Thank heavens for resourceful reporters! As you are all aware, Khalid Sheikh Mohammed has -- according to government sources -- confessed to being the mastermind of the 9-11 attacks as well as the death of American journalist Daniel Pearl. What you don't know is that an intrepid reporter was going through Kyle Sampson's garbage (Wednesday is paper recycling day in D.C.) and found an intriguing group of e-mails.
The content is reproduced below.
FROM: Kyle Sampson
SENT: Tuesday, March 13, 2007 12:45 pm
TO: Donald Rumsfeld
SUBJECT: Operation Soaring Eagle
Don:
Ha ha -- isn't it funny we're sending e-mails when our offics (sic) are right next door to each other? By the way, where do they keep the supplies over here, I need some white-out.
As you are aware, my boss and yours has decided it's going to best to do a slow drip of news (OSE). I am working on a daily release we can feed the media, but I NEED MORE TIME!!
Kyle
//
FROM: Donald Rumsfeld
SENT: Tuesday, March 13, 2007 2:56 pm
TO: Kyle Sampson
SUBJECT: Operation Soaring Eagle
Kyle:
Time is of the essence. Here is what we can release for Thursday's news cycle:
WASHINGTON - Suspected 9/11 mastermind Khalid Sheikh Mohammed confessed to the beheading of American journalist Daniel Pearl and was central to 30 other attacks and plots in the U.S. and worldwide that killed thousands of victims, according to a transcript released Thursday by the U.S. military.
"I decapitated with my blessed right hand the head of the American Jew, Daniel Pearl, in the city of Karachi, Pakistan," Mohammed is quoted as saying in a transcript of a military hearing at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, released by the Pentagon.
"For those who would like to confirm, there are pictures of me on the Internet holding his head," he added.
BTW, if you want white-out, talk to Betty in room 407. People were hoarding it, so she put it under lock and key.
Don
//
FROM: Kyle Sampson
SENT: Tuesday, March 13, 2007 3:12 pm
TO: Donald Rumsfeld
SUBJECT: Operation Soaring Eagle
Great! Thanks!! I'll go with that. Here is what I have worked up for the next day's news dump:
WASHINGTON - In a stunning confession, Khalid Sheikh Mohammed has admitted that he "used his blessed right hand to put Anthrax spores into envelopes mailed to U.S. congresspeople and news organizations in 2001."
A bipartisan group of senators and representatives has lauded the Bush administration for exacting the stunning confession. When Mohammed was asked about the skepticism expressed by some in the computer blogosphere, he replied to Pentagon officials: "I don't know why they could doubt it. All they have to do is use the Google."
Thanks on the white-out. Got me some.
Kyle
//
FROM: Donald Rumsfeld
SENT: Tuesday, March 13, 2007 3:28 pm
TO: Kyle Sampson
SUBJECT: Operation Soaring Eagle
Sounds fine.
What ya got for Friday? Rove says to throw some new meat out for our friends (FOX will start the ball rolling) they can chew all weekend. Should keep Alberto and the Latin American trip fiasco (hey, you dance with the wife you brought to Brazil, not the chick you'd like to dance with, eh?) out of the cycle pretty much.
D.
//
FROM: Kyle Sampson
SENT: Tuesday, March 13, 2007 3:47 pm
TO: Donald Rumsfeld
SUBJECT: Operation Soaring Eagle
How about this?
WASHINGTON - In revelations that will have wide-ranging ripples through the corridors of Washington, Sheikh Khalid Muhammed has confessed to tampering with U.S. elections, seeding the storm clouds that led to Hurricane Katrina, and -- in the most stunning admission of all -- creating the crudely forged document concerning yellowcake uranium that led the administration officials to believe Iraq had weapons of mass destruction.
"With my blessed left hand, I used Elmer's Glue and plain white paper," Mohammed said from his cell Friday. "Regarding the Hurricane Katrina, as you know, no one could have expected us to crash airplanes into a hurricane, Allah be praised."
As for the rigging of U.S. elections, Pentagon officials reported that Mohammed said, "I will be releasing more of my confessions on that next week. More details will be available on various internets and at www.foxnews.com."
Sources in the administration say certain democrat senators and congresspeople owe the Bush administration an apology. Respected think tanks also said Bush approval ratings will undoubtedly now rise.
K.
//
FROM: Donald Rumsfeld
SENT: Tuesday, March 13, 2007 4:20 pm
TO: Kyle Sampson
SUBJECT: Operation Soaring Eagle
Sounds good. Damn good. Funny, isn't it, that maybe the sharpest two guys in D.C. are working in the goddamn basement? Fuck Waxman anyway.
Don
//
Editor's Note:
The Pentagon had released a 26-page transcript of the closed-door proceedings on Wednesday night. Some material was omitted, and it wasn’t possible to immediately verify details. The military barred reporters or other independent observers from the sessions for the 14 operatives and is limiting the information it provides about them, arguing that it wants to prevent the disclosure of sensitive information.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/...