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I didn't listen to or watch the SOTU. I read about it, here at dKos, while it was going on. Other folks subjected themselves to the direct radiation, and I thank them for sharing with we who were unwilling...

One Kosmo in particular, Bob Johnson, posted 37 comments during roughly 50 minutes of the SOTU, providing a virtual running transcript - a stunning accomplishment. A highly appreciated accomplishment.

'Course, Bob preceded each quote with the phrase "Did he really just say..." - which might lead one to acknowledge that Bob's quotes might not sum to be an exact transcript...

Exact transcript or no, as the quotes appeared, Bob doggedly stuck to the heart of the matter, and in doing so, created a piece of art. And reality.

And so...in thanks to Bob, and to share with others who may have missed it, I've compiled his 37 sequential comments, omitted the quotation marks, and arranged them into something that resembles topical paragraphs, sorta.

I also took the trouble to look at what was alleged to be a true and accurate transcript. I think that Bob's goes to the heart of the matter much more effectively.

Without further ado, the SOTU as described - from the original play-by-play - by the eminent Bob Johnson...

Face it, kids. Ya' fucked up. Ya' trusted us. Hehehe - I said 'Democrat' instead of Democratic! NOW I'm all for bi-partisanship!

We have created 7.2 million new jobs at McDonald's, Taco Bell and Burger King. We must balance the federal budget that I have so desperately fucked up. Expose every earmark to the light of day now that Abramoff is in jail and we've drained the federal budget as much as we can. After all, we still have no-bid contracts in Iraq for our pals.

We must provide funds for children who struggle. Look how I ended up! I heard about poor people. They need to show themselves. Where are these poor people? INsurance. Democrat. Nookylur. He-he-he-he!

I am having an affair with Senator Joe Lieberman. I'm for breathing. Anyone else? Look! Senator Kerry stood up.  He wants to get on TV! He must be running!

We need to allow my buddies to hire Mexicans for half the wages they'd have to pay Americans. See, Karl? I said 'animosity' and 'amnesty' in the same sentence and didn't fuck either of them up!

We need to reduce our dependence on foreign oil. I don't know why I'm so stupid that this didn't occur to me the day after 9-11. Imagine driving your car fueled by cow pies. Exxon-Mobil cow pies. Global climate change needs more study. Fuck. It's true.

Chertoff is a scary looking dude, isn't he? Terrrrrists are ascared of him.

This morning I had an easy movement.

We broke up a plot to implant a brain into my skull.I singlehandedly stopped some terrorists from letting their dogs take a dump on the sidewalk in downtown Crawford. Iran Iran Iran Iran bad Iran evil Iran Iran bad Iran Iran Iran evil evil bad kill Iran Iran. YOU'RE ALL GONNA' DIE!!!!!!!!!!!

I feel like I've given this speech before. Like a thousand times. At least.

We'll bring democracy to the Middle East if we have to kill every last Middle Easterner to do it! Remember purple fingers? You can pick them up off the street now. Every one of us wished this war was over and won... Well, except for Halliburton and Blackwater and few of our other friends who hold billions and billions of dollars of no-bid contracts.

Some call it a civil war. I call it terrists, insurgents, roaming death squads who just need to sit down over a cup of that thick Iraqi coffee and talk it out. Iraq's leaders must show they understand the consequences of their actions. But for christsake, you guys, don't look at me!

Joe Lieberman. Kiss me!

Support our troops or you're a dirty, rotten commie! We have a diplomatic strategy that is-- Oh, come on, even I can't say this bullshit with a straight face. The reason is we're having so much diplomatic success is because Condi is... HHHHHHHOTTTTTT!!!!!"

Let's do something for the colored in Africa, but the hell with the colored in New Orleans. PLUS, the dude can dunk!

This woman has accomplished more in  the business world in a few short years than I ever did. While I was screwing up businesses and having daddy's friends bail me out, others were actually adding value to society. Entrepreneurs, war heroes, people who sacrifice themselves for others... I would never do that shit.

This President is an idiot. Period.

I do note that the words "New Orleans" were not actually mentioned in the SOTU.

The SOTU - Bob's version or those alleged to be a true and accurate transcripts - they bring to mind a diary that called it yesterday before the speech -

That's all I want to hear out of my Democrats tomorrow:   This speech was a joke...When are Bush and Cheney going to resign?

Originally posted to luckydog on Wed Jan 24, 2007 at 04:23 AM PST.

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