FakeNews, Inc: At around 10:20 Eastern time tonight, Secretary of State Condileeza Rice killed presidential confidant and secret lover Karl Rove with three shots from a .38 revolver. In a statement to the press, Ms. Rice stated: "I warned that fat pig to stay away from my husband, but did he listen? Noooooo!!!!!!"
The incident took place in the Lincoln bedroom which then collapsed under the weight of Rove's falling body, causing widespread structural damage to the entire White House. Vice-President Cheney immediately issued a proclamation awarding the reconstruction contract to Halliburton.