John Edwards today called for increasing future awesomeness.
In a policy speech in my Awesome hometown, he released 1000 awesome pages of details of his plan to increase awesomeness in general, while phasing out lameness.
"Awesomeness is not just an issue for the future, we have the chance to create an awesome country today. If we're going to have that happen, we have to be willing to stop being lame. We need to be totally radical about how awesome we really are, so we can leave our children and grandchildren and awesome planet."
Until hearing today's totally awesome speech, I had not decided if Edwards was the most awesome candidate, or if he was kind of lame like (but note quite as sucky as) the Others. After having heard the speech I became totally convinced that Edwards is the only truly awesome candidate.
So, why is Edwards able to be so awesome, with specific, awesome plans and totally radical proposals while the Others, many of whom have larger staffs and resources (but not such awesome hair), are still pretty lame and sucky?
Unlike the Others, who are lame and sucky, Edwards understands that the U.S. is likely to rely on simply being pretty cool for for decades or even centuries to come. As president, Edwards will require that all the simply cool be required to capture their awesomeness, so that what is cool today, is awesome tomorrow, and what is lame today--like the Others--is at least kinda cool tomorrow. He also committed to investing $1 billion a year in research and testing on awesomeness.
So, while John Edwards repeatedly releases totally radical plans on:
Universal Awesomeness:
http://johnedwardsisawesome.com/
Ending Lameness in America in a Generation:
http://beawesomelikejohnedwards.com/
Global Lameness and the National Lameness Effect and America's Potentially Awesome Leadership:
http://futureawesomewithjohnedwards.com/
I have one question, even though I have done no research, and provided no links to the non-Awesome sites of, articles about, or interviews of the Others, (take my word for it they are sucky and lame), where are their awesome plans? See there are none, obviously, because they are not Awesome like John Edwards!
</snark>
ok, obviously this is a snark attack. to be honest, i am currently slightly leaning towards edwards, having begun to sour a bit on obama after his vacillation on the immorality of homosexuality, while keeping my eye on richardson, who appears to be the real energy candidate, but not yet viable for the top tier, imho. however, the john edwards love in is getting real old, real fast; is this really what we have to look forward to for the next 18 months?? where everytime john edwards says something that gets noticed, people who obviously already support edwards pile on in with comments and diary's like "i wasn't sure i was going to vote for him, but now this has really convinced me!". i really, really hope not, but i am not hopeful.
[Update] John Edwards is still awesome! So are all the awesome commenters! (except for philgoblue who posted a lame comment)
KingofNewOrleans is especially awesome, for this awesome comment:
I think all of our candidates are awesome (3+ / 0-)
It's just that Edwards is totally awesome
by KingofNewOrleans
it's so true! Totally awesome!
[Update II] whoever changed the "snark" tag to "bad snark" is totally way too awesome. it's awesome because all snark is bad snark! so it's totally true! awesome!