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Just how tired are you of "Christians" (not Christians, but "Christians") shoving the pieces of their Bible they like down your throat, while hypocritically ignoring the rest? My cartoon site is called Hypnocrites because I finally conclued the only way they could be so blatantly hypocritical, without getting laughed off the world stage, is some sort of mass hypnosis.
Should we make gay marriage illegal because the Bible says so? First, I don't think it actually says that, but if we are going to go all Biblical in our family law, maybe we should look at:
1 Kings 11:3
א וְהַמֶּלֶךְ שְׁלֹמֹה, אָהַב נָשִׁים נָכְרִיּוֹת רַבּוֹת--וְאֶת-בּ
;ַת-פַּרְעֹה: מוֹאֲבִיּוֹת עַמֳּנִיּוֹת אֲדֹמִיֹּת, צֵדְנִיֹּת חִתִּיֹּת. 1 Now king Solomon loved many foreign women, besides the daughter of Pharaoh, women of the Moabites, Ammonites, Edomites, Zidonians, and Hittites;
ב מִן-הַגּוֹיִם, אֲשֶׁר אָמַר-יְהוָה אֶל-בְּנֵי יִשְׂרָאֵל לֹא-תָבֹאוּ בָהֶם וְהֵם לֹא-יָבֹאוּ בָכֶם, אָכֵן יַטּוּ אֶת-לְבַבְכֶם, אַחֲרֵי אֱלֹהֵיהֶם--בָּה
ֶם דָּבַק שְׁלֹמֹה, לְאַהֲבָה. 2 of the nations concerning which the LORD said unto the children of Israel: 'Ye shall not go among them, neither shall they come among you; for surely they will turn away your heart after their gods'; Solomon did cleave unto these in love.
ג וַיְהִי-לוֹ נָשִׁים, שָׂרוֹת שְׁבַע מֵאוֹת, וּפִלַגְשִׁים, שְׁלֹשׁ מֵאוֹת; וַיַּטּוּ נָשָׁיו, אֶת-לִבּוֹ. 3 And he had seven hundred wives, princesses, and three hundred concubines; and his wives turned away his heart.
ד וַיְהִי, לְעֵת זִקְנַת שְׁלֹמֹה, נָשָׁיו הִטּוּ אֶת-לְבָבוֹ, אַחֲרֵי אֱלֹהִים אֲחֵרִים; וְלֹא-הָיָה לְבָבוֹ שָׁלֵם עִם-יְהוָה אֱלֹהָיו, כִּלְבַב דָּוִיד אָבִיו. 4 For it came to pass, when Solomon was old, that his wives turned away his heart after other gods; and his heart was not whole with the LORD his God, as was the heart of David his father.
ה וַיֵּלֶךְ שְׁלֹמֹה--אַחֲרֵ
י עַשְׁתֹּרֶת, אֱלֹהֵי צִדֹנִים; וְאַחֲרֵי מִלְכֹּם, שִׁקֻּץ עַמֹּנִים. 5 For Solomon went after Ashtoreth the goddess of the Zidonians, and after Milcom the detestation of the Ammonites.
ו וַיַּעַשׂ שְׁלֹמֹה הָרַע, בְּעֵינֵי יְהוָה; וְלֹא מִלֵּא אַחֲרֵי יְהוָה, כְּדָוִד אָבִיו. {ס} 6 And Solomon did that which was evil in the sight of the LORD, and went not fully after the LORD, as did David his father. {S}
ז אָז יִבְנֶה שְׁלֹמֹה בָּמָה, לִכְמוֹשׁ שִׁקֻּץ מוֹאָב, בָּהָר, אֲשֶׁר עַל-פְּנֵי יְרוּשָׁלִָם; וּלְמֹלֶךְ, שִׁקֻּץ בְּנֵי עַמּוֹן. 7 Then did Solomon build a high place for Chemosh the detestation of Moab, in the mount that is before Jerusalem, and for Molech the detestation of the children of Ammon.
