On occasion, when having a craving for sheer entertainment, I enjoy wandering through the sludge over at Red State and other wingnut sites, and am usually not disappointed.
Yesterday was no exception. A Red State diarist, AcademicElephant, posted a lengthy diary arguing that the '08 Republican dream ticket would be no less than a Don Rumsfeld/John Bolton pairing.
At first, after reading the headline: Daring to Dream: Why I support R-B in '08, I initially came to the conclusion that this had to be snark. Surely this was a joke, even on a rightie blog. But no, it's for real and it's very serious. The link is here.
More on the flip:
After lamenting about the sad state of the field of '08 Republican Presidential contenders, referring to the situation as a "malaise", the diarist proceeds to launch an argument for a "dream ticket" of Rumsfeld and Bolton:
As an antidote to this malaise, Jed suggested the ticket of Donald Rumsfeld and John Bolton in ’08:
"I dreamt, for one fleeting moment, about a Rumsfeld-Bolton ticket in 2008. Can you imagine how much Prozac the New York Times editors would consume if that dream came true? R-B in '08?"
Jed's fleeting dream brought a wan smile to my face. But as the last few weeks have gone by, as I’ve watched candidates on both sides of the aisle begin to show their hands—and so to reveal what pathetically weak hands they are-—this dream has shown some staying power.....It might behoove those of us who aren’t too thrilled with either the new political reality of post-2006 Washington or with the prospects we’re being offered for 2008 to cast our net a little wider than the current field--and to look beyond the flash to the substance.
Substance? Oh yes. This diarist really believes he/she's onto something, and the endearing rationale for this proposed dream ticket, if not for the serious tone in which it is written, would be great fodder for a Jon Stewart monologue:
The fundamental issue here is one of competence. Both Mr. Rumsfeld and Mr. Bolton are enormously accomplished individuals whose public and private lives qualify them far better for the White House than any other candidate running........While I agree with Mark that General Haig has had a noteworthy career--I would call his resume pretty gleaming sterling--he pales a little bit in comparison to Mr. Rumsfeld. Working class mid-western roots. Eagle scout. Princeton on a ROTC and academic scholarship. Olympic-class athlete. Naval aviator (instructor) turned national guard (active until 1989). Four-term congressman. Head of Nixon's Office of Economic Development. Ambassador to NATO. Ford's Chief of Staff and Secretary of Defense. A special advisor on foreign and military policy to Presidents Reagan, GHW Bush and Clinton, which was a sideline during a period when he was making a substantial personal fortune in the private sector turning around troubled drug and technology companies with viable products (we would not have Diet Coke--and so I would not have a PhD--were it not for Donald Rumsfeld, American hero).
American hero? Gosh, golly, gee. And what about Bolton? This gets good:
He has extensive private sector legal experience, in the course of which he specialized in trade and investment law, as well as constitutional law. He has been a tireless crusader against the proliferation of weapons of mass destruction. He has a clear and unvarnished vision of our international position.....
and more on Bolton, "facial hair with attitude":
Speaking of the VP, there's the moustache. That's facial hair with attitude. It tells you something about the man. No, John Bolton is unlikely to be indulgent or "feel your pain" in the Clinton tradition. But in real terms he is far from unsympathetic--after all, he has been a more serious advocate for the poorest and most disadvantaged of this world than his clean-shaven critics, notably Kofi Annan and Jimmy Carter. He might not tear up at his press conferences...
WTF?
After reading through this seriously painful but comic commentary, surely a rational human being would expect the diarist to get flogged in the comments for such an off-the-wall proposal, even on a wingnut blog. But no, instead of derision, the comments that followed actually raved about the idea. Here's an example:
I think what we really need in this campaign is more Republican/Conservative diversity, and I can't think of anyone who would shake up the field and focus the mind more positively than Donald Rumsfeld.
And let's face it, folks. John Bolton got the rawest deal in history. I know that NRA members like me would give him the chance to speak, especially out of gratitude for his absolutely crystal-clear statements and actions against the United Nations Gun Banners and their friends from Soros' foundation.
If there was ever proof that the far right is certifiably batshit insane, this is it. Following this diary, a poll appeared today giving a Rumsfeld/Bolton ticket a 35% vote, exceeding the performance of both McCain and Giuliani! You can see it here.
Please, please Red Staters, go for it! Start a draft movement for your dream ticket immediately. It would be the dream ticket for us Dems too!