I promised a "nature vs. nurture" diary, but that’s not happening. Sorry.
Today’s diary is dedicated to Prince Manvendra Singh Gohil of India,
who came out as a gay man last year.
His decision to come out caused his family to disown him and the public to ridicule him. At one point, crowds burned photos of him because of his admittance of being gay. Nevertheless, the move he made was nothing short of historic for the South Asian gay rights movement, and the gay rights movement worldwide.
His coming out reminds us here back in the states that coming out is a political issue, for good and for worse. For worse because one's sexuality should never be a "problem" but rather a unique trait to be valued. Good because the more people who come out, the greater acceptance will grow. Mr. Gohil teaches us that for those in America who believe it is not safe to come out, they are right. Just as Mr. Gohil was threatened and denounced, so might anyone who comes out. One must ask however, that even if danger exists, if the benefits outweigh the costs of coming out. The Prince is now a happy out and proud HIV/AIDS activist who is no longer living a lie. Coming out is a personal decision, but a decision that is strongly encouraged. At the very least, if not for the rest of it, do it for yourself and for the sake of your right to live in freedom and happiness. The following letter is dedicated to Prince Manvendra Singh Gohil, thanking him for his activism in the gay rights movement.
Dear Mr. Manvendra Singh Gohil,
I happened to have stumbled upon an article about you in the Los Angeles Times on January 2nd, 2007. There’s so much that I want to share with you, but I should start with a proper introduction. My name is Kevin Ballie and I am South Asian, gay and a passionate gay rights and HIV/AIDS activist. I picked those descriptions because they happen to be some areas that we hold in common. This letter is to thank you. The courage that you have shown in India is an inspiration to myself and many of the South Asian LGBT population of which I am acquainted with in New York City and Washington D.C. Many of the people I know here are still in the closet because they are afraid of what their families and South Asian community will do to them if they come out. To see someone of your stature and visibility as an Indian Prince come out, without the very accepting environment that I am privileged to have in NYC and D.C., is a historic and memorable part of my life. I used to joke with my friends who are still in the closet that it could be worse, "At least we’re not still in India!".
It was always a joke, but a joke that was meant to laugh off something serious, that we know is serious and something that has caused us a lot of frustration and inner turmoil. As a family that is 4th generation part of the South Asian diaspora, my South Asian heritage has always been called into question. My family since leaving India has been South Africans, Guyanese, British, Trinidad and Tobago citizens and Americans. My homosexuality and lack of growing up in a South Asian neighborhood (I grew up in a Jewish neighborhood) further called into question my South Asian identity in the eyes of other desis. I never minded the other reasons for my desiness being doubted, but the fact that being gay was a reason for them to consider me "Un-Indian" always frustrated me. I remember in the days of my first coming out, Indians would always say "There are gay INDIANS!? I thought it was a white thing." I first heard of your coming out on 365gay.com, which is the biggest queer news site in the U.S.
I read the article, taking in every word, and then set out to re-read the article again. I knew India was changing, but I didn’t expect anything like this to happen so soon. I don’t know how many other queer South Asians heard about the news of your coming out, but it was all my gay desi friends and I could talk about for a week here in the U.S. We joked about who would come out next (I’m really hoping on Arjun Rampal haha). The impact that your coming out had on me was tremendous. I feel such a strong connection again to a place that I once struggled in calling my homeland. We’re in two different situations, but we’re both fighting for the same things in the same areas, and this gives me so much hope for India.
I don’t know how to properly praise you for putting your family ties, inheritance and entire way of life on the line for coming out for something you believe in. I’m inspired by you because you set something off. You’ve set off a chain reaction. I wonder how many gay South Asians found solace and inspiration when hearing your story. How many decided to come out themselves? How many decided to delve into activism themselves? I'm convinced that many of India's future queer activists will always remember the time where you took the courage to stand up and stand proud. In the end, I just want to thank you one last time. I wish you all the best in your activism.
Sincerely,
Kevin Balle
Fellow Activist
UPDATE: E-mail Response from Prince Manvendra Singh Gohil
Dear Kevin,
Thanks a lot for your lovely letter. I am deeply touched. I wanted to actually open the "pandora's box" and wanted people to discuss homosexuality which already exists in our society since bygone era but is considered a taboo and therefore I took this plunge, knowing fully well that it will rock the entire royalty in India, most of whom are either gays or lesbians but wont dare to come out. Convey my good wishes to all your friends in that part of the globe. Take care.
Manvendra
Author's Note: My name is Kevin Ballie, a student at American University (AU). I happen to work at the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender and Ally (GLBTA) Resource Center at AU. My area of activism centers particularly around GLBT activism. My goal is to write diaries on DailyKos as a regular update concerning issues facing the GLBT community. I sincerely hope to gain a readership base of committed GLBT activists and our supporters. Such a base will only enhance DailyKos and provoke greater thought. Just as a note, I may use terms like gay, lesbian,bisexual transgender (GLBT) or queer (a substitute for GLBT).