Well here it is. Another year ending, another New Year's Eve wasted. Sure, I'd like to go out and hit the downtown Chicago nightlife on this dank and dreary night, but thanks to the NFL, the Bears, Packers game has been moved to 7:15. Which will no doubt cause intense congestion throughout the Chicago metropolitian area. Nonetheless, I'm grateful for still being alive. Still, as a Graduate of Columbia College with a B.A. in Radio, I'm on the neverending quest for that elusive job. And we all know that finding anything that is remotely close to happiness in George Bush's America is like finding a needle in a haystack.
I don't make New Year's Resolutions. Mostly because I feel that some things will eventually fall into place, although I do have ideas on how to make necessary changes in my life. If I do have one, just one New Year's Resolution it's hoping to turn my television or read a newspaper without having to see or hear the most overhyped, overexposed, annoying individuals that make this country absoultely pathetic.
So, in no particular order, I've decided to come up with a list of people that need to go away as we approach the new year:
1.) Britney Spears: You know things have gone from bad to worse when you dump a loser like Kevin Federline and then align yourself with a no talent, attention whore like Paris Hilton. Not to mention that nearly half the world has seen what you look like without underwear, and your parenting skills are equal that of Michael Jackson's. The bottom line is, Ms. Spears' fifteen minutes should've been up the minute she kissed Madonna in an attempt to revive her and the material girl's sagging career.
2.) The Conservative Radio talk show host: The talentless pool of Right-Wing noise makers reached new lows in 2006 with Rush Limbaugh smearing Michael J. Fox, Sean Hannity saying that voting to keep Nancy Pelosi from being House Speaker was "worth dying for," and Glenn Beck questioning the patriotism of incoming Minnesota Congressman, Keith Ellison, the first Muslim ever elected to the house. Conservative talk show hosts are only here on this planet to enable politicians like George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, Tom DeLay, etc, etc. They offer no solutions and their rhetoric is responsible for the bitter divide in Washington D.C. A call to tune these people out is needed and fast.
3.) Rosie O'Donnell: The minute Barbara Walters hired this loudmouth, I lost all interest in "The View." Claiming Kelly Ripa is a homophobe and picking a fight with Donald Trump only proves that Rosie's considerable talent is calling out individuals who are just as annoying as her.
4.) Mel Gibson: It went downhill when he shouted anti-semitic remarks as he walked along the "sugar tits" highway. But it was his pathetic mea culpa to Diane Sawyer that greatly concerns me. Instead of taking full responsibility for his actions he put the blame squarely on people who had harsh criticisms for his film the "Passion of the Christ." Mel, turn around and crawl back into the hole you came out of.
5.) Ann Coulter: The act is growing thin. We all know you hate liberals and people who speak out against authority, but can you do us a favor and eat a steak.
6.) Republicans who speak on behalf of Personal Responsiblity: The Mark Foley saga might seem funny at first, but when you have members of his own party blaming George Soros and Bill Clinton, as well as bringing up an old scandal that involved Gerry Studds, it's quite apparent that Personal Responsiblity and Republicans should never get together on any other day. Plus, politicians who politicize personal responsiblity will eventually be found out. Cause all of us (including Republicans) have skeletons in the closet.
7.) Kevin Federline: Do I need to say anything else?
8.) O.J. Simpson: When you crawl back into that hole you came out of can you please take Judith Regan, Rupert Murdoch and Bill O'Reilly with you?
9.) Lindsay Lohan: Sure you're only true talent is going out to the club and dancing the night away, but can you indulge us on the meaning to the word "adequite." Is that some sort of slang you picked up at a nightclub, because I haven't heard it in any of the clubs I go to.
Hopefully we can make 2007 a pretty decent year without having to read another story about these individuals.
Happy New Year.