On November 11, 2005 I boarded a bus and took a four hour ride that ended with an eight hour wait, which ended with a five hour plane ride. When the Plane touched down, I was over three thousand miles away from Germany and about to enter my own insignificant chapter in the Iraq war. I would not return to Germany until October 31, 2006. I hope that you find what I write to be stimulating, but I do not expect you to agree with all that I say, and nor would I want you behave as such an obedient member of the choir. My Impressions are below.
The Last Impression first
The Tarmac and staging area at Baghdad International Airport (Sather Air base) is a photogeneic site. On October 26, 2006 I left BIAP. Sitting and waiting in a darkened bus while watching all of the new soldiers arriving and staging their gear. We eventually filed off the bus and followed an airman who led us onto the blacked out tarmac with a chem stick. It didn't become apparent to me the amount of stress we were all living under for the past year until the plane took off. We all sat together huddled in the C-130 in pitch blackness as the engines roared to life and the plane began to taxi down the runway. What happened when the planes wheels left the ground was astounding not because it was extraordinary in nature, but because of its spontaneous outburst. What happens when the wheels left the runway? The whole plane erupted in cheers, screams of joy, and hugs. Yes, the plane took off, and then suddenly I felt much lighter.
Stress is a killer
War Zone stress functions in a fashion similar to alcohol. It effects every individual in a unique fashion, but it effects everyone. There was an "army" of stress counselors, mental health techs, psychiatrists, and psychologists available for counseling, and intervention downrange. Their primary function (and I don't think you would hear any of them debate this point) is to return soldiers to duty as quick as possible. There are a number of articles that have been written touting the Army's "success" in this function in Iraq. Medication, and in particular Psychotropic medication has played an important role in this return to duty. I cannot envision though, given the large number of side effects that psychotic meds have that a "study" has been conducted anywhere regarding the efficacy and reliability of these individuals after they have been returned to duty. In March of 2006, I applied for graduation at Eastern Illinois University (4 years after doing all the work) and one of my soldiers "allegedly" tried to kill himself. I use the word "allegedly" because I simply don't know for certain the facts of the attempt and a number of questions were raised that cast doubts. In that same 72 hour period I carried out all of my normal taskings, applied for graduation, called my brother and congratulated him for his primary win, and escorted my joe to the clinic twice a day. If my memory serves me correct, I wrote my brother an email during this timeframe and called it something like 72 hours in Iraq. In that 72 hour time frame from March 20-22 I believe I slept less than six hours. If there was a singular event though that completely drained me of energy during that period though it would consist of the ten minute walk and two minute handoff to the mental health folks at the clinic. Those two fifteen minute periods were my least favorite parts of the day. It was during those moments that my Joe would convey the things he "did" "saw" or "heard" during the day. To be honest I didn't like going to the clinic, merely going there was depressing, but to be honest I think that was probably part of their aim to make the clinic so depressing that it drives the soldiers back to their units because that is their only other option. Now almost a year later the facts are still not in place, and to be honest I am not really concerned at all, but some of the stats and stories to come out of the clinic are alarming. Out of 200 plus patients in a mere four months since 4th ID was on ground only 3 soldiers were medically evacuated from that clinic. Individuals, who had locked and loaded and threatened to kill their Sergeant major (and or chain of command) were eventually returned to duty. (I don't know the final disposition, but that is a reasonable assumption since they were treating that individual there) Watching 24 and 25 year old men break down and simply cry "I just need to get home" is not something that sat particularly well with me either. (Not all soldiers resorted to the theatrics of the mental health clinic) All in all, I was able to learn some important facts out of talking with the Major at the clinic. My overall conclusion from talking with him being Someone high in the Department of Army/Pentagon has ordered a near stoppage of psychiatric evacuations in Iraq. Can you successfully treat a mental health patient in a war zone? I don't know, but I don't think the Army's policy as it currently stands is especially prudent. The reason lies in mere human resources. To quote my LT about the aforementioned case he said "He simply takes up more human resources than he ought to be allocated." This was my breaking in to the leadership ranks. Four weeks earlier at a conference I had picked up this little nugget of knowledge: "95 percent of a Leaders time is taken up by 5 percent of the soldiers." A real good question-is it better to keep problematic soldiers in the war zone or ship them home? I think the underlying fear of the Army is that if they make it easy for "fabricators" to get out of the war zone it will "open" the floodgates and allow larger numbers to become "problematic." I disagree with those sentiments, because I can now say in retrospect it varies with the individual. Perhaps actually conducting a personality assessment and psychology screening at MEPS would aid in the recruitment process, but then again would a sane person voluntarily sign up to face the carnage in Iraq? They do, but that lies mainly from a strange cultural concept of manhood. Why is it necessary to kill another human being in order to "prove" your manliness? Yet, that is a prevailing notion that is fundamentally present in a large number of the younger male soldiers I had. The worst of the stress though? Hands down goes to the gun truck crews, and patrols that had to face the IED threat on a daily basis. Imagine, the thought of termination at your workplace when you go to work everyday. That is a thought that perhaps enters every soldiers mind in the war zone, and I confess it is a liberating thought that I abused in my own mind quite often. Whenever I found myself confronted with some "high ranking" individual spewing some nonsense it was quite liberating to check out mentally and realize that if a mortar hit us right now all of this nonsense they are getting up tight about would be highly irrelevant.
