Word is coming out that Bush is dotting the "t's" and crossing the "i's" on the speech he will deliver to the nation this Wednesday evening. (No, that is not a mistake in the first sentence. Bush is actually dotting "t's" and crossing "i's"!)
CNN reports:
Sources familiar with Bush's deliberations said White House speechwriters worked "around the clock" over the weekend to prepare the address for the plan's critical unveiling.
Unfortunately for Bush and his team, a copy of the speech was left in a NYC hotel. Earlier today hotel staff found this in the recycling bin under a pile of empty beer bottles and half-chewed pretzel nuggets.
The draft of the speech follows...
Okay, there is no actual leaked draft of Bush's "New Way Forward" speech. But do we really need one?
We all basically know what he is going to say.
Here is my take on the the "New Way Forward" speech Bush will deliver, whittled down to its most salient points...
Good Evening Ladies and Gentlemen,
I would like to start this evening by reminding the nation that we were attacked. We were attacked on September 11, 2001....
Saddam...Saddam bad...Saddam dead...
I had a choice. Either attack Iraq or wait for Iraq to attack us....This is not a war of my making. It is a war that came to me....War is not easy or neat...I appreciate the sacrifice our young men and women are making...
The bad guys are badder than I thought...for that reason I've decided on a N-E-W W-A-Y F-O-R-W-A-R-D [note to readers: this will be the most clearly enunciated phrase of the speech.]
At the request of my generals, of the Congress, and of you dear citizen, I have decided to send 20,000 additional troops to Iraq...
We are also rolling out a new and exciting program that will train Iraqi soldiers. Once these soldiers stand up, our U.S. soldiers will be able to stand down...
I have instructed my successful reconstruction team at State Department to introduce a $1 Billion Jobs Program to the Citizens of Iraq...
Last but not least, I have decided to implement some of the recommendations of the Iraq Study Group Report. I will not talk to Iran or Syria...
I am confident that victory can be achieved...
I would like to end this evening by reminding the nation that we were attacked. We were attacked on September 11, 2001....
Good Night, and don't let the terrorist-bugs bite