In a sane world, John McCain would be nothing but a complete laughingstock by now. His credibility would be deep in the Marianna Trench, sinking into the primordial ooze, never to be seen again.
(si, hay mas)
After the bizarre, self-starring kabuki theater McCain produced last week -- strolling through an Iraqi market and insisting it was safe, honest and truly, even though he wore body armor and was escorted by a freaking 100-strong high-tech army -- that really should be the end of the road for the Arizona Senator. No sane person should be caught shaking the man's hand, much less embracing him as a Presidential candidate.
No sane person, that is. But ladies and gentlemen, I give you Lucianne Goldberg's son, Jonah -- a perrenial underachiever with a bully pulpit and a head full of kitty litter.
After a brief flirtation with sanity back in October 2006, when he admitted that the Iraq invasion was a mistake, Goldberg is now believing in rightwing fairies again. This week his bewinged fantasy creature is a bald, 70-something liar who also happens to be a Senator from Arizona. It seems that this gnarly little fairy might actually be the man to -- dare we say it? -- WIN in Iraq! Yay team Jesus!
In his column for the L.A. Times (a newspaper that soiled its own pants by hiring him), Goldberg urges his fellow wingnuts NOT to give up on the alleged "maverick, " and takes them to the woodshed for writing McCain off, contrasting him to the apparently-not-crazy-enough Rudy Giuliani. (Forgive me for not linking to the Dough-boy. Just can't do it. If you want to get to the L.A. Times in general, it's www.latimes.com. Then search "slow-witted rightwing nepotism beneficiaries," perhaps.)
After 9/11, Giuliani earned his reputation for showing his sensitive side. After 9/11, McCain said to our enemies, "May God have mercy on you, because we won't." How can conservatives argue that Giuliani is The One because he's willing to be a tough SOB on the war on terror, while deriding McCain because he's been such an effective SOB to a president and party who, McCain believes, haven't been tough enough?
In response, McCain has decided to slap conservatives out of their haze. In what his campaign is billing as major speeches, the first on Wednesday at the Virginia Military Institute, McCain plans to make his candidacy a referendum on victory in Iraq. It is a truly bold and courageous gambit. At a time when the polls advise running away from the war, McCain will embrace it.
By positioning himself to the hawkish right of the Bush administration, McCain might be able to make the election a referendum on the future of Iraq, rather than a referendum on the last four years. As a war hero with two sons in the military, McCain can argue with obvious moral authority that while we may have blundered our way into Iraq, it would be an even greater blunder to get out before winning.
Being a "tough SOB" -- such is the way into a chunky rightwing Mama's boy's heart.
Goldberg, predictably stupid, is willing to hitch his snack-filled wagon to McCain's star simply because McCain is an asshole who spouts phony tough-guy talk. Never considered -- nay, not for a second -- are the pesky details of what McCain will do with Iraq except stage more idiotic, easily-mocked Safety Pageants.
To insecure men like Goldberg, the risible tough-dude talk is like a pacifier; a security blanket that All is Well in Rightwing Daddy World.
And damn it, if it takes hundreds of thousands more American and Iraqi lives for Golberg to feel like Rightwing Daddy is looking over him while he eats his Cheetos & Twizzlers and watches Simpsons reruns, he's willing to clap his hands and BELIEVE in John McCain, the tough hombre who strolls down the Iraqi streets alone and unafraid, looking for terrorists to wrassle. (burp!)