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Seems to me that Melanie Morgan is a woman completely lacking in empathy and just plain common decency and manners.

In an effort to help her truly appreciate why her recent ad hominem and hate speech attacks are so offensive, I've simply changed the target of her remarks from Nancy Pelosi - to Laura Bush.  

Still funny, Melanie?  Well, I think it's freakin' hilarious!  I hope you agree!

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transcript link

RODGERS: And where are we starting with this?

MORGAN: We decided to focus on Madame Speaker, Nancy McNastythe First Lady, Pickles McXanax, our dear, dear friend from San FranciscoBackwater, Texas, who is the presumptiveFirst Stepford Wife --

RODGERS: Speaker of the houseFirst Stepford Wife, yeah.

MORGAN: -- speaker of the houseFirst Stepford Wife. And so I -- I have been doing a little bit of research. In fact, I held up on TV, which you won't be able to see when you hear this clip, but I had a three-ring binder of my first pass at my research into the lovely and talented wideeyedNancy eyelift Laura with the laughingeyes Joker's smile.

RODGERS: Yes. Yes.

MORGAN: So --

RODGERS: Laughing face with a smile like the Joker from Batman.

MORGAN: Well, yes

RODGERS: Nancy with the laughing face.-Laura with the Joker's smile.

MORGAN: If you could call it that, I mean.

RODGERS: Withmyeyeswideopen With her botox-frozen face.

MORGAN: Yeah.
[...]
RODGERS: Oh, let's hear it for NancyLaura.

[song: WithMyEyesWideOpen,I'mDreaming "Steve Miller Band's The Joker]

Im a joker
Im a smoker
Im a midnight toker
I sure dont want to hurt no one

Im a picker
Im a grinner
Im a lover
And Im a sinner
I play my music in the sun

Im a joker
Im a smoker
Im a midnight toker
I get my lovin on the run
Wooo wooooo

Youre the cutest thing
That I ever did see
I really love your peaches
Want to shake your tree
Lovey-dovey, lovey-dovey, lovey-dovey all the time
Ooo-eee baby, Ill sure show you a good time

[NOTE: I'm deleting the bulls-eye exchange here for obvious reasons, but we all know what Melanie said about a bulls-eye on Nancy Pelosi.]

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From the November 20 broadcast of KSFO's The Lee Rodgers & Melanie Morgan Program:

BENNER: Couple of others names right now, the buzz, the general feeling, the general conversation. Nancy Pelosi.Laura Bush

[laughter]

MORGAN: ..., and I am putting together my down-and-dirty book on Ms. PelosiMs. Welch-Bush, getting a book proposal, and boy, do I have some good dirt on her driving skills.

BENNER: Yeah?

MORGAN: Ooooh.
...
SUSSMAN: Now, can we talk about Nancy Pelosi'sLaura Bush's new look? She's definitely had some work during those two weeks that she was gone or three weeks or whatever, her eyes have been softened, I don't know if she's got some implants going or a collagen injection or if it's actual surgery, but let's face it, they -- whoever worked on her this time around did a better job than the first time.

BENNER: Yes. Yes, I agree with you.

MORGAN: Well, the first three times.

SUSSMAN: Well, whatever. The first times, plural.

MORGAN: Well, yeah, that wideeyedsurprised white pancake makeup, frozen fake smile, Jack Nicholson-as-the-Joker look of hers

SUSSMAN: Yeah. I mean, they really softened her look.

BENNER: There was a particularly funny moment when she came out last Wednesday or Thursday or whenever it was and... And she was standing off to the side, and she was --

MORGAN: BlinkingClosing her lips?

BENNER: -- trying to blink her eyesclose her lips. And, of course, during her whole talk she never -- her eyeslips never moved. But they -- she's off camera now, and she's, like, trying to get a little moisture going in there, trying to wipe away the dust. And it was painful to watch.

MORGAN: Oh, I know.

BENNER: Like she had to physically go --

SUSSMAN: She didn't know she was on camera.

BENNER: No. And she --

MORGAN: Or maybe she did, and she can't help it.

BENNER: Well, perhaps. But, I mean, it was one of those things where you could see the message in her brain going, "You must ---
blinkclose your lips," and her eyeslips would go, "I'm trying! Aaah!"

SUSSMAN: So she's one of these ladies that's sleeping with her eyesmouth open, right?

MORGAN: Oooh.

BENNER: Oh, I guess. Oh, my goodness.

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Originally posted to JLFinch on Fri Jan 12, 2007 at 02:22 AM PST.

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