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I'm glad Kurt Vonnegut is dead. Oh, I'll miss him and his irrepressible humor and delightful imagination. But that's just me feeling sorry for myself.

Sticks and Stones and Nappy Headed Hos
for release 04-13-07
Washington DC
by Lightning Rod

I'm glad Kurt Vonnegut is dead. Oh, I'll miss him and his irrepressible humor and delightful imagination. But that's just me feeling sorry for myself. I'm glad that Kurt didn't live to see the massive crack in the liberty bell represented by the current Don Imus nappy-headed ho dust-up and also glad that Kurt has an opportunity to spin in his grave so soon after his interment. What would Kilgore Trout have to say about the Imus affair? He would say, "leave the poor man alone, he's a comedian ferchrissakes. Get over it. He's not an officeholder or a policy maker or a moral leader, this wasn't a makaka moment. Imus is just a guy who makes wisecracks on the radio. Let him make a living."

But now, thanks to Rev Al and Rev Jesse 'Hymietown' Jackson, we don't just have an 'N' word, we have a whole 'N' phrase. "Thou shalt not say 'nappy headed hos."

Here's the deal. You can say 'nappy headed ho' if you are talking about Don Imus saying it. But you can't actually say it to a real nappy headed ho. Especially if his name is Al Sharpton.

I admit to being curious about the whole topic. For instance, the question occurs to me: Which part of nappy headed hos is getting people so upset? Is it the nappy headed part or the ho part? Are we to the point where making fun of someone's hairdo is grounds for excommunication? I can understand it when people are upset when they are accused of being prostitutes, even when referring to most of us the accusation is well founded.

The ritual outrage has gone on for several days now. We have seen the requisite wailing and gnashing and yanking of nappy hair. I'm having trouble remembering who it was that Rutgers lost the game to. The whole team and coach were on Oprah yesterday being asked if they felt like that their moment of glory was spoiled by this controversy. Gimmie a break. Rutgers LOST the game. They weren't entitled to a moment of glory. But I'm sure that they are quite happy with their fifteen minutes of fame.

So, Don Imus and his buds are sitting around watching a Bball game. I could picture this happening in my house on a Saturday afternoon. Guys are sitting around watching the black girls with the tattoos cut it up on the court and after tossing a few beers, one of them says, "now ain't those a bunch of nappy headed hos?" This was not a comment made in any serious spirit or context. This didn't come from the mouth of the president or a preacher or an officeholder. This came from the mouth of a comedian who was going for a laugh.

Kurt would have laughed about all the T shirts and teddy bears and coffee cups emblazoned with the phrase, Nappy Headed Ho. I don't particularly feel sorry for Don Imus in this escapade. In just a few seconds of running off at the mouth he galvanized the country and established a franchise. He should patent the brand name--Nappy Headed Hos. I can just see it now stitched on the butt pockets of blue jeans. Britany Spears and Halle Berry could do the commercials with their shaved heads. Here's the slogan: Put Imus on your Anus. He could have a bigger career in fashion than he did in radio.

No joke is a great joke without a sad part. The sad part of the Nappy Headed Ho joke is that we seem to be taking it so seriously. Has our nation really abandoned its sense of humor to this extent? Should we have all our mouths washed out with the soap of political correctness? Next we will have to build concentration camps for kindergarteners who are caught calling names on the playground.

After all the ruckus and the outrage and the self-righteous moral indignation fades away, my prediction is that Imus will be the only one walking away with his dignity in this matter. He has behaved like a gentleman. He apologized profusely and directly and, I believe, sincerely for his little linguistic faux pas. But we live in Salem, folks, so Take Him to the Stocks.

Sticks and Stones may break my bones
But words will never hurt me.
--old wives tale

visit Lightning Rod World Headquarters at:

Originally posted to Lightning Rod on Fri Apr 13, 2007 at 11:05 AM PDT.

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