When I commented, briefly, on my son in another diary, I was asked to tell the whole story. This is it, the best I could do.
I don’t know where to begin or even how to "hook" people into reading this with a great title. I guess I’ll start at the beginning.
In October of 2002, my husband and I took my son to the recruiting office to drop him off for his journey to boot camp. He was healthy, he was fit. 6 foot, 1 inch, 180 pounds. He was scared. Needless to say, I cried all the way home. Still, I thought it would be good for him and enable him to afford college. My father fought in WWII, my husband was in Korea during Vietnam, I was raised to believe that serving your country was the most honorable thing you could do. It still is, but the honor owed our youth is not returned to them once they enter the military machine. I will regret, to my dying day, encouraging my son to join up because of my naïve beliefs.
I must backtrack here a bit. The lies that my son were told started with the recruiter. He promised him a big sign on bonus, an extra stripe when he made it out of boot camp if only he’d sign for 6 years instead of 4. This discussion occurred the day after he turned 18 and without his parents being present. My son signed. He had intentions of making a career of the Air Force anyway. His "big" sign on bonus? After taxes it amounted to little more than $3,000. He was promised more than $13,000. His extra stripe? Didn’t happen.
Once in boot camp, he did well, but in his few letters home, he complained of having knee problems. Once out of boot camp, when he could call me and we could have a good discussion, I bought up his knee problems and asked what had happened to cause them. He told me he was issued ill fitting combat boots and the doctor said that caused his problems, shortly after our discussion, he bought and paid for new boots.
At his next base, he contracted pneumonia several times. This kid had only had a couple of minor health issues growing up-1 ear infection and a black eye caused by running into his friend’s head, and chicken pox.
When he was finally assigned his home base (in Utah) he was ecstatic. He was on his way to being a crew chief! He had many ups and downs and struggles, but he did become a crew chief. One day, while waiting for an F-16 (his specialty) to be bought into the hanger he was hit by said jet. He had his back to it and the ear-phones on and had no idea it was being taxied (is that the right term) was being driven by someone who had no business in the jet. Needless to say, he was knocked flat and got a nice gash on his head. The gash caused the most urgent concern and was treated promptly. Little did he know that his shoulder was damaged, seriously and forever by that. He knew it hurt at the time, of course, but just figured it was a pulled muscle and the pain would go away. It didn’t and worsened. When he finally saw a doctor, he was told he had a torn rotator cuff and would require surgery. His first surgery for it was in January of 2005. He completed a course of Physical Therapy after that surgery and by the time the physical therapy was done, they knew he’d need another surgery. In the meantime, he was riding his bicycle and got hit by a car (car ran a red light), requiring a trip to the emergency room. No serious injury could be pinpointed to that accident, but the general belief is it worsened his shoulder. In January of 2006, he underwent another surgery, this one much more serious for they were trying a new procedure to rebuild the entire shoulder. They took a ligament out of his knee and something else out of his chest to do so. Again, Physical Therapy followed. It soon became apparent that this surgery did not work. He can (when moving his arm back) throw his scapula out several inches. It makes me want to cringe when I see it and it is still causing him pain. In March of 2006, he was rushed to the hospital for an emergency appendectomy. In between all of this he had been issued an "article 15" for bad debt for he had gotten caught up with the payday loan places. I need not go into detail how easy it is to ruin your credit and how hard it is to pay those places back. He lost a stripe and was told if he stayed out of trouble, he would get it back. He also had to pay back his raise from the time he made senior airman to the time he lost his stripe. That was in April of 2006. He had also received several other minor offense notices previous to the Article 15. You know the type, dorm room dirty, late for duty, nothing major. In late May, he was told that he was going to be given a general discharge under honorable circumstances. He was told it was for his offenses, I think I know better. I believe is is because he was not fit for service because of his injuries. He fought the discharge up and down, the best he could. His JAG officer advised taking it, telling him he could easily upgrade to honorable 6 months later for he had served well over 3 years. He finally went to the base commander to talk about his discharge and when he said he’d agree to the discharge if he could get a medical discharge, she told him, "We will not give you a medical discharge, there are no explanations necessary. It is enough for you to know that it is my job to save the Air Force money." Well he left that meeting still undecided, he could have fought some more. He was sharing a house with a SGT friend of his and he talked it over with him. His friend told him it may be a blessing in disguise and to take the discharge. My son finally did take the discharge. As a side note, my paranoia about the military now has me thinking they encouraged his SGT friend to tell my son to take the discharge.
Fast forward to more recent events. When my son went to the VA’s office in our county, he signed up and started the proceedings necessary to get his name and records into their records. This was in September of 2006. His shoulder and symptoms in his arm steadily worsened and because he cannot get a job in that condition and therefore has no health insurance, he was eligible to go to the VA hospital an hour+ away from here. First, they told him the numbness in his hand was caused by carpal tunnel. That may be true, but it is my belief it is caused by nerve damage that occurred during one of his surgeries. When they finally listened to him and took a look at how his scapula extended outward so far they told him they had never seen something so bad. Yes, a great big knot of dread has entered my stomach-permanently, I fear. He has to go for an MRI on January 22nd and than an appointment with a surgeon on February 8th. He has been told that there is a possibility that they may have to staple his scapula to his rib cage, thereby limiting his range of motion in his right arm forever. Yes, he is right-handed. We have made so many trips to the VA since September and the gas costs are killing us, but we do what we must for our children and I won’t complain, for at least, he is alive and home.
In the meantime, his VA counselor is trying to get him some kind of disability payments and she told us if that comes through, he will be eligible for school benefits, too. When he asked her about upgrading his discharge as he was told he could do, she told him because he hadn’t served a full 4 years that wasn’t possible, but if he got the disability, he’d be getting all the benefits anyway. I asked her if it would do any good to put some media attention on this as he wanted an honorable or a medical discharge so badly. After all, he REALLY did earn it and his offenses were so minor. She said to do nothing to call attention to his case right now, for any action we undertook could backfire and he could be denied his benefits and disability. So, they lied to him to get him in and they lied to him to get him out. Big surprise there, huh? Just because he was not injured in Iraq doesn’t mean he wasn’t injured in service to his country. I KNOW he is lucky not to have gone there, I KNOW how much worse things could have been, but the totally crappy way has been treated has me furious and heartsick. I sent them a healthy, well adjusted young man. An overweight (250 pounds) depressed and injured son came back to me. Yes, his weight gain is his fault for he ate as he normally does while recovering from his surgeries and you cannot do that if you cannot move around and exercise. He is depressed for he has had to quit playing hockey and knows that it is probable that he will never play again. Not that he was great at it, just that he loved it. He is depressed that he was treated that way and lied to. He is depressed for he knows that in our state (MI) the chances of him getting a decent job are slim to none without a college degree. We used to be able to depend on the auto industry for decent jobs in our state. As you well know, that is no more. He is depressed that after walking for a mile, his knees hurt. On January 1st of this year, we started dieting together. I figured having a diet buddy would help him and if he could feel better about himself, he would be less depressed. It hurts my heart to see him this way. Anyway, this is just one story out of thousands, I am sure, at how the military treat our young and injured. It is not as tragic as so many others are, but it is OUR story and one we will be dealing with for quite a while now, I am sure. I hope that I have done this right.