Leadership
The leaders you go to Iraq with make all of the difference in the world. While I was more than willing to go to a One star General and basically ask for my "old" boss to be fired prior to departing I never took such action and I suppose he sniffed something was up and I was transferred two months before deployment. I ended up in a very fortunate position as did all the soldiers I served with in Iraq. My new platoon sergeant was an educated man from the streets of Chicago, ex-college footballer, and held a masters degree. As a platoon we all gelled together and quickly became a topic of conversation in the ranks upon returning to Germany. True Leaders unite people and make them stronger, they do not divide the group and have them fight amongst themselves. It was a basic philosophical difference I had with my old boss. I didn't dislike him as a person I merely disagreed with 92 percent of his leadership philosophy. The biggest difference between the two? A respect for others.
Forbidden Items
General Order number one prohibits a number of items. I cannot for the life of me understand the vast majority of the prohibited items that are clearly banned not because of practical purposes, but because of political ones. Alcohol and pornography are the two most common items that are prohibited, but the end result of this ban has deleterious side effects in some chronic alcoholics when it comes to prohibition. This leads a number of soldiers to turn to another illegal activity known as "huffing" The degree of and prevalence of "huffing" downrange is limited since I do not believe this is tracked on any of the post deployment surveys taken unless an individual responded voluntarily with such information. The main supply in this "stupid" activity is readily provided by AAFES in the form of compressed air to clean computer keyboards. An ordinary object, used for a necessary purpose in the desert, but carried unintended consequences when used inappropriately. There has been at least one soldier that has died from "huffing" and I am not defending the practice of it. I do think that soldiers would be less inclined to participate in such activities (most do it covertly) if the ban on alcohol was lifted and rationed in a closely monitored situation. Some might argue that this defies common sense injecting alcohol into a war zone, or offend the local population. It is not going to offend the locals necessarily because alcohol has been present in Iraq for years, although not necessarily consumed by muslims. It won't necessarily impact the readiness or judgment of soldiers if it is monitored as much as it will impact the readiness of soldiers if it is drank in secret. In essence? Alcohol, Drugs, Prostitution, Pornography and depression are all common in the war zone.
Baghdad
Midway thru our tour we transferred to Baghdad. The work in Baghdad was in less disarray than the situation in Taji, but the living conditions were less secure. I am going to be careful with all I am going to say about that and the conditions I found on the ground in Taji upon arriving in theater. I can sum it up though by saying it wasn't pretty. I also don't want to give anyone anything they can use.
First Impression
The tension in the lead up to deployment was greater than the initial reception into Iraq. I was heavily impressed during an RPG attack on our base at one time when I witnessed soldiers continue with a basketball game during the rocket attack. The normality of life in the war zone was also amazing but the things that appeared normal during the day to day affairs of things were later rendered outside the realm of normal when taken in the context of the daily barrage and musical sound of gunfire. This is a situation that would consistently present itself during the year. Soldiers instead of "seeking cover" would carry on with their normal activities as if the sound of mortars, rockets, and gunfire were a completely normal affair as honking your horn in traffic. Due to the large number of these events it is easy to pick out the new kid on the block by the end of the year.
Going Home
Towards the tail end of the deployment it was looking like I might be able to make it back to Illinois in time to vote on November 7. As you all know by now the results of that race were not as optimistic as I had liked and for reasons not visible to me in my location all of the "undecideds" came down on Hastert's side. Needless to say now I was spared the dramatic appearance at O'hare when the Army delayed our departure from Kuwait without explanation by three critical days.
reintegration
Seven half days of meetings designed to merge a soldier back into his/her previous life without too much trouble occur upon a soldier hitting ground at home station. Seeing as my wife was in england I really wasn't in the mood to undergo these seven days of "training" and I suspect a number of other soldiers were also in a hurry to get signed out on leave as well. The benefit of conducting all of these personal and probing questions in an en masse environment is also a procedural matter I think should be re-examined. I eventually was able to go on leave and link up with my wife and son in the UK. My son was born a full month before our deployment and it was literally like inheriting a one year old instead of a newborn into your life. He was able to fly to Germany and then to the US prior to to returning to Germany.
Upon returning to duty in Germany is something I will not go into depth here and nor will I go into a "makeshift" tally of the toll that the company endured.
The polling question I am going to ask though has nothing to do with my narrative, and I am hoping to generate some discussion. The Iraq war is truly a complicated mess after the last four years. How would you end the war?