Earlier today in Cheers and Jeers, Bill in Portand ME linked to an article about the TSA and monkey helpers. If you clicked through to the article, you would have seen that it was not only about monkey helpers, but all service animals. Y'all had fun with it in C&J, because that's what you do there, and it's OK there I guess, but to those of us who need service animals, it was as funny as a crutch. Mostly because our animals are a crutch for us.
Meet Friday. Friday is my service dog. I have multiple disabilities including agoraphobia, panic attacks and severe osteoarthritis in both knees. I probably would never leave my apartment if I didn't have to take her out. Obviously, I'd never get near a plane without her. That's one of her functions, to get me out of the apartment. She can also open doors for me, pick up things I drop, and help me put my shoes and socks on.
I have had Friday for four years now, and it seems we have to fly at least once a year. Getting through the TSA screening is an ordeal. I can't walk very well without my walker, but of course, I can't use the walker to go through the metal detector. To add insult to injury, of course I have to take my shoes off, and they make me carry Friday through the metal detector. So I can barely walk, and I'm carrying a 40 lb dog in my stocking feet. I wonder if I can sue if I fall and break something. Not only that but I have plates and screws in one arm, that depending on how sensitive the monitor is set, will set off the alarm. And then they have to wand both of us to make sure we aren't carrying concealed weapons. Not my idea of a relaxing start to a flight. And if your flight is delayed and you have to take the dog "outside", you have to go through screening again. Bleaaach!!!
Somebody with a monkey helper is probably in worse shape than I am, probably a quadraplegic. The monkey would pick things up, and could do other things like put a hat on their owner, or adjust glasses. I imagine TSA screening is a worse nightmare for them. In fact, I don't even want to try to imagine it.
So just remember in the future, monkey helpers are as funny as a crutch.