As most Kossacks already know, Preznit Shrubbie threw a little tantrum yesterday. He promised to ignore any congressional subpoenas in the ever-widening, ever more-odious US AttorneyGate scandal. He called the investigation a "fishing expedition."
I have a few words for Preznit Shrubbie. I know that with everything going on, nobody will bother to read this to him, but I need to get it off my chest anyway.
No, Mr. Preznit, this is no fishing expedition. The Great Clinton Cock Hunt -- that was a fishing expedition. Thirty-one of Clinton's close aides testified before Congress on 45 separate occasions. The result? A blow job or two was discovered. If you spent ten years and $40 million investigating Mother Theresa, you would probably find something at least as "bad" (the word "bad" is quoted because I'm not so sure that Bill and Hillary had not had some sort of agreement for years before Monica reared her ugly head).
Your crimes are so transparent, by contrast, that I can find them within seconds and at an expense of precisely zero. You and your ilk are very, very bad men, and everybody except a dwindling and increasingly insignificant minority of severe righttards knows it now. This particular "fishing expedition" is more akin to shooting fish in a barrel.
The important distinction between you and President Clinton, Mr. Preznit -- one that your minions of righttards will ignore or utterly fail to understand -- is that Clinton's indiscretions and failings were of a personal nature. Unlike you, President Clinton never shirked his duty to uphold the Constitution. Unlike you, President Clinton never endangered national security by trying to squash an investigation into why one of his top appointees at the CIA was accepting gifts -- including comped hookers -- from a defense contractor. Also, it bears mentioning, unlike you, President Clinton led our country to an unprecedented period of prosperity, a period in which our nation was liked and respected around the world as a benevolent hegemon. Yes, Mr. Preznit, we true, patriotic Americans remember those halcyon days, and we will not forgive you for the damage you have done to our beloved homeland. And, no, Mr. Preznit, we are not about to let you get away with your many, many crimes against us.
So you're going to refuse the congressional subpoenas, Mr. Preznit? You're hoping your buddies on the Supreme Court will bail you out? As in 2000, when they helped you steal your first election, they have no jurisdiction here. Refusing congressional subpoenas constitutes contempt of Congress. What if an ordinary citizen tried that? It is difficult to imagine that they would get much sympathy from any court -- or that any court would even hear their case.
Of course, unlike the rest of us, you can claim "executive privilege." That won't fly, certainly not in the court of public opinion. Besides, executive privilege, like any other legal construct, is constrained by the Constitution. The Congress exists as a check on your power. Executive privilege does not undo the Constitution.
You offered to let your aides testify while not under oath and with no transcripts of the proceedings. What would the point in that be? As you Repugs are so fond of saying when you want to tap our phones and search our homes and personages without warrants, "If you have nothing to hide, you have nothing to fear."