fuck up about robbing banks. Okay? Got  me? Understand.

  Uh-huh.

  by daulton on Fri Sep 15, 2006 at 10:17:11 PM PDT

  •  nice skit

    careful though, i thought i broke somethin during the laughter fit

    by Bill O Rights on Sat Sep 16, 2006 at 12:44:35 AM PDT

•  George Bush has big cajones

  That's why the Republicons love him.

  They know he's an alcoholic.  They know he cheated on his wife.  They know he used to snort cocaine a lot.  They know he paid for his girlfriend to get an abortion.  They know he's a spoiled brat who wouldn't qualify to be the town dogcatcher if he wasn't GHWBush's son.

  But he's a true believer.  He favors the privileged over the rest of America.  He favors America over the rest of the world.  He favors himself over the rest of the human race.

  And they love him for it.  They always will.

  by JonFerguson on Fri Sep 15, 2006 at 10:17:19 PM PDT

  •  Hail the Chimperor! Alpha monkey rules! n/t

    by daulton on Fri Sep 15, 2006 at 10:19:30 PM PDT

•  As a guest on Friday's Olbermann conjectured...

  ...Bush is trying to change the law before he gets charged with his crimes.

  by daulton on Fri Sep 15, 2006 at 10:18:29 PM PDT

  •  i would agree

    but i'd also say these pathological fucks truly believe that they are untouchable, divinely inspired and hopelessly unrepentant

    by Bill O Rights on Sat Sep 16, 2006 at 12:49:36 AM PDT

•  Preventing History

  Actually, Dear Leader used an executive order to unilaterally revise the Presidential Records Act to make it very difficult for scholars to access records of prior administrations.  Scholars have to wait 12 years AND get the permission of the sitting president at the time the request is made.  Guess what?  This means that access to W's daddy's administration's records is entirely at the discretion of W.  No review of the dirty backroom deals with players in the middle east and dealing with Saddam.  

  It's just sickening that this president, the least intelligent and capable of them all, has had such amazingly unquestioned power to truly alter history.

  by newhorizon on Fri Sep 15, 2006 at 10:36:47 PM PDT

  •  amazingly unquestioned

    thanks to the almighty liberal media

    by Bill O Rights on Sat Sep 16, 2006 at 12:52:19 AM PDT