ח וְכֵן עָשָׂה, לְכָל-נָשָׁיו הַנָּכְרִיּוֹת, מַקְטִירוֹת וּמְזַבְּחוֹת, לֵאלֹהֵיהֶן. 8 And so did he for all his foreign wives, who offered and sacrificed unto their gods.
ט וַיִּתְאַנַּף יְהוָה, בִּשְׁלֹמֹה: כִּי-נָטָה לְבָבוֹ, מֵעִם יְהוָה אֱלֹהֵי יִשְׂרָאֵל, הַנִּרְאָה אֵלָיו, פַּעֲמָיִם. 9 And the LORD was angry with Solomon, because his heart was turned away from the LORD, the God of Israel, who had appeared unto him twice,
י וְצִוָּה אֵלָיו, עַל-הַדָּבָר הַזֶּה, לְבִלְתִּי-לֶכֶ&
#1514;, אַחֲרֵי אֱלֹהִים אֲחֵרִים; וְלֹא שָׁמַר, אֵת אֲשֶׁר-צִוָּה יְהוָה. {פ} 10 and had commanded him concerning this thing, that he should not go after other gods; but he kept not that which the LORD commanded. {P}
Note, contrary to some rather convenient interpretations, Solomon didn't get in trouble for bigamy, but for turning away from God.
But wait, it gets better. If gay marriage is against the rules, what do you think of incest? And remember, Lotand his family were the BEST Sodom and Gomhorra had to offer. And that doesn't even go to Lot's offer to give his daughters over to gang rape to protect the honor of a couple of strangers.
ל וַיַּעַל לוֹט מִצּוֹעַר וַיֵּשֶׁב בָּהָר, וּשְׁתֵּי בְנֹתָיו עִמּוֹ, כִּי יָרֵא, לָשֶׁבֶת בְּצוֹעַר; וַיֵּשֶׁב, בַּמְּעָרָה--הוּ
א, וּשְׁתֵּי בְנֹתָיו. 30 And Lot went up out of Zoar, and dwelt in the mountain, and his two daughters with him; for he feared to dwell in Zoar; and he dwelt in a cave, he and his two daughters.
לא וַתֹּאמֶר הַבְּכִירָה אֶל-הַצְּעִירָה,
אָבִינוּ זָקֵן; וְאִישׁ אֵין בָּאָרֶץ לָבוֹא עָלֵינוּ, כְּדֶרֶךְ כָּל-הָאָרֶץ. 31 And the first-born said unto the younger: 'Our father is old, and there is not a man in the earth to come in unto us after the manner of all the earth.
לב לְכָה נַשְׁקֶה אֶת-אָבִינוּ יַיִן, וְנִשְׁכְּבָה עִמּוֹ; וּנְחַיֶּה מֵאָבִינוּ, זָרַע. 32 Come, let us make our father drink wine, and we will lie with him, that we may preserve seed of our father.'
לג וַתַּשְׁקֶיןָ אֶת-אֲבִיהֶן יַיִן, בַּלַּיְלָה הוּא; וַתָּבֹא הַבְּכִירָה וַתִּשְׁכַּב אֶת-אָבִיהָ, וְלֹא-יָדַע בְּשִׁכְבָהּ וּבְקוּמָהּ. 33 And they made their father drink wine that night. And the first-born went in, and lay with her father; and he knew not when she lay down, nor when she arose.
לד וַיְהִי, מִמָּחֳרָת, וַתֹּאמֶר הַבְּכִירָה אֶל-הַצְּעִירָה,
הֵן-שָׁכַבְתִּי אֶמֶשׁ אֶת-אָבִי; נַשְׁקֶנּוּ יַיִן גַּם-הַלַּיְלָה,
וּבֹאִי שִׁכְבִי עִמּוֹ, וּנְחַיֶּה מֵאָבִינוּ, זָרַע. 34 And it came to pass on the morrow, that the first-born said unto the younger: 'Behold, I lay yesternight with my father. Let us make him drink wine this night also; and go thou in, and lie with him, that we may preserve seed of our father.'
