So what do a Mormon, a born-again Kansan, a poor black guy, a double speaking woman, and an angry New England white man have in common???
Well, they’re all running for president of course!!
Sure this is a time for excitement and opportunity – but really some of this is hilarious.
Two weeks ago Sen. Joe Biden announced his campaign on Meet the Press and Russert asked him something about overcoming obstacles and Joe said
"I’m just going to try and be the best Biden I can be."
I think that we should all be the best Bidens we can be. Particularly Senator Hillary Clinton. She really needs to be the best Biden she can be.
Even John McCain needs to be the best Biden he can be.
We all really need to be the best Bidens we can be, am I right?
When told about this line – Senator Biden shouted so loud that he deafened himself momentarily. Luckily the staff is use to these sorts of fits of rage and had the necessary doctors on hand. Including his in-house anger management specialist who made him chant the phrase "the best biden I can be, the best biden I can be, the best biden I can be"
What do we do about Obama? Young Sen. Barack Obama announced his own candidacy weeks after people thought he would stop riding his wave of fame and only a few days after scandalous photos appeared showing him to be less well built than the women of America assumed he was.
Oh what WOULD Oprah do?? Lets call Gail and eat pie and ice cream!
Too – roomers on the hill have been going around as some staffers claim
"He isn’t really running."
Seems like a lot of riding those waves. One could even say that the Senator is between Barack and a hard place on that one......
Then there is the terrible assumption that because Obama hasn’t been in politics all that long, that there are gallons of scandal just waiting to come out about Obama – everything from his middle name to Obama Baby Momma Drama on the cover of the New York Post.
Then there is Romney. Come on – is America really ready to elect someone who wears special underwear? How did that work with Hoover? Isn’t it a cult? How many wives does he have? The guy goes by Mitt – how is that going to work.
And what about that right-wing-born-again-kid who’s been having an odd friendship with Rick Santorum over the past few years? What happened the last time Kansas tried to run for president? Ouch Plus... do Americans really want to elect a guy who use to look like this:
I mean ... that’s almost as nutty as this:
God love her... she’s a great Seantor who I like and I am so excited that we have a viable woman running for the White House – but it’s almost as if the woman doesn’t open her mouth to speak unless a poll tells her what to say. Not since her attempts at an honest to god health care system were destroyed by the disgusting right-wing wackjobs. Oh Hillary.... Where are you? Why did you leave us?
Then there is Chris Dodd who said he would skip the committee process altogether and is just running for president. At the point of reading that statement I said to myself .... "Wait... who is Chris Dodd again?" So I went to the first place I knew would remind me. Chris Dodd’s Website where I quickly found perhaps the most hilarious thing I’ve ever seen in my life:
Which prompted me to wonder – if he didn’t call it iDodd because Steve Jobs would sue him for copyright infringement. I’m curious if there will be Dodd t-shirts that say on the front – iDodd and on the back – Do UDodd?
And as the polls clearly state – 98% of those surveyed and these surveyed believe that John Edwards is too handsome to be President.
Then there is the continued trail of unlucky Johns that continue.... to Sen. John McCain – who honest to god is just trying to get people to believe that he is more conservative than he really is. I’m really a conservative No you’re not. Yes I am! No, hun, you’re really not. I’m friends with George! Yeah.. that just makes you weird – before most thought you were different, brave, stand up to injustice and bad policy and all of that .... Now you’re just a politician like the rest of them. Next thing you know he’ll be mackin’ on Bush like Joe. I’m sorry is that your poll rating in the toilet there with our Iraq policy... just checking.
So, I don’t know. I’m having a lot of fun this time of year. Sure – everybody is still fresh from victory and we all want to jump onto something that is great and keep the momentum going wild and crazy. But let’s face it – unless you can raise $100,000 for one of these folks – they are just going to smile and kiss your baby. It’s a year out from Iowa, Nevada, and New Hampshire – there will be 1000 polls, 500million in commercials, more candidates, more will drop out, I predict a fist fight, lots of kissing babies, more kissing old people, even more kissing of veterans, any number of jokes about Hillary being a lesbian from Sam Brownback’s man servants, and god only knows how many photo-ops with flags and Bibles.
I see a lot of fighting going on when it comes to presidential candidates on blogs and I want to encourage us all to remember that some of this is really quite funny an we should all join together and laugh and relax before we start knocking doors in the primary states in 6 months.
Just remember.... it isn't Bush.. Bush is NOT on the ticket. We are rid of him soon. It really could be worse.