לה וַתַּשְׁקֶיןָ גַּם בַּלַּיְלָה הַהוּא, אֶת-אֲבִיהֶן--יָי
;ִן; וַתָּקָם הַצְּעִירָה וַתִּשְׁכַּב עִמּוֹ, וְלֹא-יָדַע בְּשִׁכְבָהּ וּבְקֻמָהּ. 35 And they made their father drink wine that night also. And the younger arose, and lay with him; and he knew not when she lay down, nor when she arose.
לו וַתַּהֲרֶיןָ שְׁתֵּי בְנוֹת-לוֹט, מֵאֲבִיהֶן. 36 Thus were both the daughters of Lot with child by their father.
לז וַתֵּלֶד הַבְּכִירָה בֵּן, וַתִּקְרָא שְׁמוֹ מוֹאָב: הוּא אֲבִי-מוֹאָב, עַד-הַיּוֹם. 37 And the first-born bore a son, and called his name Moab--the same is the father of the Moabites unto this day.
לח וְהַצְּעִירָה גַם-הִוא יָלְדָה בֵּן, וַתִּקְרָא שְׁמוֹ בֶּן-עַמִּי: הוּא אֲבִי בְנֵי-עַמּוֹן, עַד-הַיּוֹם. {ס} 38 And the younger, she also bore a son, and called his name Ben-ammi--the same is the father of the children of Ammon unto this day. {S}
Do you think that was bad? There's more. Everybody remembers the story of Abraham offering to sacrifice his son, and God sending an angel to stop him. But do you remember Jepthah? He gave his virgin daughter as a sacrifice. This is a bit of a funny aside, by the way- the big tragedy wasn't her death, but the fact that she was burned alive as a virgin.
ל וַיִּדַּר יִפְתָּח נֶדֶר לַיהוָה, וַיֹּאמַר: אִם-נָתוֹן תִּתֵּן אֶת-בְּנֵי עַמּוֹן, בְּיָדִי. 30 And Jephthah vowed a vow unto the LORD, and said: 'If Thou wilt indeed deliver the children of Ammon into my hand,
לא וְהָיָה הַיּוֹצֵא, אֲשֶׁר יֵצֵא מִדַּלְתֵי בֵיתִי לִקְרָאתִי, בְּשׁוּבִי בְשָׁלוֹם, מִבְּנֵי עַמּוֹן--וְהָיָה
, לַיהוָה, וְהַעֲלִיתִיהו
1468;, עֹלָה. {פ} 31 then it shall be, that whatsoever cometh forth of the doors of my house to meet me, when I return in peace from the children of Ammon, it shall be the LORD'S, and I will offer it up for a burnt-offering.' {P}
לב וַיַּעֲבֹר יִפְתָּח אֶל-בְּנֵי עַמּוֹן, לְהִלָּחֶם בָּם; וַיִּתְּנֵם יְהוָה, בְּיָדוֹ. 32 So Jephthah passed over unto the children of Ammon to fight against them; and the LORD delivered them into his hand.
לג וַיַּכֵּם מֵעֲרוֹעֵר וְעַד-בֹּאֲךָ מִנִּית עֶשְׂרִים עִיר, וְעַד אָבֵל כְּרָמִים, מַכָּה, גְּדוֹלָה מְאֹד; וַיִּכָּנְעוּ בְּנֵי עַמּוֹן, מִפְּנֵי בְּנֵי יִשְׂרָאֵל. {פ} 33 And he smote them from Aroer until thou come to Minnith, even twenty cities, and unto Abel-cheramim, with a very great slaughter. So the children of Ammon were subdued before the children of Israel. {P}
לד וַיָּבֹא יִפְתָּח הַמִּצְפָּה, אֶל-בֵּיתוֹ, וְהִנֵּה בִתּוֹ יֹצֵאת לִקְרָאתוֹ, בְּתֻפִּים וּבִמְחֹלוֹת: וְרַק הִיא יְחִידָה, אֵין-לוֹ מִמֶּנּוּ בֵּן אוֹ-בַת. 34 And Jephthah came to Mizpah unto his house, and, behold, his daughter came out to meet him with timbrels and with dances; and she was his only child; beside her he had neither son nor daughter.
לה וַיְהִי כִרְאוֹתוֹ אוֹתָהּ וַיִּקְרַע אֶת-בְּגָדָיו, וַיֹּאמֶר אֲהָהּ בִּתִּי הַכְרֵעַ הִכְרַעְתִּנִי, וְאַתְּ, הָיִית בְּעֹכְרָי; וְאָנֹכִי, פָּצִיתִי פִי אֶל-יְהוָה, וְלֹא אוּכַל, לָשׁוּב. 35 And it came to pass, when he saw her, that he rent his clothes, and said: 'Alas, my daughter! thou hast brought me very low, and thou art become my troubler; for I have opened my mouth unto the LORD, and I cannot go back.'
לו וַתֹּאמֶר אֵלָיו, אָבִי פָּצִיתָה אֶת-פִּיךָ אֶל-יְהוָה--עֲשֵׂ
;ה לִי, כַּאֲשֶׁר יָצָא מִפִּיךָ: אַחֲרֵי אֲשֶׁר עָשָׂה לְךָ יְהוָה נְקָמוֹת, מֵאֹיְבֶיךָ--מִב
ְּנֵי עַמּוֹן. 36 And she said unto him: 'My father, thou hast opened thy mouth unto the LORD; do unto me according to that which hath proceeded out of thy mouth; forasmuch as the LORD hath taken vengeance for thee of thine enemies, even of the children of Ammon.'
לז וַתֹּאמֶר, אֶל-אָבִיהָ, יֵעָשֶׂה לִּי, הַדָּבָר הַזֶּה: הַרְפֵּה מִמֶּנִּי שְׁנַיִם חֳדָשִׁים, וְאֵלְכָה וְיָרַדְתִּי עַל-הֶהָרִים, וְאֶבְכֶּה עַל-בְּתוּלַי, אָנֹכִי ורעיתי (וְרֵעוֹתָי). 37 And she said unto her father: 'Let this thing be done for me: let me alone two months, that I may depart and go down upon the mountains, and bewail my virginity, I and my companions.'
לח וַיֹּאמֶר לֵכִי, וַיִּשְׁלַח אוֹתָהּ שְׁנֵי חֳדָשִׁים; וַתֵּלֶךְ הִיא וְרֵעוֹתֶיהָ, וַתֵּבְךְּ עַל-בְּתוּלֶיהָ עַל-הֶהָרִים. 38 And he said: 'Go.' And he sent her away for two months; and she departed, she and her companions, and bewailed her virginity upon the mountains.
לט וַיְהִי מִקֵּץ שְׁנַיִם חֳדָשִׁים, וַתָּשָׁב אֶל-אָבִיהָ, וַיַּעַשׂ לָהּ, אֶת-נִדְרוֹ אֲשֶׁר נָדָר; וְהִיא לֹא-יָדְעָה אִישׁ, וַתְּהִי-חֹק בְּיִשְׂרָאֵל. 39 And it came to pass at the end of two months, that she returned unto her father, who did with her according to his vow which he had vowed; and she had not known man. And it was a custom in Israel,
מ מִיָּמִים יָמִימָה, תֵּלַכְנָה בְּנוֹת יִשְׂרָאֵל, לְתַנּוֹת, לְבַת-יִפְתָּח הַגִּלְעָדִי--אַ
רְבַּעַת יָמִים, בַּשָּׁנָה. {פ} 40 that the daughters of Israel went yearly to lament the daughter of Jephthah the Gileadite four days in a year. {P}
Assume for a moment the Bible says gays can't marry, okay? Is this really the source we want to turn to for our family law? Not me.